From a new interview on Tatame.com.br, translated by CagePotato’s Luiz De Souza.

***

How does it feel to go against another Brazilian fighter?
I wouldn’t want to go against another Brazilian, but we are all professionals and that’s how it goes. There are fights amongst people of the same nation; it’s inevitable. Only one will come out champion from this group of Brazilians, and it will become our job to go against friends. The most important thing is to deal with this as professionals. The Americans already have this in their culture, they understand it, they are friends, but when the fight comes…This happens a lot in K-1, they fight against each other and still have good relationships…I obviously would rather not go against another Brazilian, we are together representing the same country, but then again everyone is defending their own flags. I know [Silva] hasn’t had a loss yet either, he comes from great victories in the events, but I am doing my homework so that I can win this fight.

Have you started studying your opponent?
I’ve seen a couple of his fights, but it is still early to start training specifically for him. What I am doing now is my basic training, physical preparation, and in August I will train to go against him. He is tough, like all others, there has to be a built-up strategy and some good studying of his game for me to win.

Do you think that the next fighter to get a chance at the belt is the winner of your fight against Thiago, Chuck Liddell vs. Rashad Evans, or do you think Wanderlei can be the one too?
I think anything can happen, but I think that Liddell, since he is an ex-champion, has great chances of getting the shot at it if he wins. Wanderlei also has a chance, but he was a Pride champion instead, so his chances are maybe lower than Chuck’s. Wanderlei is good enough to fight for the belt, for everything he has already done and for everything he still does, but the UFC is the one who decides.

Are you going to train with Anderson Silva for this fight?
Yes I will. In August I should be going to Rio to train with Anderson.

Tatame.com.br checks in with Mauricio Rua — translation by CagePotato’s Luiz De Souza.

***

Shogun Wants to Fight in December

Mauricio “Shogun” Rua talked to TATAME after being away from the ring since September of 2007. He seems very excited about returning to the Octagon after having a magnetic resonance done. “My knee is doing fine, thank God. I was going to begin training hard again this week, but I talked to my doctor and we are doing a few exams first. I am already boxing and lifting weights, and I think that next week I will go back to practicing some jiu-jitsu, and with time I will start training harder,” said Shogun, who last Saturday saw the fight with Griffin, the man who defeated him in the Octagon, winning the belt. Shogun does not think of revenge against Forrest Griffin.

“I will train hard for whoever comes next. I am coming from a loss so I cannot pick my opponent. There is nothing set yet, but I hope to come back in December. It’s more comfortable for me that way,” affirmed Shogun, who is this month, opening another branch of Universidade da Luta, in Curitiba (Brazil). “On the 21st there will be an event for the media, and on the 22nd there will be a huge class for more than 800 students. Wanderlei Silva will be here, everyone will…It’s going to be great,” said the athlete.

Previously: Rua Blows Out Knee, Will Not Face Liddell

(Spider-Man punching a hole through the Sandman; just saying.)

Attention, Potato Nation! We will be liveblogging both “Affliction: Banned” and “Silva vs. Irvin” on Saturday night. I (BG) will be posting round-by-round updates and commentary for the Affliction show, while live updates for the UFC card on SpikeTV will be handled by the lovely and talented Chad Dundas of MMA-America. Fowlkes will be attending the Affliction show in person and will surely return on Monday with wild stories. Luiz De Souza, I would imagine, will be somewhere furiously translating Portuguese. And there you have it — there’s no other place to be this weekend for MMA event coverage than CagePotato.com. Come by and bring friends.

As it turns out, I’ll have my hands full covering Affliction, since the entire card will now be televised. “Banned” was originally slated to feature two fights on Fox Sports Net and five fights on pay-per-view, with four preliminary bouts expected to go untelevised. Now, FSN will feature three matches, and the rest will be on the PPV card. Here are the particulars:

Affliction: Banned prelims — Live on FSN, 5 p.m. PT/8 p.m. ET; will feature Aleksander Emelianenko vs. Paul Buentello, Antonio Rogerio Nogueira vs. Edwin Dewees + 1 more fight
Affliction: Banned main card — Live on pay-per-view starting at 6 p.m. PT/9 p.m. ET
UFC: Silva vs. Irvin — Live on SpikeTV, 6 p.m. PT/9 p.m. ET

Be here.

