(VidProps: YouTube/ZPsBackUp)

Tim Sylvia showed up at Titan Fighting Championships on Friday night looking very much like a 311-pound man who knew he had to get this over with in a hurry. Unfortunately for the rotund former UFC champ, Abe Wagner had the same idea. Both guys came out of their corners throwing heavy leather and it was Wagner – a +355 underdog despite appearing to have trained at least one day for this bout – who got to Sylvia first. He clipped the “Maine-iac” with a right hand above the eye in the early going and drove him across the cage flurrying punches (that mostly missed) before Sylvia ran out of real estate on the other side. There he was felled like a giant, flabby redwood by a left to the jaw and another right. When referee Jason Herzog jumped in to call a stop to the action, then hesitated, Wagner responded exactly as a fighter should in that circumstance: He walked away and started celebrating, creating such an awkward situation that Herzog had no choice but to wave things off.

Sylvia tried to protest the stoppage, but you could tell he was on wobbly legs. And not just because they were covered in cellulite, either.  The end came in just 32 seconds which – to answer Michael Schiavello and Frank Trigg’s question – is four seconds fewer than it took Fedor to topple Sylvia. The current part-time cop said prior to this bout that he believes police work will “help fill the void” when the time comes for him to retire from MMA. That time may be now. Fill the void, Tim. Fill it with something besides ice cream sandwiches.