MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Armchair Matchmaker: UFC 113 Edition


("Holy crap. Do my eyebrows really look like that?")

So here’s what we know: Josh Koscheck will be playing the fraggle-haired heel in Georges St. Pierre‘s next title defense. Kimbo and Semtex are dunzoMauricio Rua‘s next opponent will be determined by UFC 114′s Rampage vs. Rashad feature. Matt Mitrione and Joey Beltran could face each other at UFC 117 in August, which sounds about right. As for the rest of last weekend’s winners and losers, their fates are still to be determined. Not saying you need any help, Joe Silva, but if things are piling up at UFC headquarters, allow us to offer a few suggestions…

Lyoto Machida: If Antonio Rogerio Nogueira can get through Jason Brilz later this month, Machida vs. Lil’ Nog is the fight that makes sense. A win for Machida would be a perfect rebound against a dangerous, highly-regarded striker, while a win for Minotoro would convince fans that he’s a title threat worth caring about. Even though they’re both members of the Black House collective, Machida hasn’t ruled the match out.

Alan Belcher: He wants Anderson Silva. Isn’t that precious! Still, there’s no denying that Belcher is a rising star with some great recent wins under his belt. My first instinct would be to put him against Michael Bisping if the Count is victorious against Dan Miller at UFC 114. But there’s something just a little too obvious about that. If Belcher can handle Anderson Silva, surely he’d have no problem with Demian Maia, right? Tremendous upside for Belcher, and a good tune-up for Maia, who needs to re-locate his formerly fearsome jiu-jitsu.


Marcus Davis: This one’s a no-brainer. Davis wants a spot on the Boston card, so put him up against Phil Baroni to stoke the Boston vs. New York rivalry, and watch them slug their way to a Fight of the Night bonus.

Sam Stout: Hands of Stone just picked up his third-straight Fight of the Night award (and fifth FOTN overall), which means he’s basically the Chris Lytle of the lightweight division — exciting to watch, and frustratingly inconsistent. Since Clay Guida and Joe Stevenson are already booked for August, a meeting with the loser of Tyson Griffin vs. Evan Dunham at UFC 115 seems like a good fit.

Johny Hendricks: He narrowly scratched out a majority decision over TJ Grant, so we think a lateral move is in order. Put him up against DaMarques Johnson, who has looked great since his TUF 9 stint, and defeated Brad Blackburn in an impressively gutsy performance at UFC 112. The word is that Johnson will be facing Matt Riddle next. Well, that’s a terrible idea and should be re-considered immediately.

Tom Lawlor and Patrick Cote: Pair ‘em up against each other, and the loser gets lost. Both guys have dropped two straight, and both deserve one more chance to prove themselves. Cote’s loss to Belcher could easily be attributed to excessive ring rust. As for Lawlor, he needs to spend as much time working on his cardio as he does planning those lavish entrances.

Tim Hague, Jonathan Goulet, Jason MacDonald: They only got a spot on the "Machida vs. Shogun II" card because the UFC needed some local flavor, and we expect to see these guys back on the Canadian regional circuit after the way their fights turned out. But as long as they can keep racking up wins, a callback is always possible. Just ask Joe Doerksen.

(BG)

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petpaintings- September 7, 2011 at 12:48 am
Josh Koscheck is one of the best fighters I have ever seen on his category.I will surely see his next fight.I like the picture pet paintings and its description,you have the sense of humour.Thanks for the post,you are really great.
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G Funk- May 12, 2010 at 8:49 am
Machida vs. 'lil NOg? That fight will never happen cause they train together DUMBASS!!! Who the fuck is writing for the potato now?
fatbellyfrank- May 12, 2010 at 1:59 am
can you imagine the shitfight that would come out of the Silva camp if Belcher was put against him now? you could guarantee that would be a danceathon/humiliation that would turn people away in droves
Lorenzoe553- May 11, 2010 at 10:35 pm
@ratel- i mean i think cote did decent for a guy who had no chance of beating silva. he took some clean shots...well alot of clean shots and landed some of his own. with the exception of henderson in the 1st round and franklin in the 2nd fight 1st round cote actually did better than most other fighters against silva....yeah i know thats not saying much.
ghostboner- May 11, 2010 at 9:48 pm
@IDestroy - Ha ha well I suppose so. Well, all of us who didn't have Father Steve influencing our tastes when we were young boys, that is.
Ratel- May 11, 2010 at 9:37 pm
As for Cote, I don't see how he got a title shot in the first place. This is a guy who lost to Chris Leben, and didn't really fight any top tier fights until Silva. Beating Kendall grove, Scott Smith and losing to Travis Lutter should not propel a fighter into contention.

As for the knee injury, I honestly think that his knee failing like that saved him from an embarassing loss. That was the first time we all saw Silva behaving, shall we say, erratically, and it was also the first time I saw Silva casually knock his opponent down, which I like, and then extend a hand to help him back to his feet, which I didn't like.

