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Affliction is Mad, Randy Couture is Confused

(When you’re a jerk to the guy with the cute puppy, you always come out looking like the bad guy.)

You’d think Affliction wouldn’t take Randy Couture‘s return to the UFC personally. For one, they never signed him. For another, it had gotten to the point where it looked like Couture’s choices were between making up with Dana White or spending what little remains of his fighting shelf life in legal battles. But apparently there are those in Affliction, namely co-owner Todd Beard, who are pretty pissed off about the whole scenario.

Appearing on the Scott Ferrall radio show (you remember him, the “crackhead-looking motherfucker” Dana White used to pay to cover UFC events?) Beard reportedly said, “Randy, if you’re listening right now, I hope (expletive) Lesnar kills you.”

Which seems, you know, uncalled for. Even Couture can’t make much sense of the outburst:

“I really don’t understand where Todd Beard’s coming from in his attack to me, my wife, and my attorney, and now the Ferttitas and Lorenzo specifically, and Dana White. I don’t understand it,” stated Couture. “He feels there’s this adversarial relationship created and I just don’t get it. It’s gone beyond kind of the antics of being a promoter, so we’ll see how all that unfolds, and where the relationship stands, and where we end up with that down the road.”

So Affliction really wants Couture to rep them with his Xtreme Couture gear, so much so that they had talks with the UFC about it, which also ended with Todd Beard swearing at someone, but antics like this certainly aren’t helping things. Looks like Affliction needs to get their boy under control, or we may have seen the last of Couture sporting the skulls and chains.

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MeatHookJones- October 30, 2008 at 2:44 pm
i apologize for my angry outbursts...i am a closet i'm gonna take a midol, stick a kotex in my pisshole, and be nice to everyone...
need2punchsome1- October 30, 2008 at 6:29 am
If anyone has actually seen Todd Beard then they might understand where his attitude and poor choice of comments are coming from.

If anyone is interested, then google his name and you can find at least 1 or 2 pics of the even more crackhead-looking mother_____ than Ferral is... he's pathetic

I'm no Dana fan by any means, but this bony looking tattoo freak seriously needs to run into Randy and or Dana face to face one day .. when no one is looking, if you know what I mean.
Jay Smith- October 30, 2008 at 2:18 am
Get off my meat hook, MeatHook! Don't be a little bitch about it. Get back to posting your boring, misspelled, thoughtless, fact-less, idiotic, thoughts so, we can get our usual laughs when we see that gay ass nickname of yours.
Flyin Hawaiian- October 30, 2008 at 2:16 am
@ Anonymous
Shut the fuck up....
Anonymous- October 30, 2008 at 12:44 am
actually apparently i still dont, someone informed me (and called me a retard at the same time, thx!) that i dont know what the fuck i am talking about. excuse me.
Anonymous- October 30, 2008 at 12:42 am

i had no idea who the fuck you were talking about till i clicked that link.
MeatHookJones- October 29, 2008 at 8:55 pm
@Jay Smith

"Why can’t you just post your opinion about the caption or story, and stop attacking other MMA fans for their opinion.
Damn…… about douchebags."

Good question. So shut the fuck up!
Imbecile- October 29, 2008 at 8:45 pm
@ Jugger

Yeah, I am still trying to figure out the full details of this theory, but what I do know is that it exists. However, like Mayhem420 rightly pointed out, I certainly do ramble on, and so sometimes my theories can turn into more of a stream-of-consciousness kind of thing.

In thinking about your query, you bring up some excellent issues. I'm not sure it is so much a balance of positive and negative, as positive and negative would simply attract each other. It isn't so much an attraction as it is a necessary interraction. Perhaps it is more akin to of adding fuel to a fire, and douchebaggery is the fuel on which Dana White's fire burns.

That may help to explain something you referenced, in why a pre-lawsuit Couture was, in fact, not necessary to counter-balance all of the douche-baggery. We all thought that Couture had reached his height as Captain America, pre-lawsuit. He seemed like the perfect opposite, and when we first heard of his "resignation," the prevailing idea was that his leaving would mess up this balance. It was thought it would be like removing the keystone in the UFC's archway, and they would collapse. But this was mistaken, and proved that Couture's good-guy balance was only an illusion. Couture's fall from grace and his entrance into the world of being a douchebag only served to help the UFC and himself through the process. In two weeks, both will emerge bigger than ever because of this feud, only showing that it did feed DW's fire.

Either way, I just know that Dana White, the UFC, and MMA as a whole can't keep up continued growth if there is a douchebag vacuum opposite them. They certainly feed off of having a douchebag of a near-equal level, and we all are the better for it. Luckily, there have been lots of willing and able douchebags to fill this void, and Todd Beard seems the next in line in.
Jay Smith- October 29, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Nothing to say about this particular story. I'm interested in the fighters and the fights, not the douchebags.
Touche bro.........
jdavis- October 29, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Just a week ago no one even cared that they didn't know who Todd Beard was now he's jumped to "wasn't he the drummer for ZZ Top?", it's a promotional coup for Todd Beard. Give him another week or two and he may get to "Isn't that the other Affliction goofball?" Way to go Todd Beard!
Jugger- October 29, 2008 at 6:24 pm

I think you may be on to something. However, I'm struggling to wrap my brain around your theory...

You see, negative cannot be counterbalanced by another negative. Yang is not completed by another Yang. Yang must have Yin. Wouldn't a universe which had a negative spectrum of douchebaggery need something like a pre-lawsuit Couture figure to bring balance?