Slated for release in April, Redbelt is a new film by writer/director David Mamet (Glengarry Glen Ross, Hannibal, The Untouchables) about a mixed martial arts instructor who’s forced to compete in prize bouts. (Or something.) The cast includes Randy Couture, Tim Allen, Chiwetel Ejiofor, brilliant card-manipulator/actor Ricky Jay, MMA pioneer Enson Inoue, and Brazilian-born model Caroline de Souza Correa, who has previously appeared in Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith and The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (fittingly, as “Sexy Brazilian Model”). At the very least, her role should be enough for you to throw this one on your Netflix queue. If you need further persuasion, check out more pics of Caroline after the jump.

(Photo courtesy of MySpace.com/MinotauroBJJ)

This Wednesday at 10 p.m. on Spike TV, Antonio Rodrigo “Minotauro” Nogueira begins his duel with Frank Mir on the season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter 8. The two heavyweight jiu-jitsu masters will each lead a team of eight UFC hopefuls (four lightweights and four light-heavyweights), while sizing each other up for their own fight in December; the winner will take on the winner of UFC 91′s Randy Couture/Brock Lesnar match sometime next year. Luiz De Souza chatted with Big Nog on Friday to get his thoughts on his TUF experience and the UFC’s upcoming “heavyweight tournament.”

***

CAGEPOTATO.COM: In some of the past seasons of The Ultimate Fighter, the coaches built up great rivalries. Was there ever any hostility between you and Frank Mir? Did he get on your nerves in any way?
ANTONIO RODRIGO NOGUEIRA: No, there wasn’t much of that; we have a lot of respect for each other. If there were arguments they were between the fighters themselves. I went there to do my job. I went to teach the guys, with the goal of not getting involved in fights with the guys inside the house or from the show, but to train them instead. That was my idea. I did my part and Frank did his. At times I was pissed at some of them because some of the guys were picking fights inside the house, and they would lose their control. There was one who wouldn’t quit picking fights, but overall nothing too major.

What do you think of Frank, as a person and as a fighter?
He is a good fighter, very strong, and he has great jiu-jitsu skills. He is also a very cool and nice guy, but he is my opponent, so I am training to fight him.

What’s your strategy going to be when you fight him in December? Would you rather fight him on the ground or standing?
There isn’t really a strategy; my strategy is to finish him. We don’t really choose if the fight will be standing up or on the ground. Whatever happens I will be ready for it.

After he lost to Forrest Griffin, Quinton Jackson partially blamed his performance on the fact that, because of The Ultimate Fighter, he’d gone 10 months between fights. Are you concerned that your own long layoff will affect your performance?
Well, the last time Frank Mir fought was the last time I fought, so the truth is that we both have the same disadvantage. I really don’t like to go such a long time without fighting; never in my life have I gone without fighting for this long. This does make a difference, but this is my job and I will fight when the day comes.

(Photo courtesy of StrikeforceUSA.net.)

One of the most unfortunate aspects of Tito Ortiz’s bizarre negotiation cock-up with Affliction is that it’s jeopardizing his grudge match with Renato “Babalu” Sobral, the Brazilian UFC vet who would love, love, love to kick the crap out of him. After Sobral’s impressive unanimous decision over Mike Whitehead last month at “Affliction: Banned,” a meeting between Babalu and the Huntington Beach Bad Boy seemed inevitable. Right now, the only thing that’s certain is that Sobral will be fighting Bobby Southworth on September 20th for Strikeforce’s light-heavyweight championship, and he’s currently training hard to be worthy of the belt. Our own Luiz De Souza chatted with Sobral recently about Ortiz, Strikeforce, and the real story behind his unique nickname.

***

CAGEPOTATO.COM: First of all, how likely is it that we’ll see you face Tito Ortiz in Affliction?
RENATO SOBRAL: I don’t know when that fight will happen. It’s not up to me — if it was, I would have beaten his ass yesterday.

You’ve said that facing Tito would be your “dream fight.” Why is that, exactly?
First of all because he said that I am a “C-class fighter,” then he went on to say that I am a third-world country fighter. It would be a pleasure for me to kick his ass.

What do you think of him as a person?
Well…he is a good fighter. But it would be my pleasure to send him to hell.

If you two fought, how do you think the fight would end?
Whatever way in which the ending is me sending him to hell.

The salaries for some of the fighters at the first Afflicton show were incredibly high — do you feel like you were underpaid compared to guys like Ben Rothwell, Matt Lindland, or some of the other headliners?
I don’t really comment on money. Some make more money; others who are just starting make less. I have nothing to complain about.

