
(When you want to get rid of a bunch of cash in a hurry, but don’t want to deal with the smoky mess that comes along with literally burning it, nothing beats starting up your own MMA organization.)
After rumors spread that Affliction III might possibly try to counter-program UFC 100 on July 11, Affliction’s Tom Atencio is now publicly disavowing any intention to go out kamikaze-style in a blaze of bitterly self-destructive glory. Atencio said earlier reports that he might try and get his third event on free TV the same night as the UFC’s historic event were nonsense, adding: “In my eyes, it’s not even a possibility. It doesn’t make sense."
That’s true, Tom. It doesn’t make sense. But neither does paying Tim Sylvia $800,000, or even bothering to put on a third show if the main event won’t be Fedor Emelianenko vs. Josh Barnett. So when will the third Affliction event happen, assuming there is one? Atencio basically admits that he has no idea, which is hardly surprising.
But wait a minute, what if this is all a clever ploy? What if Atencio has figured out that every time he announces an event the UFC finds some way to screw with him? Maybe this time he’s going to outsmart them. He won’t even announce when Affliction III is. It will just happen in the middle of the night on a Tuesday. No prior warning at all. Even the fighters won’t know where or when it will be. They’ll be taken from their homes, blindfolded, and then dropped off at the arena an hour before fight time. Imagine what a fool Dana White will feel like when he wakes up the next morning and realizes he’s been outfoxed by the t-shirt guy.
You tricky devil, Tom Atencio. We never knew you had it in you.


CAPS LOCK HAL WANNA B’S. YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF. YOU ONLY WISH YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS WERE ME. FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID ASS COCK SUCKERS.