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Anderson Silva Wants a Make-Up Fight “Immediately”


(It’s like he saw that Condom Depot ad and became enraged. I’ve never seen a man who hates birth control with such a ferocious passion.)

You bastards have done it now. You fans and media with your hate mail and hate articles, accusing Anderson Silva of conduct unbecoming a champion. Now he’s pissed. And Silva is not like your sister. He doesn’t turn to ice cream when he’s upset. He turns to awesomely destructive violence, and he would prefer to do it as soon as possible according to UFC president Dana White, who had this to say to the Las Vegas Review-Journal regarding the champ:

“He’s flipping out. He wants to fight again, like, on Nov. 15,” White said. “He’s (upset) about his performance and he wants to fight again immediately.”

Now that’s the attitude you want from your champ. Of course, it’s completely unreasonable to think the UFC could get him a worthy opponent in time for UFC 91, so don’t get too excited. But this might be the perfect time for creative matchmaking on the UFC’s part. Maybe they can’t get a top-level challenger, but could they get three mid-level guys? Middleweights, light heavyweights, anyone who needs a paycheck, really. How about if Silva faces Ed Herman, Houston Alexander, and an unemployed ninja all at once?

No, that’s still not fair. Okay, the ninja can use his throwing stars and Houston can use illegal knee strikes. Ed Herman, he has to show up drunk. Check that, he gets to show up drunk. This is one night he’s not going to want to remember.

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