How has Affliction treated you, compared to some of the other promotions you’ve worked for?
I’ve been treated very well by everyone, and I have nothing to complain about. I am a professional. Fighting is a business — the show doesn’t have to be the fighter’s father and mother.

The Peruvian Savage last fought at UFC 79 in 2007. Props to MMA-Latino for the image.

While there’s a chance that some of you reading this may not know who Tony DeSouza is, it’s hard not to respect him for what he has done for our sport. The thirty-eight year old Cholitzu practitioner (that’s Cholo Jiu-Jitsu, n00b) complied a 3-3 record in the UFC and a 10-4 record overall until his retirement in 2007. He was the wrestling coach of Team Penn throughout The Ultimate Fighter 5, and the inventor of the Peruvian Necktie.

Oh, and he also stepped up on short notice Thursday night to fill in for one of his injured students, and despite not fighting in five years, submitted Bolivian Luis Fernando in the first round.

As MMA-Latino explained to us in an email, Tony’s student was originally set to fight Luis Fernando on Thursday night. However, a freak accident at their hotel room saw the window fall out and cut his student’s hand and arm, forcing his student to withdraw from the fight [Author Note: "Freak accident" is really putting it mildly here, I imagine]. DeSouza stepped up to take the fight, and despite a respectable effort from Fernando, “The Peruvian Savage” secured a fight-ending choke in just over one minute. Video awaits after the jump.

This Tatame.com.br interview with Anderson Silva has been picking up some heat today over Silva’s statement that Lyoto Machida is the UFC’s true light-heavyweight champion, and that he doesn’t actually intend to make a run at the 205-pound title. (Dana White apparently didn’t get that memo.) The entire article seemed interesting, so we had our new Portuguese-speaking friend Luiz De Souza translate the entire thing for us. Enjoy.

***

Are you in Brazil or Las Vegas?
I’m in Brazil for a little more than a month. I’m here in Rio training.

What do you expect from this fight with James Irvin in the light-heavyweight division?
My training has been going pretty well. It’s a new experience that we are trying to do. I only train with people above my weight class, I have always trained this way. Lets wait and see how it goes. Coming out of my fights alive like I always do is something good, going back to my family is the most important thing. We made a chronogram of training and physical preparation, we studied it with some [knowledgeable] people, and we are going there to put it into practice, to see if everything we trained and innovated will work.

He said that you ran over the people from your weight class, and that he does not fear your game plan and that he will show you the reason why there are weight classes. What do you think of that?
I believe that weight classes exist for that reason, but when I used to fight in PRIDE there wasn’t a category up to 83kg (183lb) only 93kg (205lb), and I always fought in it. But I did not have the same physical and technical qualities I have today. It’s an experiment, we are doing it for many reasons, and one of them is because Dana White asked me to fight, and myself, along with my friends that help me a lot, have decided that it is doable. We’ll see, I will look to do my job like I have been doing regardless of the results, and I am going into it to test myself, to see if I can. If it turns out to be a positive result, it will mean that our experience plus our experiments worked. People own their own mouths, so he can say whatever he wants, and he is right about the reason for weight classes. I did not have the intention of going for this belt, this belt is Lyoto’s and he has proven that. I am going into this fight because I like to fight, I like challenges.

(It isn’t often that you can document the exact moment someone’s UFC career went to shit, yet here we are…) 

If you were to ask any knowledgeable fan of the sport circa 2008 what they thought of Luiz Cane, they would likely tell you that he was “one of the most underrated LHW’s in the division.” Following an unsuccessful UFC debut — which was halted when Cane accidentally struck James “Curse Watch” Irvin with an illegal knee — “Banha” absolutely blistered Jason Lambert and Rameau Sokoudjou in back-to-back contests, then scored a solid UD victory over Steve Cantwell to solidify his place as a rising contender. No, not the five fight losing streak Steve Cantwell, we’re talking about the Brian Stann TKOing, Al-Hassan arm-breaking Steve Cantwell. Cane’s chin appeared to be made of iron, platinum, unobtanium, or whatever element you’d prefer to compare it to, and combined with his solid takedown defense and devastating hands, looked to be on the fast track to a title shot.

But then, things fell apart (as they oft do in MMA) and Cane would quickly find himself fighting not just for a win, but to remain employed under the promotion in which he had once thrived.

It all started when Cane squared off against PRIDE veteran Antonio Rogerio Nogueira at UFC 106.

(Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

After Lyoto Machida scored the biggest win of his undefeated career by out-pointing Tito Ortiz to a unanimous decision at UFC 84, he immediately became the subject of intense debate in the MMA community. While his fans praise his impenetrable defense and technically perfect counter-attacks, there are others who find his stick-and-move style to be boring — or worse, cowardly. Our resident Brazilian Luiz de Souza called Machida at his home base in Belém, Brazil, to get his take on the criticism, and to find out where he thinks he stands in the UFC’s light-heavyweight title picture.

***

CagePotato: Thanks so much for taking the time to speak with us today. Do you have any idea who your next opponent will be?
There’s been a lot of speculation, but there’s no confirmation of anything yet. But I think it could be Thiago Silva, or even Quinton Jackson.

We’ve heard that multiple fighters have turned down fights with you. Why do you think people are trying to avoid you?
It’s like I said in other interviews, this is a business, and so many times people don’t want to fight, not because they are scared, but because they want to get to the top quicker. Many times, fighters have better opportunities of getting higher-ranked in other fights, which makes them choose their fights sparingly, not accepting all challenges. It’s not a matter of being scared.

Some UFC fans refer to your style as “boring.” How do you respond to that?
The truth is that my style of fighting is very technical, and many times people do not understand what I am trying to show them. But this is my style. I can add to it, try to get better combinations, improve my aggressiveness, but this is my style; it’s each person’s characteristics. There are fighters that try to add to their styles, but it’s very difficult to change completely. I fight for a positive result, and I believe that if I add a few things to my style I can still get these positive results.

I don’t feel that this is the only way fans see me. There are many of them who compliment me, and tell me they enjoy watching me fight, so it’s not only negativity coming from them. But it’s something that depends on each person’s point of view, and how the person is looking at the fight. If the person is only looking at it as a brawl, then it gets harder for the person to understand. But when they look at it with a more technical view, looking at the martial arts in it, maybe they’ll understand it better.

Has the UFC ever asked you to press the action more, or are they content with how your fights have been going?

(Hey Strikeforce, give this man a fight already. When does Chael get back?)

Strikeforce middleweight champion Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza is not happy with his lack of activity the past year and he’s hoping the UFC’s purchase of the California-based promotion will remedy the frustrating situation.

The decorated Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt (who has not fought since defeating Robbie Lawler in January) has only fought three times in the past 365 days including his championship win over Tim Kennedy last August that saw him take home the vacant Strikeforce middleweight title relinquished by Jake Shields when he moved over to the UFC.

He tells Tatame that he just wants to fight and no matter who it’s against or where or when the bout takes place, he’d just be happy knowing there’s a fight for him on the horizon.

“I want to fight as soon as possible. I don’t fight for a long time and I’m upset about it. For one who works for fighting, not fighting for a long time, when you’re ready to go, is the worst thing that can happen. I had to stop for about a month or two, but I already was good to go, and didn’t know when I would fight again. I’m looking forwards to know when I’ll be fighting and then I’ll tell you guys. There’re many good athletes [for me to face]. Strikeforce is one of the greatest events on earth, so I’m cool with anyone they tell me to fight against. As a Strikeforce employee what I really want is to fight.”

(“OH GOD, OH GOD. I CAN’T FIND A PULSE, YOSEMITE!”) 

Considering Anderson Silva has all but left the middleweight division for the more lucrative worlds of light-heavyweight squash matches and straight-to-DVD cop films, we think it’s going to be pretty difficult for the UFC to put their patented “winner gets a title shot” rub on the upcoming UFC on FX 8 card scheduled for May 18th. Sure, the event features both a headlining fight between top contenders Vitor Belfort and Luke Rockhold and now a middleweight clash between Ronaldo Souza and Costa Philippou, but when your division’s champion has been turning down the matchups that have been offered to him for months now, to what extent can you start promoting number one contenders?

Be that as it may, UFC on FX 8 will now feature a pair of middleweight showdowns that should have title implications written all over them, as the pairing of Souza and Philippou was just made official a few hours ago. Since losing his Strikeforce middleweight title to Rockhold in September of 2011, “Jacare” has collected three straight stoppage victories, including a first round kimura submission of Ed Herman at Strikeforce’s final event last month.

(Props: AllTheBestFights)

Ronaldo Souza‘s recent fights have proven that his standup skills are catching up with his tremendous ability on the mat — and his striking improvement reached an important milestone on Saturday night, when he scored the first lights-out K.O. of his nine-year fight career.

