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Ask Don #1: Eye-Gouges, Obama vs. Romney, And the Ideal Breakfast

(“Oh, the coat? Funny story. So there I was, robbing Steven Seagal at gunpoint…”)

After sifting through your brilliant questionsand your idiotic ones — MMA legend Don Frye has graced us with the first installment of his mailbag column on CagePotato. Read his wisdom below, and please lay down your own questions in the comments section. If he answers your question in a future column…well, you won’t be getting a prize or anything, but it’ll be the closest you come to greatness. Enjoy, and visit for all your Don Frye needs.

danomite asks: Where the hell did you get those American flag trunks?
My mother-in-law made them and it was so exhausting that she had to retire from the fight shorts making business. The shorts were made from the flag Teddy Roosevelt waved charging up San Juan Hill. The flag was a gift to her personally because she was the horse that carried him.

johnny6pack asks: The eye gouge you suffered against Gilbert Yvel was the worst one this side of Kevin Burns getting his retina ripped out by Anthony Johnson. [Ed. note: You got that one backwards, but okay.] Good on ya for keepin’ on with the fight. Did you ever try to get a rematch to kick his sorry cheatin’ ass? Also, how bad was the injury post-fight?
There was never a rematch. The eyes healed in a matter of a few days, as eyes heal quickly, mine just heal faster than anybody else. I was back in the strip club hours later rehabbing my eyes.

leoherbie asks: Who is your favorite MMA pioneer (early 1990s era), and who is your favorite modern-day MMA fighter?
Don Frye is my favorite pioneer, you big dummy! I like anybody who has a world championship belt because they have dedicated their lives and worked hard to succeed and be on top. They built it themselves despite what the claim may be from people who have not done anything on their own and/or who have had their position purchased for them.

bgoldstein asks: If MMA didn’t exist, what do you think you would have done with your life?
I would have been a gynocologist for the CIA.

2dadeath asks: Obama or Romney?
Romney! Hey everybody, this time vote American like I always do!

Loki asks: Have you been approached to play a role in the Expendables series yet? (If not, when will be see you on the big screen again?)
My agent advised me that my tendency to use multi-syllable words prevents me from participating in the film. Although, I did enjoy the movie, especially the firearms and fight scenes.

keithhackneywilndmillpalmstrike asks: What is your typical breakfast? I imagine it somewhere along the lines of a large steak or slab of flesh of some kind, a tall glass of Bourbon, a pile of bacon, a bowl of nails and some shards of glass…am I in the ballpark?
You are quite right, you just forgot that it is served up by a half dozen female porn starlettes armed with machine guns and hand grenades begging me to allow them to tend to all my personal needs.

Cagepotato Comments

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breakin411- October 10, 2012 at 8:40 am
Don Frye is the man! Check out this trailer for a new movie Don is starring in... Don Frye IS Badass Brock
RSparrow- October 9, 2012 at 11:14 pm
Holy shit, I was casually scrolling and just saw my post. Zero recollection. Pay attention to the back of pill bottles, I think some of that information is written for a reason. Wowwwwwww.... Lmao my fault fellas. (grounding myself for a couple days)
sillys- October 9, 2012 at 8:12 pm
I make $82h while I'm traveling the world. Last week I worked by my laptop in Rome, Monti Carlo and finally Paris…This week I'm back in the USA. All I do are easy tasks from this one cool site. check it out,
Pen Fifteen- October 9, 2012 at 8:10 am
@RSparrow: You forgot to tell him where you live, dipshit.
MorningwoodII- October 9, 2012 at 6:30 am
I think Sparrow just rubbed his own nuts raw thinking about rubbing Frye's nuts raw.
RSparrow- October 8, 2012 at 11:54 pm
Frye likes to have a good time and answer fun shit... you dorks need to get a hold of yourselves.

Frye, hit me up when you come to h town. RyanCSparrow@gmail. When you get a legend like this crazy fucker, make it happen! You'll get VIP to any club you want to in this town (even the dirty dirty if you insist) No one cares about your ipod music, pizza toppings, or how you clean up your disgustingly hairy load. 3/4 of these guys on this site are great, youve answered the stupid questions, now lets get down and see what Don fucking Frye is all about. My neighbor's got his limo business on stand by...
Mr_Misanthropy- October 8, 2012 at 11:43 pm
Dear Don-

Have you been bequeathed a thousand virgins in the afterlife for every gook or zipperhead whose face you bashed in?

Is it true you fight fires by merely scaring them into submission with your steely gaze?

2DaDeath- October 8, 2012 at 11:32 pm
Big country thinks winning is the only thing that matters and Dana White thinks you should take risks so that you're remembered (more or less). Who's right?
danomite- October 8, 2012 at 8:10 pm
Hands down the greatest answer I've ever received from one of these things.
crappiefloper- October 8, 2012 at 7:59 pm
Mr. Frye,
How do I convince my wife's two sisters to have a three way with me? Please note, I am unable to grow an epic stash, or I would ask for advice on a four way, me,the wife, and her two sisters.
Thank you
The12ozCurls- October 8, 2012 at 6:43 pm
And that is not the Matt Hughes hunter depth perception trick either because his arm isn't even extended. It looks like a giant can of Folgers. Damn!
RwilsonR- October 8, 2012 at 4:29 pm
With the American flag trunks and a healthy mustache of his own, was Apollo Creed just a cheap rip off of you? Did they make him black so that they wouldn't have to pay you royalties for image infringement from the profits the Rocky movies made?
RwilsonR- October 8, 2012 at 4:20 pm
What's with all this hype about '50 Shades of Grey'? Your mustache has been doing more to get middle-aged women wet, and for a lot longer than that stupid book, right?
RwilsonR- October 8, 2012 at 3:52 pm
Don Frye is everything Chuck Norris wishes he could be. This guy is just awesome!
xxoddus- October 8, 2012 at 3:34 pm
CagePotato - Please please please get Don Frye to answer more questions, I could have read 10 pages of these responses! awesome
Alan K- October 8, 2012 at 2:34 pm
If you were given the chance to kick the living shit out of anybody, living or dead, who would you pick and why?
BuckWild- October 8, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Dear Mr Frye. Have you ever taken an arse whoppin you didn't deserve? (not inside a cage)
Blak302- October 8, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Can we expect your loss to Dave Herman to be overturned once your mustache has submitted him by taking over every pore on his body?
Ricardo Guitardo- October 8, 2012 at 1:46 pm
I didnt know magnum pi used to be a mma fighter.
masliar3- October 8, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Don, I see you support Romney. Why would you vote for him? He will jack up your taxes as you are in the 47%. I mean I am assuming because you have not been big time since big time was getting paid $100.00 and a t-shirt for three fights in one night. Meathead
Pen Fifteen- October 8, 2012 at 12:43 pm
Do you use toilet paper or do you just wipe your ass with your bare hand?
MorningwoodII- October 8, 2012 at 12:30 pm
Don, I've heard your mustache is fertilized by ladies milk. Do you prefer chocolate, whole, skim?
MorningwoodII- October 8, 2012 at 12:22 pm
Don, where are the best strip clubs? Don't reply Thailand, cuz it was probably a dude that danced for you.
KeithHackneyWindmillPalmStrike- October 8, 2012 at 12:22 pm
Sweet, thanks for no prize CP....ya cheap bastards
Sho Nuff- October 8, 2012 at 11:58 am
Jesus, Don... Steven Seagal, Chris Rock, Magnum PI, and a Tibetan monk called, they all want their clothes back, Magnum wants the 'stache, too. Larry the Cable Guy said you could keep his hat, he has, and I quote, "more of 'em than a porcupine has pokers"