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Ask the Potato: The Best Fight Never Made, The Biggest Letdown and More

We’d tell you how we can do this to that poor girl, but it’s already been asked.

We’re back with yet another installment of Ask the Potato. You know the drill by now. You ask us somewhat serious questions. We give you bitter, sarcastic responses. Those Black Friday discounts we got yesterday have us feeling pretty stoked, so we’re not going to be nearly as facetious as usual. Sarcasm? Only one way to find out…

RSparrow asks: Who’s the black guy that’s always at the weigh ins? Like some kinda hype man, wtf?

That’s a pretty vague question, RSparrow. You could be referring to just about anybody. We’ll go out on a limb here and assume you’re talking about Burt Watson. If you’re unfamiliar with UFC’s “babysitter to the stars”, do yourself a favor and check out Ariel Helwani’s in depth interview:

RwilsonR asks: What is the best fight that was never made? 
It depends on what you mean by “best”. Do you mean what duo would have produced the most exciting scrap? Do you mean the fight that would have mattered most in the rankings? Or do you mean what fight would have meant the most to the overall landscape of the sport? There are plenty of correct answers to your query, but we’ll start the conversation with two: 
Three years after his departure from the UFC, Royce Gracie signed to put undefeated record to the test at Pride 2 against the Mark Kerr. “The Smashing Machine” had yet to taste defeat and was in his prime, and a pairing against the sport’s first hero would have been a blockbuster. Weeks away from the clash, Royce would pull out of the fight citing back issues.  A win for Royce would have further cemented his legacy in the sport and quelled talk of him departing when tougher competition emerged. A victory for the hulking Kerr would have served as a true passing of the torch moment in MMA.

When Affliction tossed their gaudy, skull-clad hat in the promoters ring, they used their foothold as sponsors to secure the best free agents available. Though they signed several respectable Octagon outcasts, their crowned jewel was undoubtedly Fedor Emelianenko. In late 2007 Randy Couture broke free from the UFC in a heated dispute, and a dream match-up with Fedor teetered on the brink of reality. Serious talk of the bout began and commercials were even shot before the UFC filed an injunction to silence that noise. It was then that the words “champions clause” first entered into our vocabulary. The bout would have been a coup for Affliction, who hosted two financially crippling events before folding up shop on the heels of a busted Fedor-Barnett headliner, which for that reason alone could qualify as an answer to your question.

KarmaAteMyCat asks: Hector Lombard or Anderson Silva? What have you Potato…

Look, we hate to be like that NFL fan who boldly predicts that the Packers will win every week. Even that guy’s mom hates that guy. But sometimes that jackass makes a good point. What we’re getting at is this: Until Anderson Silva loses, we’re going to keep predicting that he wins. 
RwilsonR asks (again): Which fighter is the biggest letdown in MMA history? Is it Paulo Filho?

Call us crazy, but no- It isn’t Paulo Filho. Sure, he’s now famous for having stupid tattoos, (allegedly) doing a lot of Roofies and pulling out of fights. But back in his WEC days, he was a legitimate top five middleweight who many were saying could beat Anderson Silva. Even though those days are in the rear-view mirror, he can’t be the biggest letdown to us because he actually did live up to the hype surrounding him at one point in time.

Rather, our pick is Satoshi Ishii. Remember when the decorated judoka was one of the hottest free agents in MMA, despite never having competed? Well, Ishii has parlayed that into a decision loss to forty year old Hidehiko Yoshida, getting disqualified from an exhibition bout, “notable” victories over Minowaman and Jerome Le Banner and a draw to the aforementioned Paulo Filho. He’s now rumored to be Fedor’s opponent for his (somewhat annual) New Year’s Eve freakshow fight. Definitely not the career trajectory we were predicting for Ishii.  

@UFC4 asks (via Twitter):  Wait, Dan Miller‘s kid needs a kidney transplant and @danawhite or @lorenzofertitta aren’t paying for it?

We’re actually a little surprised by this too. We don’t mean that in a “I can’t believe that selfish prick isn’t going to pay for this!” kind of way; we mean it in a “Dana’s actually proven to be rather generous in these situations before” kind of way. We’re the first ones to point when Dana’s horns poke out of that beautiful bald head, but he’s been known to cover them up with a white hat on multiple occassions. Not long ago, he ponied up to help a young girl get life saving surgery. He didn’t send out a press release to toot his own horn, either. He just did it. The truth is, we’re just guessing that he hasn’t already contributed. Dan says that someone already made an incredible $20,000 donation. Were not saying it came from Dana, but we can’t rule out him stepping up to the plate either.

The more important question, readers, is have YOU donated yet?

That’s all for now, folks. Tune in next week as we answer even more of your (hopefully at least kind of) MMA related questions. You know the drill: You can send us questions through our Facebook page. You can tweet them to our Twitter account, as well as hashtag questions with #AskThePotato. You can register for our forums and post your questions there. Or you can just post them in the comments section of this article. Hopefully, you haven’t been asking us questions on that Google+ page we set up, because we still haven’t figured that thing out.