“Jacare” faced 9-1 Jackson’s MMA product Derek Brunson on the main card of Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman, and in Liddell-esque fashion, Souza found his opponent’s chin with a back-pedaling counter-right that dumped Brunson on his face. A few more follow-up shots, and it was all over. Even more impressive than Souza’s finishing power was the fact that he stopped throwing as soon as he saw that Brunson was unconscious — even if referee Mike “Stache God” Beltran clearly wanted the fight to keep going.

But Souza vs. Brunson wasn’t the only great knockout from this weekend’s Strikeforce card. After the jump: Ovince St. Preux’s one-punch shutoff of T.J. Cook.

("Okay, fine! Team Edward! Team Edward!" Joey Villasenor gets chased down by Ronaldo Souza at Heavy Artillery. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

It was announced on Friday that Strikeforce: Houston — which goes down August 21st at the Toyota Center, and will be headlined by the light-heavyweight championship match between Muhammed "King Mo" Lawal and Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante — will also feature a fight between Tim Kennedy and Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza for the organization’s middleweight title, which recently became vacant when Jake Shields got fired. But wait just a goddamned minute, wasn’t the new MW champ supposed be determined by a potentially epic tournament? Well, it seems that was the plan. Unfortunately, Strikeforce didn’t do their homework before booking the event. As MMAFighting.com explains:

Strikeforce had been planning a one-night, four-man tournament in Houston to determine its next champion. The four competitors were to be Kennedy, Souza, Robbie Lawler and Matt Lindland. Those plans, however, were nixed by the Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation…

TDLR administrator Greg Alvarez confirmed to MMA Fighting on Saturday that Strikeforce wanted a one-night, bracket-style tournament for the Houston show, which will air live on Showtime. But Alvarez said that request was denied. "They asked if it was possible and I told them that when Tough Man was outlawed, the state also did away with tournaments back in 2001," Alvarez said.

("Wow! Those pills from Broughton Nutrition really made me bigger stronger and faster. I can’t believe I won the contest.")

Besides the handful who admit to their wrongdoing, when most fighters get popped for using PED’s, they typically plead ignorance.

"I don’t know how I tested positive. It could have been from using the sauna at the gym."

Chuteboxe fighter Vinicius de Queiroz, who tested for positive for the steroid Stanozolol following his UFC 120 loss to Rob Broughton and was subsequently dropped by the promotion tells Tatame that he didn’t knowingly ingest anything illegal, but surmises that he may have unwittingly taken the drug.

“I was caught by surprise with this doping thing, I’d never use something that could ruin my career, something that could bring me any kind of problems… I won some imported supplements and I used it, and there were some prescribed medicines too," Vinicius said before trying to explain awayhis guilt by feebly pointing out that Stanozolol is "used to lose weight, something that would be useless for a heavyweight who would have a disadvantage in confronting a bigger athlete."

Really?

Saying that anabolic steroids are primarily used for cutting weight is like saying alcohol is primarily used by fat chicks to get laid. Sure it’s one of the things they’re used for, but it isn’t the primary use.

(Props: Bloody Elbow)

As mentioned yesterday, War Machine won his bout against the previously-undefeated Guillaume De Lorenzi at Friday night’s XMMA 7 event, ending the fight with a rear-naked choke after some back-and-forth grappling — which is also how he defeated Darren Zatkow in Spetember 2007. Luckily, he didn’t get probation for this one. Score!

(Diaz looks to the heavens as if to say, ‘Stop screwing with me, God.’)

MMA’s favorite soap opera, otherwise known as Nick Diaz’s life, has taken yet another turn. Sherdog reported earlier today that Diaz will indeed fight in Dream.3 this weekend. Probably. If he can cut the weight in time and get to Japan. And if nothing else weird happens. Though it almost certainly will.

Cesar Gracie told Sherdog’s TJ De Santis that Pro Elite CEO Doug DeLuca stepped in to override Gary Shaw’s decision to pull Diaz from the show. Apparently Shaw (Elite XC’s President of Live Events) felt the Dream.3 fight was too close to Diaz’s June 14 bout for Elite XC, but DeLuca decided to cut Diaz a break because, according to Gracie, “[h]e thought Nick sort of got screwed with the whole California Athletic Commission thing.”

Yeah, you remember. The California Athletic Commission thing.

