Alright new guy...rapid fire here.

Cris Santos
Ben Fowlkes
Kimbo Slice

gotta fuck one, marry one and kill one. GO!

Hi Mike,


Did you bring a long wooden box?

"@ Martycone: Describe a time when you wasted ten minutes typing a heap of shit that everyone scrolled straight past?"


I actually read aboot half of it just to remind myself how much I hate most people.

GODDAMMIT! this is the second time i have been flagged as potential spam!
WTF

anyways......so mike can u grab me a beer please?

Hey n.Ben
just a quick one, if I travelled back in time and (nope, no I fucked your mother jokes) fought hand to hand combat with Ghandi, what do you think his weaknesses are and how could I exploit them.

p.s. Welcome to the most dysfunctional family you never wanted to be adopted by.

Mike, when you have an erection at an inappropriate time, how do you deal with it? Do you tuck it up in your waste band Superbad style, or just find the nearest men's room and take care of it?

.

@ Martycone: Describe a time when you wasted ten minutes typing a heap of shit that everyone scrolled straight past?

Hi Mike, all the best

mmmmmmmm poutine :)

OK I tried i really really tried to read all your questions marty but i think i suffered a mini stroke like chuck liddell did thats a fucking trip man i blacked out about half way through had a wierd dream about poutine and arm hair NOT a good combo dude dont ever do that again

Marty Cone (Cohen?), has welcomed you to murica IMO.

@ Marty ConeI really hope Mike picks your question. 