Cagepotato Comments

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mushroomwiz- November 28, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Would Mariusz Pudzianowski's controversial win over James Thompson have been overturned had he not gone Mel Gibson on KSW?
chzhyy- November 28, 2011 at 10:27 am
top boxing films
RwilsonR- November 27, 2011 at 8:53 pm
Given that he can't seem to win fights anymore, do you think it would be a good idea for Rameau Thierry Sokodjou to be cast in a remake of Predator 2? Chandella Powell could play the part of Danny Glover. Thoughts?
Giblets- November 27, 2011 at 7:10 pm
If you where stranded on a desert Island and you could have 5 MMA personalities not on that island cause they seem weird and as annoying as J3T/Frank Mir/The Shaws. Who would they be?
Giblets- November 27, 2011 at 6:46 pm
TRT - Really a medical issue or a loop hole for gear monkeys?
mushroomwiz- November 27, 2011 at 6:33 pm
Why was Alan Goes (? Identity check) in BJ's posse during the weigh ins and ensuing altercation with Diaz? He looked like he was about to get Mayhemed by Team Gracie.
mushroomwiz- November 27, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Who would win in a fight, Dana White or ESPN's "Black Dana White"?
RSparrow- November 27, 2011 at 10:29 am
It didnt seem that racist the first time I wrote it... Jesus Sparrow, get a hold of yourself.
HusseinObama- November 27, 2011 at 5:22 am
Wow, this has to be the worst shit CP has ever produced!
XENOPHON- November 27, 2011 at 12:14 am
Today's Ace - Funny shit FB Frank. Tito's forehead!
Someone get that fuck to do a "lets ask tito" column. Maybe you could called it "lets spike the spud"
fatbellyfrank- November 26, 2011 at 11:23 pm
Dear CP,
Why is Arrianny kissing Tito's forehead?
RwilsonR- November 26, 2011 at 10:34 pm
Who's the black guy who is always hanging outside of home depot with a shopping cart and yelling crazy shit? Like some kinda hype man, wtf?
RwilsonR- November 26, 2011 at 10:16 pm
Shouldn't Arianny be wearing more sensible shoes on the beach?
RwilsonR- November 26, 2011 at 10:11 pm
If any athlete from any other sport, from any generation, could cross over succesfully to MMA, who would it be and why? Is it this man?
RwilsonR- November 26, 2011 at 9:22 pm
Also, I don't know if I agree with your pick of Ishii, either. And you just nailed it last week with Gymkata. I think all that turkey this weekend is going to your head.
RwilsonR- November 26, 2011 at 9:19 pm
Nice try, Potato, but you are wrong - "There are plenty of correct answers to your query..." - Sorry, no there are not.
There is only one correct answer, and despite popular Internet propaganda favoring Fedor or Chuck Norris, it involves neither man. It is JVCD vs Steven Seagall in 1991. Period.
A distant second would be Fedor vs. Couture in 2007 or Bruce Lee vs. Muhammad Ali somewhere between 1968 and 1971. Nice try.
ghostboner- November 26, 2011 at 8:44 pm
Dear Potato - What the hell is a water dog? I heard some redneck roofers talking about "ain't nothin in that pond but them ol water dogs..." MRuss is a part time marine biologist right? Please explain.
Morningwood- November 26, 2011 at 8:31 pm
funny it looks like Arianny is kissing my old man ball sack! Yes, it too is scarred!! Long story, don't even ask.
KarmaAteMyCat- November 26, 2011 at 8:28 pm
thats the most vicious injury you have ever seen in MMA to date?
XENOPHON- November 26, 2011 at 7:24 pm
Now we know who the that old black is, he has a name - its Burt.
Would you stop with the donations already - this place is looking more like the Jerry Lewis marathon. Instead of wasting the ink here, write a letter to the Millers and let them know that bankruptcy is the better-wiser option, and to talk to an attorney on how they can temporarily diverge themselves of the $20k donation in some college, retirement account, or non-profit and use it for a rainy day after their bankruptcy is approved.
As for Anderson Silva, you keep on placing your bet to win CP. Probability says otherwise. Especially since his only upcoming fights are against the same names we have seen for the past few years.
Which fighter is the biggest let down in MMA history. Try some other names. A Korean judoka, from the Olymipic's is a cop out. I suggest you re-vote this one. I;ll give you a guess, with the exception of Baroni, Florian's, Junie Brown, or Joe Son's of the world, most have been former title holders several promotions - just happens the ones I listed came from the UFC. Fitting - their list of flunkies is longest of all.
Which fighter is the best, that is easy its based of win to lose ratio. Gracie is not that guy.
pinkyslayer- November 26, 2011 at 6:51 pm
are you kidding me, Karma? Hector Lombard or Anderson Silva? That's the equivalent of asking "karmaatemycat, or Jose Aldo?"

what a retarded fucking question.
SonOfSerbia- November 26, 2011 at 6:23 pm
The biggest let down of UFC would have to be letting go of Logan and Natasha and hiring Mr. Ed(Chandella) to be a ring girl..I'm almost as let down by that as that side profile shot of Arianny's inverted negative sloping non existent ass in the headline
Steve W- November 26, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Yes, I donated to Dan Miller's. I used the profits from hocking Chinese knock off Gucci purses on this very website. Thanks, Potato!