It’s that time again. Volume two in our “Ask the Potato” series. So, for those of you who asked whether this was an ongoing series, consider your question answered. Try to come up with something a little more thought-provoking next time. Go here if you’ve got a question that just can’t wait.
When are we going to find out about Paulo Filho‘s toxicology report, and how soon do you see the California Kid getting his rematch? Is he going to have to climb the ladder, or would the rematch be immediate? — Faderade
I once drove a forklift on the loading docks of a small, non-union trucking company. Many idiots worked there. One day one of these idiots inexplicably drove his forklift directly into a stack of riding lawnmowers, causing several thousand dollars worth of damage. They drug-tested that guy the same day. He did not pass. For some odd reason, Filho’s performance at WEC 36 reminded me of that guy.
When I picture the urine sample Filho submitted to the Florida Commission, I imagine it smoking and bubbling like the secret potion in a monster movie. Just handling the sample could probably cause a woman to miscarry, even if she wasn’t pregnant.
But that’s just speculation on my part. Maybe Filho wasn’t on drugs. Maybe he was off them, and that’s the explanation. You can usually expect to find out if someone tested positive within a month of the event. We’re waiting. Anxiously. As for Urijah Faber, he’ll get that rematch just as soon as Brown is healthy. He’s earned it, and it’s the only fight for the WEC at 145 that’s a guaranteed draw at this point.
What does it mean if Brock Lesnar wins? — Maxwell
If Brock Lesnar wins it means he becomes the UFC heavyweight champion (one of them, anyway), improving his career record to 3-1, and it means he will then face the winner of the Frank Mir-Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira match. Does that answer your question? No? Then maybe you should be more specific, Maxwell.
All right, depending on the method of victory, if Lesnar wins it will probably tell us that: a) he’s a beast whose size, strength, and athletic ability pose real problems for everyone in the division, especially as he gets more fights under his belt, b) Randy Couture, like all men, is vulnerable to the ravages of time, c) anyone can get lucky on any given night, d) some combination of any or all of these options.
What about the prospects of MMA as an Olympic Sport? What would MMA be like if it followed a system like they use in boxing? — T Rex
I think we can all agree that MMA in the Olympics would be awesome. I think we can also agree that the pussies who run the Olympics are pussies. They’d much rather have curling and people jumping on trampolines and other such nonsense than actually include a bad-ass sport that the Greeks would have actually wanted to watch. God, it makes me so mad. Anyway, maybe someday, but even then you have to remember that it’s not going to be Fedor vs. Couture for the heavyweight gold medal. It’s going to be amateurs. Still better than curling though.
As for the second part of your question, the answer is: shitty. It would be shitty, much like boxing has become shitty. There would be a bunch of guys who are undefeated, who aren’t fighting difficult opponents because it’s up to their managers and not an organization to force them to earn their keep, and there would be a bunch of meaningless titles. Do you want that, T Rex? I didn’t think so.
Who should the UFC add to the Hall of Fame and why? — Mayhem420
You were kind enough to include your own list, Mayhem, so I’ll just work off that:
Evan Tanner: Maybe. Only if we all realize it’s for purely sentimental reasons.
Tito: Ugh, all right. If you’re being fair, you have to.
Frank Shamrock: No. He left at the exact wrong time. He’d rather talk than fight.
Don Frye: Hell, yes. His mustache too.
Big John: Not a fighter.
Anderson Sylvia: Him neither, though that Anderson Silva guy is looking like a shoe-in.
BJ Penn: Definitely.
GSP: Too early to tell, but it looks good.
Lil Evil (Pulver): Probably not.
Tank Abbott: Certainly not.
Chuck Liddel: You spelled it wrong, but absolutely.
Rich Franklin: If he makes an impact at 205, probably. Otherwise he’s very borderline. Like the UFC’s version of Andre Dawson.