Even with this fortuitous turn of events, Gracie seems to have a well-earned skepticism about the whole matter:

“It was off, then on, then off again … now it’s back on. I won’t really believe it until he is on the plane tomorrow morning heading to Japan.”

“Tonight we will be pulling an all-nighter cutting weight,” Gracie said late Wednesday. “Nick was under the impression he wasn’t fighting. So now we have to get the weight back down before he leaves.”

Where we go from here, nobody knows. Hopefully DeLuca’s good deed goes unpunished, and all ends well for Diaz, Dream, and Pro Elite. The odds of that happening are slim.

Still, doesn’t it make you wonder how Nick Diaz’s life might have turned out differently if only he had a Doug DeLuca around all the time, helping him and guiding him like some kind of rich fairy godfather? I do. I wonder.

(1-0 over constrictive tanktops, 0-1 over actual competition. You will be missed, Gilbert. Photo courtesy of UFC.com) 

The UFC continues to steamroll ahead with its massive roster cuts, Potato Nation. And while we are never one to praise the departure of a Zuffa employee (unless it’s Paul Daley, of course), we should at least be able to take comfort in the fact that there are no Jon Fitch level mind-bogglers for us to mourn this time around. However, the UFC’s most recent list of firings does feature — somewhat unsurprisingly — every TUF 17 alum who came up short in the season’s finale earlier this month, as well as a couple other guys who have had less than successful UFC runs as of late.

Taking out the trash is never fun, so let’s just get this thing over with…

(Julie Kedzie steals the show at the EliteXC: Destiny weigh-ins, while some creepy chick named Gina lurks in the background. / Photo via George Ruiz)

What the hell, guys…it’s like the UFC is actually assembling a real women’s bantamweight division, with contenders and prospects and even gatekeepers. Color us impressed. The UFC’s latest female fight-booking is veteran Jackson’s MMA product Julie Kedzie vs. Dutch kickboxer Germaine “The Iron Lady” de Randamie, both of whom spent time in Strikeforce before that organization’s collapse. As first revealed by FOX Sports, the two fighters will meet at UFC on FOX 8, July 27th in Seattle.

A decorated practitioner of the “Fuck This” fighting style (seriously), Kedzie has unfortunately lost her last two contests against Miesha Tate and Alexis Davis, which dropped her career record to 16-11. Since then, she’s kept busy as a member of the Invicta FC broadcast team, and according to Wikipedia, Kedzie is also Greg Jackson’s personal assistant.*

(Major props to Stan Horaczek for the find.)

Meet Alan “45 of these across the sneeze” Kahn, a self-described “frustrated drummer trying to get a work out” who is here to transport you back to the cocaine-filled fairy tale that was 1985 via the power of DeBarge’s “Rhythm of the Night,” which Alan will be rhythmically accompanying on his trusty 8×5 speed bag with a beat that will get you laid yesterday.

You see, our buddy Alan here is kind of a guru when it comes to the long lost art of rhythmic-speed-bag-punch-drumming. He has released an instructional DVD on the concept, boldly and somewhat blasphemously titled “The Speed Bag Bible,” which you can purchase on Amazon for the low, low price of $19.77 (Free Shipping!). He also runs the website Speed Bag Central, a Texas-based you are already clicking the link, aren’t you? I don’t blame you; I’ve already ordered five copies of “The Speed Bag Bible” and plan on handing them out as Christmas gifts this year to the ones I hold dearest.

The speed bag is to Alan Kahn what a secretive mix of 11 herbs and spices was to Colonel Sanders, and his Youtube hits need to start reflecting how truly innovative this man is. If a 17 second clip of a sneezing baby Panda can attain over 150 million views, then this clip of Alan punch-drumming the Mortal Kombat theme should easily be able to reach into the hundreds of billions. So head over to the official speed bag Youtube page and check out all of Alan’s videos, which include covers of everything from Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust” to The Who’s “Pinball Wizard.”

After the jump: Meet the rest of the punch-drumming gang through an And1-style mixtape that will instantly make you want to burn all of your old And1 mixtapes. Advanced warning.

