(Props: Cage Writer)

Things haven’t exactly panned out for Affliction in the MMA promoting business.  They’re closing in on their third show in a little over a year’s time and they have yet to figure out how to gets fans in the arena without paying ridiculous fighter salaries that almost guarantee they’ll take a loss on the event.  So what do they do to improve the old bottom line?  They go back to what they know best: gaudy, overpriced t-shirts. 

But apparently Affliction feels they’ve accomplished all they can in the field of pro fighting, and they’re now moving on to the NFL.  What you see above there is the Washington Redskins “Affliction Warrior tee.”  Yes, they are seriously trying to sell that for $31.99.  And yes, we realize that’s actually a price cut for Affliction gear.  Are NFL Affliction t-shirts bound to be the next big thing in pro football sports apparel?  We’re going to go out on a limb here and say no.  Here are three good reasons why:

1) When it comes to team sports like pro football, the two most popular design elements are team colors and team logos.  This Redskins shirt has neither that you can spot at first glance.  You have to look really hard just to tell that that’s a Redskins helmet on there.  And once you’ve looked that hard and realized that all you’re looking at is a Redskins helmet, you’re bound to be disappointed.

2) One of the calling cards of the Affliction style is uniformity.  All the shirts are basically the same, perhaps exchanging a skull for a religious image here and there, and with a variable amount of wings and/or chains.  The last thing NFL fans want is a shirt that, at first glance, can be mistaken for any other team’s shirt.  Imagine you’re a Chargers fan and have no way of differentiating yourself from a Texans fan.  Depressing, right?

3) Sports fans generally go for attire that helps them identify with their favorite athletes.  This works to Affliction’s advantage in MMA, where they’ve managed to pay fighters enough to wear their clothes during their entrances and post-fight interviews, but it’s not going to fly with the NFL crowd.  Those people wants authentic team jerseys with their favorite player’s name on the back.  They don’t want a shirt just because a player might possibly wear it to a nightclub with three coked out chicks, one of whom will inevitably spill her grape martini all over the thing.

That said, if you’ve managed to read this far and still think you want that Redskins t-shirt, go for it.  Instead of making fun of you like we normally would, we applaud you instead.  For it is only you, undiscerning American consumer, who will finally pull us out of this recession with your ill-advised, free-spending ways.  Go ‘head and put it on your credit card too.   You deserve it.