Good call on Ryan Seacrest... I mean, Jerry Millen, though. Dang, I almost forgot about d-bag. Great post. Exactly why I CP is at the to of my MMAFavorites List.
NealTaflinger- October 29, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Beard should spend more time announcing events and less time talking shit about Couture.
Anonymous- October 29, 2008 at 6:13 pm
wat kinda dog is that holy crap
bryan- October 29, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Damn that is a cute puppy. What is it - a Shiba Inu?
MeatHookJones- October 29, 2008 at 6:05 pm
@Jay Smith

Sorry to hurt your feelings, I sincerely apologize. But maybe you could help me out and clarify you're opinion of the caption or story you were trying to convey there?
Bringbackbabalu- October 29, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Is that a Shiba Inu? That dog is so cool looking, I almost got one myself. Looks like one for sure, cute little Japanese dog. I guess if Handy picked such a cool dog I can't hate him anymore-
mayhem420- October 29, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Love you rambling posts.... they always have a point to them.
Kinda like an old 80's cartoon... they always had a moral to them... it might have been hidden but it was there. Good Job!
Jay Smith- October 29, 2008 at 5:48 pm
@ MeatHookJones
His posting name was Imbecile which, fits you to a tee for mis-reading the name, and then attacking him and calling him "Impecable". Do you know what the two words mean?
I've seen you on this site attacking other peoples comments quite a few times. I'm the one who told you to take your bitch ass back to the gay porn sites. Why can't you just post your opinion about the caption or story, and stop attacking other MMA fans for their opinion. about douchebags.
Higgz- October 29, 2008 at 5:40 pm
First of all, I doubt we've seen Randy in an ugly shirt with skulls for the last time. Have you seen the other clothing lines? They all do that.

Secondly, it's like Todd Beard is being a jerk on purpose as if he's discovered the secret key to the UFC's success: Black Lists & Smack Talk!
MeatHookJones- October 29, 2008 at 5:23 pm

Realy long..... but well said

I also feel like maybe you should start a rival MMA organizatiion to the UFC because you could probably be enough of a d-bag to offset this whole scenario for years to come.
Imbecile- October 29, 2008 at 5:12 pm
It is just simple science everyone. Whether you want to look at it from a physics standpoint, an economics standpoint, or any other view of the situation, you can only come to one conclusion with why Todd Beard is making these statements. There was a serious douchebag void left when EliteXC folded up into nothingness last week, and Todd Beard has risen to fill that vacuum. It is the only logical explanation.

You see, MMA has always needed a douchebag force to counter-balance the supreme force that is Dana White. This douchebag:Dana White balance has always been necessary for the sport to grow, and the Dana White's strength, and by association MMA's strength, grows in direct proportion to the douchebag counter-balancing them. Every time one douchebag leaves the scene, another must quickly come in to fill the vacuum, or who knows what the results for MMA will be.

This concept was first observed in the douchebag:Dana White balance that occurred with Tito Ortiz. I'm sure this balance started much earlier, but its effects may not have been readily observable at the beginning, probably because of a lack of a huge douchebag to help drive Dana White and the UFC to greater heights. The larger the douchebag, the larger the success of MMA. However, this concept was first easily observed with Tito Ortiz and his conflict with The Man.

When Tito's douchebag star began to fade a bit, and he actually tried to become the nice guy on TUF, it started to leave a void in this important balance. Some executives at Pride tried to fill the void - guys like Jerry Millen, Ed Fishman, and others - but looking back on it, in their heart of hearts, I think even they knew they weren't up to the task of filling this void.

No, that task fell to Gary Shaw. With his humpty-dumpty physique, slicked back gray mullet, and track suit from the seventies, Gary Shaw brought with him into MMA all the douchebaggery that had been killing boxing for years, and he was able to not only the void, but to expand the overall power between the Dana White:Douchebag balance that is so critical to MMA's success.

That wasn't meant to last, however, when even Gary Shaw, in all his hyperbole and sleaze, couldn't stand up to even stronger forces from CBS and the viewing public, he too was forced out of this balancing role and left another douchebag vacuum in his wake. Only the disgusting offsrping of such a man would do to fill the void this time, and $kala had more than enough douchebag in his genes to fit the role.

But when Jared '$kala' Shaw collapsed along with the rest of EliteXC, who would step up? Would this break in the balance lead to MMA's destruction? Who had enough douchebag in them to counter-balance Dana White and restore order to the situation? Sure, Tom Atencio is there. He looks and acts a little gay, he says a lot of strange things that may or may not happen, and throws out an occasional insult or two. But he really doesn't fill in for the massive void left by the Shaws...

Enter Todd Beard. Though the observable evidence may not wholly be there to support this theory, it seems Todd Beard may have just enough douchebag in him to restore balance and save the world of MMA. And he seems to have even drawn other forces to help Dana White keep up his side of the balance, as Beard is now going after Lorenzo Fertitta and Randy Couture to stand athwart his douchebaggery.

Only time will tell where this leads, but it is looking like Todd Beard is certainly the next in a long line of douchebags, and for that we should all be thankful. Otherwise, who would we have hate for to balance out the hate for Dana White and fuel the growth of MMA?
Anonymous- October 29, 2008 at 5:12 pm
MeatHookJones- October 29, 2008 at 4:46 pm
The more they talk to anybody it just seems like they are doomed to meet the same fate as EXC. Although there fighter roster is very impressive (at least in the HW division), there upper management seems to have no idea hoe to run a succesful MMA promotions company financialy, or respectfuly in respect to there figjters or competition. What they need to understand is you don't want to trash talk a guy like DW if you want to get ahead in this business, some people may think he's a fucking huge d-bag but he is nothing if not a huge juggernaut of a d-bag in the MMA community. Aside from having good matchups with big names these guys are going to fuck up every other aspect of there organization.
Geriatric Peon- October 29, 2008 at 4:33 pm
The more Affliction talks to the press............ or anyone really, the more they come across as bigger D-bags than da White man and that is a tough thing to accomplish anymore.