How would you describe yourself?
What specific goals, including those related to your occupation, have you established for your life?
How has your college experience prepared you for a business career?
Please describe the ideal job for you following graduation.
What influenced you to choose this career?
At what point did you choose this career?
What specific goals have you established for your career?
What will it take to attain your goals, and what steps have you taken toward attaining them?
What do you think it takes to be successful in this career?
How do you determine or evaluate success? Give me an example of one of your successful accomplishments.
Do you have the qualifications and personal characteristics necessary for success in your chosen career?
What has been your most rewarding accomplishment?
If you could do so, how would you plan your college career differently?
Are you more energized by working with data or by collaborating with other individuals?
How would you describe yourself in terms of your ability to work as a member of a team?
What motivates you to put forth your greatest effort?
Given the investment our company will make in hiring and training you, can you give us a reason to hire you?
Would you describe yourself as goal-driven?
Describe what you've accomplished toward reaching a recent goal for yourself.
What short-term goals and objectives have you established for yourself?
Can you describe your long-range goals and objectives?
What do you expect to be doing in five years?
What do you see yourself doing in ten years?
How would you evaluate your ability to deal with conflict?
Have you ever had difficulty with a supervisor or instructor? How did you resolve the conflict?
Tell me about a major problem you recently handled. Were you successful in resolving it?
Would you say that you can easily deal with high-pressure situations?
What quality or attribute do you feel will most contribute to your career success?
What personal weakness has caused you the greatest difficulty in school or on the job?
What were your reasons for selecting your college or university?
If you could change or improve anything about your college, what would it be?
How will the academic program and coursework you've taken benefit your career?
Which college classes or subjects did you like best? Why?
Are you the type of student for whom conducting independent research has been a positive experience?
Describe the type of professor that has created the most beneficial learning experience for you.
Do you think that your grades are a indication of your academic achievement?
What plans do you have for continued study? An advanced degree?
Before you can make a productive contribution to the company, what degree of training do you feel you will require?
Describe the characteristics of a successful manager.
Why did you decide to seek a position in this field?
Tell me what you know about our company.
Why did you decide to seek a position in this company?
Do you have a geographic preference?
Why do you think you might like to live in the community in which our company is located?
Would it be a problem for you to relocate?
To what extent would you be willing to travel for the job?
Which is more important to you, the job itself or your salary?
What level of compensation would it take to make you happy?
Tell me about the salary range you're seeking.
What are the most important rewards you expect to gain from your career?
How would you define "success" for someone in your chosen career?
What qualifications do you have that will make you successful in this company?
What skills have you acquired from your work experience?
What have you learned from your experiences outside the classroom or workplace?
What criteria are you using to choose companies to interview with?
If you were hiring for this position, what qualities would you look for?
How would you describe your leadership skills?
Which is more important: creativity or efficiency? Why?
How has college changed you as a person?
What have you accomplished that shows your initiative and willingness to work?
What was the toughest challenge you've ever faced?
What two or three things are most important to you in your job?
Some people work best as part of a group -- others prefer the role of individual contributor. How would you describe yourself?
When given an important assignment, how do you approach it?
If there were one area you've always wanted to improve upon, what would that be?
When you have been made aware of, or have discovered for yourself, a problem in your school or work performance, what was your course of action?
What kinds of things have you done at school or on the job that were beyond expectations?
What, in your opinion, are the key ingredients in guiding and maintaining successful business relationships?
What sorts of things have you done to become better qualified for your career?
Describe a situation in which you were able to use persuasion to successfully convince someone to see things your way?
Describe an instance when you had to think on your feet to extricate yourself from a difficult situation.
Give me a specific example of a time when you used good judgment and logic in solving a problem.
By providing examples, convince me that you can adapt to a wide variety of people, situations and environments.
Describe a time when you were faced with problems or stresses that tested your coping skills.
Give an example of a time in which you had to be relatively quick in coming to a decision.
Describe a time when you had to use your written communication skills to get an important point across.
Give me a specific occasion in which you conformed to a policy with which you did not agree.
Give me an example of an important goal which you had set in the past and tell me about your success in reaching it.
Describe the most significant or creative presentation that you have had to complete.
Tell me about a time when you had to go above and beyond the call of duty in order to get a job done.
Give me an example of a time when you were able to successfully communicate with another person even when that individual may not have personally liked you (or vice versa).
Sometimes it's easy to get in "over your head." Describe a situation where you had to request help or assistance on a project or assignment.
Give an example of how you applied knowledge from previous coursework to a project in another class.
Describe a situation where others you were working with on a project disagreed with your ideas. What did you do?
Describe a situation in which you found that your results were not up to your professor's or supervisor's expectations. What happened? What action did you take?
Tell of a time when you worked with a colleague who was not completing his or her share of the work. Who, if anyone, did you tell or talk to about it? Did the manager take any steps to correct your colleague? Did you agree or disagree with the manager's actions?
Describe a situation in which you had to arrive at a compromise or guide others to a compromise.
What steps do you follow to study a problem before making a decision.
We can sometimes identify a small problem and fix it before it becomes a major problem. Give an example(s) of how you have done this.
In a supervisory or group leader role, have you ever had to discipline or counsel an employee or group member? What was the nature of the discipline? What steps did you take? How did that make you feel? How did you prepare yourself?
Recall a time from your work experience when your manager or supervisor was unavailable and a problem arose. What was the nature of the problem? How did you handle that situation? How did that make you feel?
Recall a time when you were assigned what you considered to be a complex project. Specifically, what steps did you take to prepare for and finish the project? Were you happy with the outcome? What one step would you have done differently if given the chance?
What was the most complex assignment you have had? What was your role?
How was your transition from high school to college? Did you face any particular problems?
Tell of some situations in which you have had to adjust quickly to changes over which you had no control. What was the impact of the change on you?
Compare and contrast the times when you did work which was above the standard with times your work was below the standard.
Describe some times when you were not very satisfied or pleased with your performance. What did you do about it?
What are your standards of success in school? What have you done to meet these standards?
How have you differed from your professors in evaluating your performance? How did you handle the situation?
Give examples of your experiences at school or in a job that were satisfying. Give examples of your experiences that were dissatisfying.
What kind of supervisor do you work best for? Provide examples.
Describe some projects or ideas (not necessarily your own) that were implemented, or carried out successfully primarily because of your efforts.
Describe a situation that required a number of things to be done at the same time. How did you handle it? What was the result?
Have you found any ways to make school or a job easier or more rewarding or to make yourself more effective?
How do you determine priorities in scheduling your time? Give examples.
Tell of a time when your active listening skills really paid off for you -- maybe a time when other people missed the key idea being expressed.
What has been your experience in giving presentations? What has been your most successful experience in speech making?
Tell of the most difficult customer service experience that you have ever had to handle -- perhaps an angry or irate customer. Be specific and tell what you did and what was the outcome.
Give an example of when you had to work with someone who was difficult to get along with. Why was this person difficult? How did you handle that person?
Describe a situation where you found yourself dealing with someone who didn't like you. How did you handle it?
Give me a specific example of something you did that helped build enthusiasm in others.
Tell me about a difficult situation when it was desirable for you to keep a positive attitude. What did you do?
Give me an example of a time you had to make an important decision. How did you make the decision? How does it affect you today?
Give me an example of a time you had to persuade other people to take action. Were you successful?
Tell me about a time when you had to deal with a difficult person. How did you handle the situation?
Tell me about a time you had to handle multiple responsibilities. How did you organize the work you needed to do?
Tell me about a time when you had to make a decision, but didn't have all the information you needed.
What suggestions do you have for our organization?
What is the most significant contribution you made to the company during a past job or internship?
What is the biggest mistake you've made?
Describe a situation in which you had to use reference materials to write a research paper. What was the topic? What journals did you read?
Give me a specific example of a time when a co-worker or classmate criticized your work in front of others. How did you respond? How has that event shaped the way you communicate with others?
Give me a specific example of a time when you sold your supervisor or professor on an idea or concept. How did you proceed? What was the result?
Describe the system you use for keeping track of multiple projects. How do you track your progress so that you can meet deadlines? How do you stay focused?
Tell me about a time when you came up with an innovative solution to a challenge your company/class/organization was facing. What was the challenge? What role did others play?
Describe a specific problem you solved for your employer or professor. How did you approach the problem? What role did others play? What was the outcome?
Describe a time when you got co-workers or classmates who dislike each other to work together. How did you accomplish this? What was the outcome?
Tell me about a time when you failed to meet a deadline. What things did you fail to do? What were the repercussions? What did you learn?
Describe a time when you put your needs aside to help a co-worker or classmate understand a task. How did you assist him or her? What was the result?
Give two examples of things you've done in previous jobs or school that demonstrate your willingness to work hard.
Describe the last time that you undertook a project that demanded a lot of initiative.
What is the most competitive work or school situation you have experienced? How did you handle it? What was the result?
Describe a project or situation that best demonstrates your analytical abilities.
Give an example of when you took a risk to achieve a goal. What was the outcome?
Tell about a time when you built rapport quickly with someone under difficult conditions.
Some people consider themselves to be "big picture people" and others are detail oriented. Which are you? Give an example that illustrates your preference.
Describe a situation where you felt you had not communicated well. How did you correct the situation?
Describe a time when you took personal accountability for a conflict and initiated contact with the individual(s) involved to explain your actions.
Give me an example of when you were able to meet the personal and professional (or academic) demands in your life yet still maintained a healthy balance.
Everyone has made some poor decisions or has done something that just did not turn out right. Give an example of when this has happened to you.
What do you do when you are faced with an obstacle to an important project? Give an example.
Tell about the most difficult or frustrating individual that you've ever had to work with, and how you managed to work with that person.
Tell about a time when your trustworthiness was challenged. How did you react/respond?
Describe a situation when you were able to have a positive influence on the actions of others.
Tell about a recent job or campus experience that you would describe as a real learning experience? What did you learn from the job or experience?
Describe a team experience you found disappointing. What could you have done to prevent it?
Recall a situation in which communications were poor. How did you handle it?
Describe a time when you had to make a difficult choice between your personal and professional (or academic) life.
On occasion we are confronted by dishonesty in the workplace or in school. Tell about such an occurrence and how you handled it.
What motivates you to go the extra mile on a project or job?

