sloths funny photos album covers
Iconic Album Covers Replaced With Sloths

ADCC 2011 Results: Lister, Magalhaes, Galvao, and Kyra Gracie Take Home Gold in Respective Divisions

(As if I needed an excuse to use this photo.)

For those of you who were too busy watching Jon Jones outgun Rampage Jackson to retain his light heavyweight title or Ben Rothwell fall to 0-1 at the hands of Mark Hunt this weekend, you may have overlooked the ADCC Submission Wrestling World Championships, which transpired in Nottingham, England of all places.

Andre Galvao easily had the best night of the bunch, taking gold in both the Under 88kg and Absolute tournaments, defeating Rousimar Palhares and Pablo Papovitch, respectively. Speaking of “Paul Harris”, he continued to prove that his mind is a fragile, ticking time bomb in his submission victory over David Avellan in their quarterfinal match. Things began to go off the rails when Palhares dove for his signature heel-hook-of-death on Avellan, and continued to crank it after the two rolled out of bounds and the referee yelled for a restart. I’ll let David’s brother Marcos, via his Facebook, explain the rest after the jump:

It was a weird situation right after… Palharas started to celebrate, thinking the match was over, and came over to hug my brother, but as he hugged my brother, he slapped him across the head really hard. So one arm went out for a hug, the other went for a slap on the head (lol). My brother was naturally pissed by the heel hook and the slap.

Palharas seemed genuinely confused, both about his cranking after the ref said stop and by the rejection of his post fight “hug”. I think he was sincerely genuine, I just think he is crazy, like bi-polar or something.

After the restart, Palhares went on to quickly kneebar Avellan, possibly injuring him. And if you aren’t yet convinced that Palhares is a danger to sound minded people across the globe, the oddities continued in his finals match against Andre Galvao, when he was accused of trying to wrench Galvao’s thumb in order to avoid a hold. Personally, I’ve had about enough of this guy’s apparent ignorance to all things legal and holy. He’s like a T-1000 with the brain of Corky from Life Goes On, sent from some horrific future in which appendages are the last form of human resistance.

In other news, Dean Lister made an improbable run to secure the Under 99kg title, finishing Xande Ribeiro and Jaoa Assis with successive leglocks to claim gold. Lister’s age and lack of recent competition had all but killed his chances before the tournament even began, so big ups to “The Boogeyman” for his win. In the Over 99kg finals, former TUF 8 finalist Vinny Magalhaes survived a last minute armbar attempt by Fabricio Werdum to secure a victory on points, besting his two previous bronze medal efforts in the 2009 ADCC Championships.

In the women’s Under 60 kg tournament, Kyra Gracie secured her third ADCC title with a beautiful omaplota/rear naked choke hybrid finish of Michelle Nicolini. The win adds to Kyra’s incredible list of credentials, which includes four World BJJ Championships, five Pan American, Brazilian, and New York State Championships, and one Asiatic BJJ Championship. Damn, girl.

The bad luck streak continued for former Strikeforce Middleweight and 2009 ADCC Superfight Champion Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza, who was routed in a tentative 3-0 loss on points to 2009 ADCC double gold winner Braulio Estima. Full results for the event can be found here

-Danga

Cagepotato Comments

Showing 1-25 of comments

comments
Sort by : Show hidden comments
jaikin5- September 26, 2011 at 4:50 pm
TOP SEX films that you will like them very much,free shippin in http://url7.me/6ph4
macreadysshack- September 26, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Goddamn it yes a triangle.
macreadysshack- September 26, 2011 at 3:47 pm
And what sweet sleep it would be, Taco.
.
Paul Harris seems closer to multiple personality disorder/schizophrenia than bipolar to me. His reality is, well . . . different than ours. It's probably better, lucky bastard.
.
Thanks for the ups, Karma!
Jugger- September 26, 2011 at 10:49 am
So, Palhares is the nice guy who hands out post-fight hugs and smiles, and Paul Harris is the rule-breaking jackass that tries to end people's careers by cranking subs after the stoppage?
ArmFarmer- September 26, 2011 at 10:38 am
I also like the "where appendages are the last form of human resistance" line, pretty funny.
ExpectJesusBro- September 26, 2011 at 10:06 am
I'D MOTORBOAT HER. ANYWHERE.
El Famous Burrito- September 26, 2011 at 10:03 am
That's no man, 'tis a remorseless, leg-breaking machine. Arr.
KeithHackneyWindmillPalmStrike- September 26, 2011 at 10:01 am
'He’s like a T-1000 with the brain of Corky from Life Goes On, sent from some horrific future in which appendages are the last form of human resistance.'

Haha....awesome, but seriously, what the fuck is wrong that guy? Is there such a thing as bi-polar down syndrome?
RwilsonR- September 26, 2011 at 9:54 am
And good for Dean. I've rarely seen a more brilliant grappler when Lister is on, but the problem is he is inconsistent. Good to see him back in there, and a win over Xande is impressive.
RwilsonR- September 26, 2011 at 9:53 am
Nobody tries to make a tiger into a pussy cat, or they quickly find the tiger's jaws wrapped around their effeminate neck on a Las Vegas stage.
Nobody tries to tame a wild chimp and make it a household pet unless they want their fingers bitten off and their face torn from their skull.
Why does anyone expect any different from a Manbearverine? Sure you can shave Palhares, dress him up, and for awhile he may even play the part of a normal person. But you're just biding time until the Manbearverine comes out and rips your ankle off while a ref is desperately trying to pry him off.
Fried Taco- September 26, 2011 at 9:44 am
I just wish the world would stop trying to change Paul Harris' reality. And macreadyshack, I think Kyra will put you to sleep before you could even touch her titties. The best you could hope for is that she does it with a triangle!
.
Danga did forget to mention Gabi Garcia winning women's +60kg division by Enormous Size Difference.
KarmaAteMyCat- September 26, 2011 at 9:38 am
Well written article Danga I enjoyed it. I normally follow all the submissions tournaments that are at this level. Well done sir... \
@Macreadysshack
-
Hate starts after this!!!
macreadysshack- September 26, 2011 at 9:17 am
I wish Danga would never write another article. Oh, wait, that's not me. Sorry, I'm just so used to seeing that, I thought I'd get it over with.
.
Personal vendettas aside, Paul Harris is Paulo Filho nuts. He's actually worse, as I believe Paulo needs drugs to be crazy and I suspect Mr. Harris could use some drugs NOT to be crazy.
.
I hereby challenge Kyra Gracie to a No Gi, in fact a no ANYTHING, grappling match and she's a great big loser if she doesn't step up.
.
And . . . good article Danga. Haters start . . . NOW!
CagePotatoMMA