We saw Silva extend the helping hand again against Griffin and then against Maia. It's one thing to be a Jedi like that, but he doesn't need to be a d-bag about it.
Lorenzoe553- May 11, 2010 at 9:16 pm
@rearnakedchicken- i kno im late as hell to replying to this and i figure u probly wont read this but silvas beaten plenty of guys at mw- franklin twice which for most people its hard to beat him once, leben, marquart and henderson. these guys are all tough to beat. and silva did it fine. belcher would try to put pressure on silva, but again he got hit by cote plenty of times and silva is not only more accurate but definately more dangerous on the feet then cote or belcher. he doesnt keep his hands up and thatd be very foolish against silva. but people gotta get back to the champs side so i say he should fight/beat/ko belcher.
TheJuggernaut- May 11, 2010 at 7:46 pm
i agree with all except the lawlor and cote fight. i by all means think they could and should fight, but i dont think the loser should be cut. i mean yes they both have lost 2 in a row, but cote's are against silva and after a year and a half layoff he loses to belcher, who isnt a slouch by any means. tom lawlor lost a close split decision to simpson and got upset by doerkson, but he beat dolloway in 55 seconds, choked him out cold. i just think the winner and loser of that fight have the means to be very entertaining to the fans and are still dangerous in the division.
iDestroy- May 11, 2010 at 7:34 pm
@ghostboner

I hope it wasn't for rubbin one out to mother Teresa, cuz then we'd all be in some trouble. Right guy? Right?
RaginAsian- May 11, 2010 at 7:04 pm
"Cote's loss to Belcher could easily be attributed to excessive ring rust."

If by "ring rust" you mean "canvas in face". He was doing just fine until that.
macreadysshack- May 11, 2010 at 7:00 pm
@Kimbos Bread

Your 'fuck that' is noted and respected. My stance is different, though. I think Silva could've destroyed Cote at any moment but was playing his ridiculous insane dance game. I think Cote beats A Silva NEVER. I put Belcher in the same category. I also don't agree that that was a 'spike' since Cote seemed mostly horizontal and he landed on his face. It was more like a snap-down than a spike, in that respect. I only saw it once, though and I was drunker than I usually get at UFC's so I could totally be wrong.

Wanna be totally clear on respecting your opinion, though, and open to being wrong - especially about Belcher. As I said before, I haven't given Belcher enough thought yet. Disliking him is more of an gut thing at this point.
ghostboner- May 11, 2010 at 6:14 pm
@Ratel - Eff you and your ranting, man. I might have been born in Wyoming, but my fight moniker is the Ugandan Machete, and you can't make me change it!

@iDestroy - Yeah he gone and done somethin bonehead, that's for sure. Maybe rubbed one out to Mother Teresa or failed to salute Don Frye's stache or something.
trebek- May 11, 2010 at 6:05 pm
Goulet will probably get another chance. He's actually been with the UFC continually since '07 or so but has had long layoffs with some bad injuries. I dunno, the powers that be seem to really like him. Win or lose you're guaranteed excitement when Goulet's in there.
ReX13- May 11, 2010 at 5:45 pm
Ratel>> True story: while i was flying back from the middle east, we had a stop in Shannon, Ireland. To celebrate our return to a place where we could imbibe alcohol, my small group decided to order some drinks drink our faces off. Just before we boarded our plan for Baltimore, Maryland US of A, we ordered one more round:


Irish car bombs.


Yeah.
Ratel- May 11, 2010 at 5:34 pm
@ idestroy - bwa hahahahahaha on the james irvin comment. 50 orphanages indeed.
Ratel- May 11, 2010 at 5:33 pm
i couldn't give a rat's ass about marcus davis. i despise him - mostly because he's a guy, born in america, grew up in maine, calls himslef the irish hand grenade.

how many fucking generations of being born in a single country does a family have to go through before its members stop borrowing their cultural identity from a place where their great great great great great great grandfather came from 180 years ago? seriously.

if davis himself was born in ireland, even if he was only there for a day, i'd let him have his stupid little nickname. but he wasn't, so fuck him.

also, did it ever occur to him that it might be irresponsible to associate the irish with hand grenades, as if that's their symbol or something, when the country's trying to move beyond all the shitty things done by PIRA?

godDAMN i hate marcus davis. i love to see him lose.
budsellers- May 11, 2010 at 5:12 pm
davis vs serra would be a great fight

machida vs rashad (after rampage kicks his ass)

belcher vs belfort is an awesome idea (belcher belongs in the top 10)


the suggestion of belcher vs bisping is weak because while belcher has won fights against former contenders, bisping has only won fights against no-name competition.
iDestroy- May 11, 2010 at 5:01 pm
@ghostboner

Karma huh? James Irvin must have burned down 50 orphanages or somethin.
BJJ Pennguin- May 11, 2010 at 4:50 pm
we need some Belcher vs Okami, homies
budsellers- May 11, 2010 at 4:41 pm
the machida vs noguiera matchup will not happen. would be good, but it will not happen.
Koeikan- May 11, 2010 at 4:25 pm
Ugh...Lyoto vs. Lil Nog only happens for the belt. Ain't happening otherwise.

You should know better, CP.
Kimbos Bread- May 11, 2010 at 4:20 pm
Fuck that. Cote's loss to Anderson was due to injury, you can't count that. And his loss to Belcher wasn't clean. I am in the croud who believes his loss was due to an infair spike by Belcher.


Harry Sack- May 11, 2010 at 4:00 pm
Lyoto Machida was only trying to emulate his idol - steve nash. He'll merely reclaim the belt in Shogun / Dragon III. Relax.
ghostboner- May 11, 2010 at 3:56 pm
iDestroy - So you don't think Palhares' karma will catch up to him in his next fight eh? Well that is bad for him. The longer the bad karma lurks the worse it is when it hits.
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