Dear Mike,
Do you mind if I call you new Ben? Anyway new Ben, you should know right off the bat that none of us trust you because you're Canadian. Even the Canadians here don't trust you because you're Canadian. So...might want to get on that.

would you rather drink Conan the Barbarian and Conan the Destroyers bath water or have mostapha al turk breathe on you for 5 minutes?

"Conan the Barbarian or Conan the Destroyer, and why?"

Lol @ the sly diverting tactic of adding "why?".

I look forward to your crazy and semi-funny canadian wit. Will your stories be in plain to read English, or that fuzzy version of French all you Queen loving Northerners use? I look forward to your input and hopefully don't need a translator to read the punchlines.

What's up?

Ok, Ben listen up. I'm gonna call you Ben because I forgot your name already and I'm too lazy to scroll up. Ironic, isn't it? Especially since I just wasted much more time by typing these words. But I digress. I check this fucking page every day, many times a day, throughout the work day. Why? Because at my job I get my soul slowly sucked out of my eyes via a computer monitor that I must stare at every second of every work day. This is where you come in. The more offensive and pathetic you come across in your writing the less hopeless and shitty my life appears, giving me feelings of superiority over you and everyone else on earth who must eventually bow before me before the streets will flow with the blood of the non-believers the warm blood flowing over my hands!!!

So Mike,
You, Dana, and Ariel are hanging out together in Vancouver before 115 smoking some B.C. herb and the great Ariel vs. Dana argument comes up. Ariel argues that Fedor is the best p4p fighter while Dana maintains Anderson leaves more talent than anybody else in the world has in the toilet after taking a shit. Do you stay true to your Canadian roots and throw Georges name into the argument or jump on board with one of the other two?

