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And In Shocking News: Josh Koscheck Injured, Out of UFC 151 Co-Main

Josh Koscheck Liddell Velasquez Fitch sugar factory lollipops
(What is it with these guys and the creepy group photos?) 

If you are at all familiar with how WordPress (the program that powers this site) works, then you know that there is a seemingly limitless number of categories and options to select when drafting up a given post. One of them, titled “Post Type”, provides several pre-selected categories for us to choose from when determining the content and article type of said post. However, when I attempted to select “Injury” for the umpteenth time this morning, WordPress would simply not allow it. “I’m sorry, Jared, I’m afraid I can’t do that,” it uttered (yes, our WordPress is self-aware). And before I knew it, my computer sprouted legs, shoved me aside, and walked out of my life forever.

What I’m getting at is, the injury curse of summer 2012 has gotten so frustrating that it is even beginning to affect the non-emotive machines, forcing me to relocate from my two bedroom brownstone to the dismal public library at which I now reside. The floor smells like piss here, and I’m pretty sure a homeless man is masturbating at a computer not ten feet away from me. Either that, or he is a big UFC fan who also just learned that Josh Koscheck has been forced to withdraw from his UFC 151 co-main event matchup with “Jake Ingleburger”, and is taking his disappointment out on his junk. In either case, this is getting hard to watch.

The announcement of Koscheck’s withdrawal was announced on UFC Tonight’s twitter account, which claimed:

#Breaking@joshkoscheck has bulging disc in his back. He’s out of #UFC151. No new opponent for @EllenbergerMMA 

So there’s that. I suppose I could go into a little more detail, but I’ve become more familiar with these injury reports than a child in Darfur has to hunger. And like that starving child that you could save for only 30 cents a day, I’ve simply grown to accept it. Nothing more, nothing less.

So, Potato Nation, is this just another injury amidst a summer of injuries, or a bit of karma for Koscheck’s anti-AKA death threats? And who would you like to see Ellenberger face in Koscheck’s absence?

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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mma-ch- August 9, 2012 at 5:51 am
So what's Chucks hand ond Koscheck hip thing now. And that Lollypop on Velasquez mouth...
rockhuddy- August 8, 2012 at 8:43 pm
What's with Chuck's ultra-gay blouse?
Mr_Misanthropy- August 8, 2012 at 11:46 am
This photo doesn't surprise me. That's Josh Koscheck for you- hangin' outside candy stores and Chuck E. Cheeses in his windowless van.

I'll bet his other ride is an El Camino with a swing set in the back and a jumbo bag of gummi bears in the glove box.
shatterproof- August 8, 2012 at 10:56 am
Soooo... Koscheck wears his cup out in public? Makes sense, who doesn't want to knock those nuts and prevent him from breeding if given the opportunity.
Viva Hate- August 8, 2012 at 10:23 am
Wouldn’t it be nice if Kos got stuck with a male nurse who had heard his comments about the profession and decided to have a little fun with a catheter?
Clemmie- August 8, 2012 at 10:05 am
@alt, karma is a bitch.

.........And that whole eye poke thingy would be totally ironic.
J.Jones- August 8, 2012 at 8:56 am
We can always dream, angry feet.
angry little feet- August 8, 2012 at 8:50 am
Bulging disk huh? Damn. I was hoping somebody poked him in the eye with a beach umbrella.