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Attention Bachelors: It’s Your Lucky Day; Cris Cyborg is On the Market Again

(See, Gabrielle was right. Dreams CAN come true.)

If you started to give up hope that you would ever stand a chance of marrying a female MMA fighter since Miesha Tate and Ronda Rousey are taken and Gina is probably banging busy doing press tours with the cast of Haywire, your Monday is about to get a whole lot better.

Cristiane Santos announced via UOL today that she and her husband Evangelista been living single since December and it sounds like the chances of a reconciliation are about as slim as the odds of testing positive for steroids from a tainted supplement.

Here’s a somewhat confusing translation of her statement about the break-up:

After six years of dedication to the love and happiness of marriage, I would like to inform you that since the month of December 2011 Evangelista Cyborg and I are living our lives separately.

I would like to thank all friends for their words of love and support during this period.

As it may seem hard to never abandon their dreams or discredits in love!

A hug,


No word on who gets to keep the “Cyborg” name in the divorce, but unless Evangelista has been training stand-up hard four days a week for the past year, our money’s on Cris.

Does anyone else hope Blind Date steps in to find Cris a new mate?

Cagepotato Comments

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SP83- February 8, 2012 at 9:28 am
Kid Clam Curtains- ROFL and tapping out!!!
frndlylion- February 7, 2012 at 5:13 pm
A part of me is intrigued at the challenge. But, I'm afraid if you didn't satisfy her she would kick your ass. I just don't need that kind of pressure to perform.
blackboxmma- February 7, 2012 at 8:57 am
Maybe Rogan can make dating her a challenge on fear factor?
Motivated Penn- February 7, 2012 at 3:00 am
Hahaa, Kid Clam Curtains - you cracked me up for real, even though I KNEW a punch line was coming up! Well done.
ytrebil- February 7, 2012 at 2:09 am
10 bucks says her clit is bigger than ron jeremy's dick
macreadysshack- February 6, 2012 at 10:53 pm
Kid Clam Curtains is winning. That was a for reals lol.
mmaandrew34- February 6, 2012 at 10:20 pm
evangelista realized he was married to a man
boober- February 6, 2012 at 9:58 pm
Okay guys, be honest, who clicked the article hoping there would be more pics after the jump?
dranokills- February 6, 2012 at 8:21 pm
I gotta admit 2 things:
#1 Kid Clam curtains, I fucking laughed so hard I snorted....damn it give this man a t-shirt!
#2I'd tap that, I love bitches who can kill me.
Todd M- February 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm
Evangelista just couldn't take the beatings anymore, he deserves someone who treats him right.
snoop dog shit- February 6, 2012 at 7:05 pm
@ Kid Clam Curtains--Literally laughed out loud.
The Highest Primate- February 6, 2012 at 6:36 pm
jesus christ she's a rough looking unit.. anyone who finds her attractive must be either partially gay or have a fetish for lower primates.. she looks like she jerks off knuckles up. i'd bang edwin figeroa before that, less stubble..
bootystar- February 6, 2012 at 6:00 pm
@amsterdamheavy--Doctor says, if you get two see me in the morning at the clinic
Kid Clam Curtains- February 6, 2012 at 5:45 pm
I would love to take her out to a romantic evening...perhaps the opera...maybe the symphony. Follow that with dinner at a fine french restaurant, something with at least 2 Michelin stars. We'd sip fine wine and talk about poetry and current art movements. Then after desert, some fine aperitifs and more deep conversation. I'd tell her of my worldly travels, my love of fine brandy and the pacific ocean. She'd tell me of her dreams and aspirations. Then after some deep kissing and heavy petting, we'd make sweet love on the terrace, under the stars. I'd even let her cum inside me.
amsterdamheavy- February 6, 2012 at 5:18 pm
I cant tell if bootystar is operating at a higher level than the rest of us - or if he has suffered a serious brain injury in the past
bootystar- February 6, 2012 at 4:45 pm
pornstar eats rice'n swaffers & coke zero, the high glycemic index gives her diabetes & she turns into a cow, chick uses juice & stays lean enough for a leading lady-----catptach nsects aMajor
skeletor- February 6, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Well, I'm in! I bet he sucks a mean dick
FattyYarborough- February 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm
I heard Chris Cyborg is shackin up with Chyna from the WWE. I still get confused at which on is evangelista and which one is christina. I actually think they were hermaphroditic twins separated at birth. One got to be a male and one got to be a female(sort of).
valetudorules- February 6, 2012 at 3:57 pm
you can have that mangina
hatulz- February 6, 2012 at 3:42 pm
Finally she'll accept that playboy invitation :)

Here's the translation (how lazy these cagepotato guys are these days, google translate?)
After 6 years of dedication, love and happiness in the marriage, I would like to inform that since december 2011 me and Evangelista are now living separately.

I'd like to thank all my friends for the words of support during this period.

As hard as it looks never ever walk away from your dreams or stop believing in love!
El Guapo- February 6, 2012 at 3:38 pm
I wooooooouuuld, but I'm not a fan of dick meat sammiches. What's that? She's behind me?? AND SHE'S UNZIPPING HER PANTS?!? Fuck! Do you think she heard me? Damn, I thought so. Alright, chill. Just be cool. On the count of three, I'm gonna turn around and Hendo bomb her ass. Whatever you do, don't... fuckin'.... move. One, (dead sprint) RUN!!!!
CrushCo- February 6, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Mike Russell- February 6, 2012 at 3:20 pm
@Fried Taco: Sorry, dude.
Get Off Me- February 6, 2012 at 3:18 pm
He Found Captain Winky!
Fried Taco- February 6, 2012 at 3:13 pm
And I like how you're pretending Ronda is already taken...