(Props: YouTube.com/fighthub)

FightHubTV recently got in front of boxing legend Oscar De La Hoya, and asked him for his thoughts on the Rory MacDonald vs. BJ Penn fight at UFC on FOX 5, which De La Hoya was apparently live-tweeting. It seems that De La Hoya enjoys that MMA stuff once in a while, although he was a little confused by Rory’s performance:

“Well I wondering like, ‘why don’t you just go finish him?’ Because [MacDonald] looks like he has talents, he looks like he has that little ‘it’ factor…just keep on working on it, keep on working on it. You have to feel that killer instinct. Feel it! And go after it. Grab it, get it…I would love to see him use that jab to the body. If I was in there with that opponent he was fighting against, that jab to the body would have just paralyzed him. I mean, it would have. You could see it. I mean, obviously you could see things from outside, but he’s a talented fighter, my hat goes off to him.”

Dang, I kind of feel bad that Oscar referred to UFC legend BJ Penn simply as “that opponent [Rory] was fighting against,” and I’m sure it would break Penn’s heart to hear that. But honestly, I wondered the same thing during the fight. Particularly in the second round, when Penn was doubled up from body shots, with only his pride and otherworldly toughness keeping him on his feet — could MacDonald have turned it up a notch and beaten Penn to the ground? In the third round, when Rory was, ahem, “trying to mix it up [with] different distances” — what if McDonald just threw more strikes instead of showing off his totally sweet Muhammad Ali shuffle-step impression?

Via none other than the bossman’s Twitter account, here is the funniest thing you will see all day. I’m going to go as far as to say that it completely negates the fact that we were deprived of a pay-per-view oh so long ago. Then again, it’s Friday, and I’m already drunk. Have a great weekend, Potato Nation!

-J. Jones

(DON’T MOVE ROB! There is the biggest hornet on your nose right now!) 

A battle between undefeated heavyweights Stipe Miocic and Philip De Fries has recently been booked for the UFC’s upcoming debut on FUELTV, which transpires February 15th at the CenturyLink and Cornmeal Center in Omaha, Nebraska.

After starting off his professional career with five straight (T)KO victories, all coming within the first two rounds, Croatian-born Stipe Miocic scored a second round leglock submission over Bobby Brents to earn himself a call from the UFC. In his debut, Miocic would handle tough veteran Joey Beltran with a deft combination of leg kicks and takedowns en route to a unanimous decision victory. Though his choice to sport the same checkerboard trunks as the legendary Mirko Cro Cop would earn him the ire of many keyboard warriors across the nation, a win over De Fries, specifically a head kick KO, would certainly give him some breathing room. De Fries, on the other hand, had finished all of his opponents (excluding a No Contest against Dave Wilson) via submission before making his UFC debut, where he scored his own unanimous decision win over Rob Broughton at UFC 138.

(Video courtesy of RadioPlanet.tv/KRSP/Shade 45)

Anyone who ever complains about the growing number of MMA fanboys with URL’s and podcasts claiming to be journalists needs to listen to the clip above of two dudes, who are obvious fans of Floyd Mayweather, feeding the boxing champ softball questions. In fact, some of the questions aren’t actually questions at all, but at least we sort of get to hear what Floyd has to say about a few things.

One of the interviewers is a DJ by the name of “DJ Whoo Kid” and the other seems to be DJ WK’s hype man and FMJ’s biggest fan, given his numerous nuthugging statements like “Ortiz got exactly what he deserved after that headbutt.” He obviously wasn’t listening during the first half of the interview as he continually asks the exact same questions as Whoo Kid.

As a public service for those readers who can’t (or won’t) sit through the interview, check out the key points after the jump.

(Props: UnivisionNews1)

Usually we only bring up boxing when it involves Floyd Mayweather Jr. getting arrested or sued or talking shit about MMA. But we wanted to pass along Oscar De La Hoya‘s bombshell new interview with Univision, in which the boxing legend discusses the personal demons that have haunted him over the past few years. After entering treatment at the Betty Ford Center in May, De La Hoya is now three months’ sober, and in the process of rebuilding his life. Some highlights from the interview:

On his lowest point: ”Rock bottom was recently, within a couple of years. Just thinking, ‘Is my life was even worth it?’ I don’t have the strength, I don’t have the courage to take my own life, but I was thinking about it.”

On substance abuse: ”There were drugs. My drug of choice was cocaine and alcohol. Cocaine was recent, in the last two years, last two-and-a-half years. And I depended more on the alcohol than the cocaine. It took me to a place where I felt safe. It took me to a place where I felt like if nobody can say anything to me. It took me to a place where I can reach out and just grab my mom, who passed away when I was younger. I was dependent on those drugs.”

(“It took 47 seconds for your last sparring partner to piss his pants. Alistair, we can do better.”)

