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Ask the Potato: Don Frye, Mustaches and Potato Sutra

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It’s good to be back.

After days of anticipation, Ask the Potato is finally back and as credible as ever. The deepest thinkers among us have emerged with a series of questions- some of which even came in the form of complete sentences, with question marks and everything. The rest of you? Well, you at least tried to have a coherent thought, right? And even though the thought doesn’t count, you’re still special to us. So, without further delay, the triumphant return of Ask the Potato awaits after the jump.

El Famous Burrito asks:  Let’s say you and Don Frye are in an elevator together, and a whole bunch of women get on at the next floor. Frye rips a nasty fart and you notice, but when the ladies notice he blames it on you. Do you say anything, or just let it slide?

Answer:  We’d always just assumed that Don Frye’s gas was toxic, but we’ll honor the spirit of the question. Whether we man up or play the punk role comes down to one simple factor: How drunk is Don at the time? He doesn’t exactly have a great record in intoxicated elevator fights.

Dibs asks: Who would you rather have…Arianny or Brittney? That’s a tough choice. I think I would have to pick Brittney, she looks a little dirtier if you know what I mean.

Answer:  We’re here to answer questions, Dibs, not break hearts, but if you must know, it’s Brittney for two key reasons:

1) According to some sources, we’ve already screwed Arianny.

2) Sorry, but we’re not following up Tiki, no matter how much of a prude he may be.

RwilsonR asksIs Anderson Silva’s new obsession with Justin Bieber just him taking his Michael Jackson impersonation too far?

Answer:  We’ve heard that Silva is looking into acquiring the bones of Helio Gracie and a chimpanzee companion, so…maybe?

noahnasty asksWho’s gonna be UFC champion in every division, including the flywieghts, at the end of 2012?

Answer:  It’s easy to hold onto the belt a little bit longer when you’re sitting on the shelf, which was the M.O. for UFC champs this past year, but we’ve also got some established title holders that aren’t likely to be going anywhere for awhile. Assuming that each champ defends his belt at least twice next year, we see it playing out like this:

Joseph Benavidez, Dominick Cruz, Chad Mendes, Gil Melendez, GSP, Anderson Silva, Jon Jones, Junior Dos Santos.

Call your bookie and lock it in. Do it. No, seriously, do it.

KarmaAteMyCat asks: What color should I dye my mustache for Movember?

Answer: You should do half pink, half purple and just dare a motherfucker to call you gay.

skeletor asks: If each of the columnists on CP were sex positions who would be what. Please explain.

Answer: Ben doesn’t care about the position. He just wants to be fucked worse than he’s ever been fucked before. Mike Russell would be missionary because it’s the most classy, polite position, and he’s easily the most classy, polite person on this website. And judging by the way that Matt Kaplan shamelessly plows through liveblogs, he’d be the jackhammer.

Now, let’s let the rest of these jokers answer your question in their own words:

Danga: Without question The Alligator Fuckhouse.

ReX13: I’m “lazy dog“, but I didn’t think anyone would want to know.

Jason Moles: The Body Builder – Cuz that’s how I roll

Chris Colemon: Front dick, back dick, side check dick, all of that.

Seth Falvo: I’d be the Little Jack Hornher, because that’s just how you spell “classy”.

Well, that about wraps it up for this week. Tune in next week as we answer even more of your (hopefully at least kind of) MMA related questions. Just as last time, you can send us questions through our Facebook page. You can tweet them to our Twitter account. You can register for our forums and post your questions there. Or you can just post them in the comments section of this article. If we didn’t get to your question this time around, look on the bright side: You have an entire week to come up with a better question. Get to it!


Cagepotato Comments

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ksgbobo- October 25, 2011 at 9:34 am
Why as my name changed to Dibs????!!! That was my question.
zhmmvv- October 24, 2011 at 8:14 am
top sex service ,top girls
welcome to
smellypiratehooker- October 23, 2011 at 2:30 pm
I was a little more suprised by that ridiculous Mendes pick.With all do respect( which has dominished considering that ridiculous Mendes pick)
bitteralex- October 23, 2011 at 10:42 am
Seriously?!? you think melendez will have the belt in 2012... foreshame CP... how can you refuse to give edgar his props now??
Melendez only has a wide looping right... he's going to get picked apart by edgar... let me ask this: Is Melendez better than Penn?
Noodle- October 23, 2011 at 6:37 am
So CP, who do you think is the gayest fighter?
Capital- October 22, 2011 at 10:00 pm
"Who would you rather have…Arianny or Brittney? That’s a tough choice. I think I would have to pick Brittney, she looks a little dirtier if you know what I mean."

no one you stupid twat,,your a fucking internetnerd and will NEVER even seen a girl like that,,,,get real you tard!
Gay Playnerd- October 22, 2011 at 9:46 pm
Because it suuuuuure tickles mine.
zhmmmmvv- October 22, 2011 at 7:48 pm
top sex service for the UFC ,Welcome to and visit
Gay Playnerd- October 22, 2011 at 7:40 pm
You guys think it tickles when Don eats your ass?
CrushCo- October 22, 2011 at 1:56 pm
@Motivated Penn: Don Frye doesn't reach for breasts. Don Frye presents his hand, and breasts rush toward it.
CrushCo- October 22, 2011 at 1:50 pm
@RSparrow: If you want us to consider that for next week's edition, I'm going to need you to phrase it in the form of a question.
Motivated Penn- October 22, 2011 at 1:41 pm
I never thought I'd see the day when Don Frye is hover handing!
RSparrow- October 22, 2011 at 12:46 pm
I'm changing websites, your humor sucks.
CrushCo- October 22, 2011 at 12:23 pm
Oh...uh..Hi, Seth! What are YOU doing here?
SethF- October 22, 2011 at 12:09 pm
I sure as hell wouldn't. That's for damn sure.
*Awkward silence*
ReX13- October 22, 2011 at 12:05 pm
Let's be honest, it's because Mike is Canadian. What? We were all thinking it.
CrushCo- October 22, 2011 at 11:23 am
@RwilsonR: I bet if they did let me write here they'd stick me on weekend duty with Seth, and who would want that???
RwilsonR- October 22, 2011 at 11:15 am
^ Good point, CrushCo. I definitely missed that "If".
Hey, they should have you write for this site. Just a thought.
CrushCo- October 22, 2011 at 10:37 am
@RwilsonR: The sex question started with "If". It was clearly hypothetical.
RwilsonR- October 22, 2011 at 10:33 am
So all those people really write for this site? Really??
...And they've all had sex?
Enough to have a favorite position?
And Gil Melendez will be LW champion?
You expect us to believe all that?
Other than those things, I am completely satisfied with all answers given.
skeletor- October 22, 2011 at 10:31 am
Also Fuck, Marry, Kill
Done Frye
Bas Rutten
CrushCo- October 22, 2011 at 10:27 am
@Todd M: Don't look now, but he's standing right behind you.
skeletor- October 22, 2011 at 10:26 am
I asked like 15 questions and you liked that one the best?
Real Question. When you guys see Old Dad at all the prestigious MMA conferences and events you attend every year, does he act like old friends or just blow you off for his more popular friends?
Todd M- October 22, 2011 at 10:00 am
Who the fuck is Jason Moles?
GistoftheFist- October 22, 2011 at 9:46 am
There is no smile under that mustache. Only a smaller, angrier mustache.