MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Armchair Matchmaker: UFC on FUEL 3 Edition


(We can’t be the only ones who are baffled by the Corn Nuts sponsorship, right?) 

Maybe it’s just us, but it seems like it’s getting harder and harder to drum up a potential list of future opponents for the winners of a given UFC card these days. Not only are most fighters already booked for the promotion’s ever-increasing amount of cards, but the ones selected for title shots are seemingly being drawn out of a hat. Be that as it may, we are going to try and sift through the wreckage of last night’s UFC on FUEL card and determine who the big winners should face next. Enjoy.

Chan Sung Jung: We’ll be the first to admit that we underestimated “The Korean Zombie” heading into yesterday’s fight. But aside from his excellent transitions on the ground, or that amazing takedown reversal to mount he was able to pull off, the thing that impressed us the most about Jung was his tranquility. While Poirier was throwing his best shots at him, Jung remained calm, and worked his way out of every hairy situation like a true pro. He deserves a title shot, and Dana White claims that he is next in line for one. And The Baldfather would never go back on his word. Just ask Anthony Pettis.

Amir Sadollah: Despite the fact that neither Sadollah or Jorge Lopez offered much in terms of offensive output in their co-main event (Author’s note: WHO THE FUCK DECIDED THIS?!) clash, we were a little surprised to see Amir get the nod. But regardless of the outcome, one could see that there are still some noticeable holes in Sadollah’s game. Mainly, aggression and takedown defense. Sadollah needs to fight a guy that will bring out his inner beast, and the winner of the Matt Riddle/Luis Ramos bout would be a perfect test for him.

Donald Cerrone: To say that Cerrone’s performance against Jeremy Stephens was anything short of masterful would be an understatement. When facing “The Cowboy’s” multifaceted, not to mention vicious attack, Stephens could do little else but swing for all he was worth, with all but a few of his punches coming up far short of their target. Now 5-1 in the UFC, Cerrone should only be fighting the division’s brightest. A match against Anthony Pettis would not only be a great test of just how far either man will go at 155, but a potential FOTY candidate to boot. Plus, DW could promise the winner a title shot by the end of 2014 when the lightweight division finally clears up.

Yves Jabouin: After falling prey to one of the greatest submissions of 2011 in his UFC debut, the Tristar Gym standout has reeled off three straight in the octagon. Although he has yet to finish an opponent in convincing fashion in his UFC run, he came as close as humanly possible when he unleashed that spinning back kick in the first round of his bantamweight brawl with Jeff Hougland. Given his propencity to put on technical, yet exciting striking clinics, we’d like to see him square off against Mike Easton, who he was originally scheduled to face at yesterday’s event, once “The Hulk” recovers from his injury. It was a good matchup then, and it makes just as much sense now. The pace this fight would take place at would be enough to send the audience into a mass epileptic seizure, and it could make for a great addition to any lacking card.

Tom Lawlor: Currently 2-2 in his last four, with victories coming over the now released Patrick Cote and the soon to be retired Jason MacDonald, it’s kind of hard to place LOLor anywhere but the middle of the pack at this point. We will forever be indebted to “Filthy” for becoming the first man to choke C.B. Dolloway into Narnia at UFC 100, and the man’s weigh-in fashion sense is nothing short of impeccable, so he deserves a winnable matchup against an entertaining fighter to carry the momentum of his KOTN performance. The winner of the Nick Catone/Chris Camozzi scrap, scheduled for UFC on FX 4, comes to mind.

Cody McKenzie: We don’t care if McKenzie is a one-trick pony, he’s our one trick pony, dammit. Physically, McKenzie looked the best he ever has when stepping into the cage against UFC newcomer and wrestling powerhouse Marcus LeVessuer, but that could’ve simply been the result of trimming the outhouse mop that sat atop his head for so long. Sure, he still looked goofy as hell when throwing some of his kicks, which included the first upkick nutshot we’ve seen in quite some time, but if you so much as sneeze in his general direction, he will snatch that neck up and have you crying uncle before you even have time to wipe your nose. He more than likely saved his Zuffa career yesterday, and isn’t exactly ready for a huge step up in competition. Honestly, I would be satisfied if the UFC continued to serve him McKenzietine fodder for the rest of his career, but a matchup against Reza Madadi, who is coming off an impressive debut submission victory over Yoislandy Izquierdo at UFC on FUEL: Gustafsson vs. Silva would be a good test of just what he can do.

So what do you think, Potato Nation? Who should yesterday’s biggest winners (or losers) face off against in the near future?

-J. Jones 

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linzhance- May 18, 2012 at 9:48 am
http://tinyurl.com/goodb4biz
ghostboner- May 16, 2012 at 11:13 pm
Na scratch that I don't wanna see either of those guys lose. Joe Lauzon? Sam Stoout? Is Gray Maynard already tied up?
ghostboner- May 16, 2012 at 11:03 pm
Don Juan Cerrone vs BJ Penn?
DangadaDang- May 16, 2012 at 4:14 pm
Thanks for the spot, Mauler.
TheWonderfulMauler- May 16, 2012 at 4:02 pm
Tom Lawlor fights at Middlewight and Matt Brown fights at Welterweight. Just Sayin.
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