Tonight, Alistair Overeem will make his Strikeforce Heavyweight Tournament debut, fighting the man who already defeated him back in PRIDE, “Vai Cavalo” Fabricio Werdum. Overeem will step inside the Strikeforce cage as the K-1 2010 World Grand Prix Champion, DREAM Heavyweight Champion and of course Strikeforce Heavyweight Champion. One of the people standing behind the success of Alistair Overeem and other Team Golden Glory fighters is the coach Martijn “The Specialist” De Jong.

De Jong is a 2nd degree Black Belt in traditional Jiu-Jitsu, 1st degree Black Belt in Kyokushin Budokai and a 1st degree Black Belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. “The Specialist” is also a president of Shooto Europe, ADCC Europe and the CEO of the successful United Glory MMA promotion.

We had an opportunity to speak to the legendary coach about his expectations from Alistair Overeem this weekend, Team Golden Glory and the state of Mixed Martial Arts and Kickboxing in The Netherlands.

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(Nipmoua’s old poster design has become eerily prescient. Except for the ’200′ thing, obviously. I mean, do the math bro.)

In what’s expected to be an official announcement of the UFC’s return to Brazil in 2011, UFC president Dana White and Chairman/CEO Lorenzo Fertitta will be making a special announcement at Rio De Janeiro’s City Hall today at 11 a.m. ET, 2 p.m. local time. White and Fertitta will be joined by UFC Hall of Famer Royce Gracie, middleweight champion Anderson Silva, light-heavyweight champion Mauricio "Shogun" Rua, featherweight champion Jose Aldo, #1 middleweight contender Vitor Belfort, and Eduardo Paes, the mayor of Rio. You can watch the announcement live in the video player after the jump. 

(Bellator VII highlights, courtesy of YouTube.com/BellatorMMA)

Bellator‘s welterweight tournament finals were settled on Friday night in Chicago, as Lyman Good and Omar De La Cruz got their hands raised in the semis after dominant performances. Good increased his record to 9-0 with his whipping of Jorge Ortiz (highlights begin at the above video’s 4:15 mark), as he poured on an overwhelming barrage of strikes over two rounds until Ortiz’s face fell apart and the fight was stopped due to a cut. De La Cruz was just as aggressive in his fight with former UFC middleweight champ Dave Menne (see the vid’s 6:15 mark), throwing down some of hardest punches from the top that you will ever see in your life, before ending the fight with a lights-out right hook. Good and De La Cruz will meet in the welterweight finals on June 12th in Uncasville, Connecticut.

In non-tournament action, Kerry Vera won a thrilling three-rounder over Leslie Smith in her MMA debut (highlights begin at the video’s 1:28 mark), and UFC vet Eddie Sanchez scored the fastest knockout in Bellator history with his 10-second demolition of Jay White (skip to 3:39). Full event results and the complete video of the must-see Vera/Smith fight are after the jump…

(When you wake up with a bad hangover and the front page of The NY Times is emblazoned with photos like these of you, you know it’s about time for you to hit the Betty Ford Clinic.)

Fresh off of a recent stint in rehab, Oscar De La Hoya sat down for a cathartic interview on Univision’s “Aqui y Ahora” show this week in which the former boxing champ came clean on a number of things, including his alcohol and drug abuse, infidelity and the fact that the infamous photos of him in lingerie, fishnet stockings and high heels  were real.

The New York Times now reports today that the boxer and Siberian model, Milana Dravnel who took the cross-dressing photos and later sued De La Hoya for $100 million for making her out to be a liar and accusing her of digitally adding his face to the images reached an out of court settlement for $20 million. Court documents obtained by the newspaper show that one of the stipulations of the settlement, that bound both sides to a confidentiality agreement, was that the outfit De La Hoya wore in the photos be returned to “The Golden Boy.”

(Overeem is hoping to add the GP belt to his growing gold collection before the end of the year.)

When Strikeforce announced today that it was postponing the second half of the opening round bouts of its heavyweight grand prix tournament until June, critics quickly began hypothesizing that the promotion’s current heavyweight champion, Alistair Overeem would likely not sit out from competing elsewhere while the tournament brackets get sorted out.

According to Overeem’s trainer Martijn de Jong, “The Reem” will stay true to his proclamation that the grand prix is his number one priority this year and the K-1 and DREAM heavyweight champion will not fight for any other promotion until his tournament obligations are fulfilled, even if it takes all year.