@ProfessorMMA Saskatchewan is the heart of Canada, dumb-ass

Hi Mike,


There's a whole bucket of ______ back there with your name on it.




Oh, and welcome to CP.

Dear Mike,
What are your feelings on Conan The Barbarian, and how do you plan to apply the movie to cagepotato? Why should we trust you? Do even like potato chips?

so, new ben... where in canada are you from? the rotten east coast (manitoba and over) or the wicked west (rockies and west)... nothing else matters so if not from either dont answer

Hi Mike,

I don't really know which Ben is which or why i should care about them or you, but i do like to laugh and this site is relatively funny for an MMA board. My questions are have you ever trained or fought MMA? Have you even trained or fought one aspect like BJJ or muay Thai? Have you ever even been in a fight, lets say...since high school? If the answer(s) is no thats okay, just curious. You could always lie. I wouldn't even know the difference. But Jesus does Mike, Jesus does. Oh and i'd say welcome, but i only come here from time to time so it's not really my place.

Me again, Mike:

Spit or swallow?

Blondes or brunettes?

Boxers or briefs?

Krom or your Four Winds?

Which do you prefer, billiards or tennis?

www . mikerussell . com

Don't be scared, Homie!!

Who's more handsome, Bigfoot Silva or Cyborg?

Hi, Mike. I have a question. Why do you suck so much? I kid, I kid. Welcome aboard.

Mike Russell? You mean "the" Mike Russell?!? Don't worry, man, I won't blow your cover.

Welcome aboard Mike! A fellow canuck, awesome!

Question: Do you wanna be a fucking Senior Editor at Cage Potato? Don't be that guy that just goes out and leaves it in the hands of commentors because tomorrow you're gonna wake up and say "man, I really fucked up...I got called out by El Famous Burrito, rex13, and Old Bald and Irish" and you're gonna hate yourself for that.

Hi Mike, Welcome aboard.

I'd really like to know though, if someone put a gun to your head and said you had to choose one of the following people to hang out with who you would choose and why:

Kalib Starnes
Tito Ortiz
Scott Blevins
War Machine
Armando Garcia
Dan Quinn (but he's all jacked up on Stevia, player)
Caplocks Hal

Hi.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Could you please submit all your stories via awesome photoshop pictures?

I like Ben and Mike together. But that could just be because they make the initials to my two favorite things- Bloody Marys and Bowel Movements.

Here is my question to the whole CagePotato "company":
Do you guys get paid any money to taunt the mentally challenged users of this site and make entertaining observations about news that real sites post?

Hey Mike,

Are you allergic to anything?

This is my first comment ever.

Thanks.

Are you going to take little jabs at boxing every chance you get even though the two sports have pretty much the same appeal, and ought to, by all rights, have the same fucking fanbase?

Will you be taking over the Ask the Potato?

Welcome, Mike.

There's only one thing I have to know about you:

Conan the Barbarian or Conan the Destroyer, and why?

You will be required to change your name legally and immediately to Ben Russell, that is all.

how long past 10 minutes was your staring contest with shogun's ass during the machida fight?

Guys. He still has Christmas. On the same day, too. Welcome aboard, Mike.

You're not going to spell "color" with a "u", are you? I fucking hate that.

Ben vs Mike doesnt sound catchy at all

change your name

Hi Mike, I have a question: Just where do you get the balls?

Boooooooooo.


...


Jk...sorta ;-)

good luck ass wipe

hope you can handle our shit

Go Cavs.

Anybody else click on the "plaider pastures" link? Ariel has outdone himself, shirt-wise.

Welcome aboard, Mike! That being said...

YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD AND YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

Arrrrgh. You spelled it out for us nine days ago, and i missed it.

Well played, gentlemen.


Ok, here goes:


Hi Mike,

Welcome to Cage Potato. Just curious, were you a member before you started contributing? (Are you, in fact, AptNinja? Just a shot in the dark.) I'd like to point out that i recently put GSP at the top of the P4P rankings; i assume that will win me your good graces for some short period of time. OH! How important is cheese curd when making poutine?

i'd make more jokes about your home country, but i'm american, so i can't really talk much smack. I also kinda like canada. Again, welcome aboard.

-RX

So there's receding hairline and there was hairy forearms, which one are you?

Why is the ironing board still out?!?!

I see this going bad very fast for poor Canadian Mike. Can't wait to read his welcome.

He better be funny.