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A Note To All Flyweights: Michael Bisping Can Make Fun of *You*, Not the Other Way Around


(Benavidez REALLY lets Bisping have it at the 4:05 mark. That is sarcasm, by the way.)

It used to simply surprise me each time someone raced to defend the actions of Michael Bisping after we had given him the public tongue-lashing he so rightfully deserved, be it for his coaching exploits, his insistence on insulting every middleweight he comes across, or his general dickishness when alcohol is involved. His supporters, whom I can only assume are as crass, doltish, and incoherent as the subject at hand, often label us “anti-British,” because clearly Bisping’s ancestry is at the forefront of our issues with the guy, not the relentless douchbaggery he displays at every conceivable opportunity. But over the years, I’ve come to realize that no matter how sound a given argument is, there will always be a minority rallying against it. It’s why Old Dad was recently lambasted by the readers over at MMAJunkie for declaring that Brock Lesnar and all 8 of his professional fights had not earned him a spot in the UFC Hall of Fame because he had helped the sport get some fans (bring it on, bitches!). And it’s undoubtedly why some of you — for God knows what reason — will always be quick to defend the hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni known as Count Bisping (seriously, BRING IT ON!).

Take his recent squabble with the UFC’s flyweight division, for instance. With no clear motivation (other than being billed below them at UFC 152), Bisping decided to launch into a diatribe aimed at the 125-pounders, declaring that “no one cares about little flyweights.” Bisping continued his attack at the UFC 152 press conference, where, when forced to deal with a response from Joseph Benavidez, stated that “when you were a glint in your dad’s eye, I was kicking ass in the UFC,” which makes sense because AGE IS DETERMINED BY HEIGHT AND WEIGHT AND THAT’S IT SHUT UP. Benavidez, along with most of us who can subtract 28 from 33, dismissed Bisping’s comments as “ridiculous” and moved on. However, when Benavidez was asked by teammate Urijah Faber in the “fighter diary” above if he thought he hit harder than Bisping, he nonchalantly declared that yes, he believed he did.

This was the kind of insolence that Bisping would simply not tolerate.

As is typically the case for shit-stirring fighters like Bisping, the TUF 3 winner truly cannot take it as well as he can dish it out. Bisping recently declared “Pepsi Challenge” war on Benavidez for his off-the-cuff remark, even going as far as to say that Benavidez had somehow started their whole verbal quarrel in the first place. He spoke with MMAJunkie radio:

That smug-faced little t— in a prepubescent boy’s body needs to shut the f— up because I’ll take the Pepsi Challenge with that short-ass any day of the week.

People are going to say that I’m talking crap, but he’s the one trying to start in with me. [Benavidez] needs to recognize his weight class because my 11-year-old boy will take care of him.

Those of us who maintain the ability to recall basic information from less than a month ago should see the main flaw in Bisping’s argument: He did in fact start it. He always starts it. It’s this kind of willful ignorance that makes you wonder if Bisping is suffering from a Leonard Shelby-esque syndrome where he convinces himself that each person he sees is really the man who fictitiously raped and killed his wife. Of course, an H-bomb as epic as the one he received could easily be responsible for such a condition, so perhaps we should stop making fun of Bisping’s shortcomings as a human being and start being concerned for his mental health. On second thought, fuck that.

And as is usually the case when arguing with a wall, Benavidez was short and to the point in his response, posting the following on his twitter:

Wow didn’t think a big, tough, secure guy like @bisping would get all butt hurt at my blog. Pretty funny.

It’s funny because Benavidez is saying the opposite of what he really means, something Bisping will surely overlook in his profanity-filled response.

-J. Jones

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ArmFarmer- September 18, 2012 at 9:59 am
@shatterproof That might be a valid comparison, if talking shit to the two most dominant fighers in the sport at and above your weight class that also happen to be arrogant dickheads themselves.. and that you're also more than willing to fight.. were equivalent to shit talking an entire division that's 60lb lighter than yours. @jjrdias, be careful running your mouth so much.. don't want to scrape bispings balls with your teeth. I don't think he'd appreciate that from his number one fluffer er i mean fan.
MyDonkeyPunch- September 18, 2012 at 6:44 am
Did Michael Bisping just post?
jjrdias- September 18, 2012 at 5:09 am
Hey, at least us Bisping supporters aren't underpaid freelance writers - i use that term loosely, given your drivel-laden, pseudo-humorous and cliché-ridden scribbles - desperately trying to make ends meet, and struggling to pay the bills.
How's that for incoherent, sonny? I'd tell you to get off your high-horse, but we both know you're too broke to own one.
I think you should just quit before they crack down on welfare.
RED_COAT- September 20, 2012 at 4:12 am
cagepotato have frozen the thumbs up button on your comment.
fatbellyfrank- September 17, 2012 at 11:37 pm
Is it true that when you pronounce his nickname "The Count" you must remember the O is silent
smiledriver- September 17, 2012 at 9:45 pm
I love the term "butt hurt."
Mr_Misanthropy- September 17, 2012 at 6:02 pm
Joseph Benevidez is a roll model to all little people. He is a giant amongst midgets.

(I think Bisping is possibly just a mental midget.)
Fried Taco- September 17, 2012 at 4:33 pm
Wait, so which is it? Bisping is really good at telling Coke from Pepsi just by tasting it? Or he is a really good skier?
RaginAsian- September 17, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Real talk, the last time Bisping brought his son into the cage post-fight, he was looking pretty limp-wristed. Misplaced anger, perhaps?
Alan K- September 17, 2012 at 3:30 pm
That video ended right before the foreplay started.
shatterproof- September 17, 2012 at 3:19 pm
Rule #1 for CP contributors: When Sonnen talks shit he gets a phonetic handjob lolols.
Rule #2 for CP contributors: Fuck Bisping.

Move along -- the rules are the rules.
CrackMasterVanSnap- September 17, 2012 at 2:49 pm
I think someone pissed in Bisping's Wheaties. WTF is his problem lately? He's be ragging on anyone who isn't named Michael Bisping. Maybe it's that time of the month.
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