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And Today’s UFC 149 Injury Victim Is…

An artist's depiction of UFC 149
(These UFC 149 posters may be getting a little grim, but at least their marketing department is being honest for once.) 

*Sigh*

At this point, UFC 149 is kind of like my dog, Zeus. You see, Zeus is one old-ass beagle, whose wrinkled, saggy countenance most closely resembles a wet bag of laundry or an old wicker chair dipped in mayonnaise. Zeus is so old, in fact, that he often trips over his testicles when shuffling his way across the room for a drink of water, or to bark at the ice cream truck as it makes its rounds. But just a few years ago, Zeus was a prime specimen, a real Westminster worthy creature. And as sad as it is to watch him basically devolve from Earl to Baby Sinclair, if you will, I have neither the heart nor the desire to place his fate in my hands and simply put him out of his misery. Plus, who in their right mind would deprive themselves of the endless entertainment that a dog tripping over it’s own testicles provides?

But where I am weak, the UFC brass needs to be strong. If they do not cancel UFC 149 right here and now and give the swindled saps who actually purchased a ticket to this event a full refund, then something terrible is going to happen. I can feel it, like Devon Sawa could feel that Volée Airlines Flight 180 was going to explode, or people with bum knees can feel when it’s going to rain. First it was Sexyama. Then it was SilvaThen Koch. Then Aldo. Then Bisping and even Big Nog. And now, it is being reported that George Roop has been forced to withdraw from his scheduled contest with Antonio Carvalho.

Although this latest injury may not be as significant as the rest, it is just another one of the legs being chopped out from underneath what will go down as one of the most cursed MMA events of all time.

I may not be a man of religion, but I think that someone, or something, is trying to give the UFC a hint: cancel the show, of suffer the unrepentant wrath of a vengeful God. If the UFC continues with its insolence and actually allows for this event to take place, I predict that no less than 8,000 people will be killed during the PPV broadcast, be it by a roof collapse, an electrical malfunction, or a freak tap dancing accident.

Roop was likely fighting for his UFC career against Carvalho, having dropped three of his last four fights in the promotion and most recently getting KTFO by Cub Swanson at UFC on FOX 2. Carvalho will also be looking to rebound from defeat against Daniel Pineda, who will be stepping in for Roop, as he suffered a unanimous decision defeat at the hands of Felipe Arantes in his UFC debut back at UFC 142. Pineda most recently saw his nine fight win streak snapped at UFC 146, where he dropped a unanimous decision of his own to former WEC featherweight champion Mike Brown in his probable retirement bout.

Who ya got?

-J. Jones

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Mr_Misanthropy- June 26, 2012 at 10:50 pm
The comments section sounds worse than the local obstetrics ward these days.
The12ozCurls- June 26, 2012 at 10:14 pm
Just move the Faber VS Barao fight to the UFC on FOX 4 headliner and put UFC 149 out like Old Yeller (as in - put that shit on FX or Fuel). Problem solved.
Your welcome Joe Silva and Uncle Dana
paperplane- June 26, 2012 at 8:00 pm
Had me worried. Until I read George roop. Really?
PingPong- June 26, 2012 at 6:28 pm
@shatterproof, well plated sir(not a typo)

And yes the Bosch was nice touch. You guys hit so many singles now.

Only WWTDD.Com has fallen faster and harder.

And and @J Jones, the classic "you think you could do better, go ahead and try" really?, you're better that that(I automatically assume). I used to give that excuse when I was a surgeon.
Edith Christ- June 26, 2012 at 4:51 pm
Holding out for a hero.
Pen Fifteen- June 26, 2012 at 3:37 pm
You guys really need to find a way to consolidate injury updates. If I want late-breaking news rendered in a boring fashion, I'll check Sherdog or MMAjunkie. While the painting here was well played, half the stories this summer have been about injuries, most of them to fighters about whom I could give two shits. Does it really matter who replaces George Roop in an undercard clash to see who the UFC's 17th best flyweight is? Maybe it's also because I'm poor, but it's hard to feel compelled to buy more than one or two UFCs a year given how anonymous and interchangeable 3/4 of fighters on any given card seem.
shatterproof- June 26, 2012 at 3:11 pm
Burying the lead behind 1 paragraph, 6 sentences, 13 commas... the real injury here is to my time, fellas. Just sayin.
J.Jones- June 26, 2012 at 3:36 pm
And to think, you probably would have cured cancer in those three minutes. Just sayin.
Fried Taco- June 26, 2012 at 2:56 pm
A list of other tragedies that occurred on July 21st:

1846: Mormons found 1st English settlement in California (San Joaquin Valley)
1861: 1st major battle of Civil War ends (Bull Run), Va-South wins
1866: Cholera-epidemic kills hundreds in London
1880: Compressed air accident kills 20 workers on Hudson River tunnel, New York
1919: Dirigible crashes through bank skylight killing 13 (Chicago, Ill)
1925: Monkey Trial ends-John Scopes found guilty of teaching Darwinism
1941: Himmler orders building of Majdanek concentration camp
1942: 8 die as coal waste heap slides in river valley near Oakwood, Virginia
1945: Detroit Tigers and Philadelphia A's play 24 inning 1-1 tie
1952: 7.8 earthquake shakes Kern County California, 14 killed
1960: In Sri Lanka (then Ceylon) Sirima Bandaranaike is world's 1st woman PM
1969: Neil Armstrong steps on Moon at 2:56:15 AM, GMT
1972: In New York, 57 murders occur in 24 hours
1971: U.S. performs nuclear Test at Nevada Test Site
1972: Bloody Friday: 22 IRA-bombs explode in Belfast
1972: 2 passenger trains collide head-on killing 76, Seville, Spain
1976: 1st outbreak of "Legionnaire's Disease" kills 29 in Philadelphia
1976: "Guys and Dolls" opens at Broadway Theater New York City for 239 performances
1983: Storm cuts short free Diana Ross concert in New York's Central Park
1984: 1st documented case of a robot killing a human in U.S
2008: Radovan Karadzic arrested on war crimes after a 12 year manhunt
2011: The U.S. heat wave has led to 24 deaths across the country
2012: Exactly 5 months before the end of the world, 29 UFC fans commit suicide after paying to watch UFC 149: The Accursed
Fried Taco- June 26, 2012 at 2:39 pm
Let's see if UFC 149 can top this:

http://www.brainyhistory.com/events/365/july_21_365_30196.html
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