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Awful Video of the Day: The McDojo 5th-Degree Black Belt Test

(What you’re about to see…is real. Props: THEWMAAChannel via Reddit/MMA)

You may have already read the depressing accounts of “McDojo”-type martial arts schools written by our own Brian J. D’Souza and Seth Falvo, but here’s some visual proof that the culture of bullshit, bastardized karate/kung fu/whatever is alive and kicking (no pun intended), and still being swallowed up by gullible cult-members.

The above video shows a 5th-degree black belt test held by the World Martial Arts Association, based in Brooklyn, New York. Forget the fact that all these guys move like hyperactive yellow belts, and would all be smashed by anybody with four months of actual striking or grappling training — they’re grandmasters, every last one. Be sure to watch to the end to see a woefully out-of-sync kata demonstration, in which grown-ass men all try desperately to be the first one to finish. IT’S NOT A RACE, TIMMY.

After the jump, “headmaster” Michael T. Dealy freestyles against three attackers. You have never seen so many kicks blocked with forearms in your entire life. Lots more here.

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becausetheitems78- July 18, 2013 at 11:30 pm

Start off right. Crimson lips hook up slowly from his side walked over, and he was just looking forward eyeful empty. Your Highness! Huang Perseus cut back some strange watching her panic up, since these Jiejia people came, she did not see him one, cold, cold, looked at the dead in the eyes, also indifferent, she is her? He did not mind, if not, how should he do? Come, priest JiuJia active, go back reward! Last word, crimson tones children pick high.

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Fat's character let like cats of the people are very's favorite, the same time also give his life sowed the seeds of. Years ago, one days, I am night with friends after dinner is good to go home, the results in the cell's after the doorway saw the him, and at that time He leaned against against the wall, I called a few times Du did not move. At that time respect of find it very strange, the results her husband discovered the wrong, his right retreat has always been carrying the did not dare move.
Bill Clinton- June 20, 2013 at 10:44 am
They have since taken all of their videos down on YouTube.
Deal_the_Seal- June 20, 2013 at 3:20 am
Con los terroristas! Dudududu - dududu - dudududududu...
snoop dog shit- June 19, 2013 at 8:01 pm
Those katas look eerily similar to the hurticane. I'm shocked nobody was actually injured during the demonstration.
intercept440- June 19, 2013 at 7:21 pm
DA FUCK IS DIS????? hell at least when I did kenpo as a kid everytime I advanced a belt I had to stand there and take a fucking kick to the gut...this..this a fucking disgrace to martial arts....
Clyde- June 19, 2013 at 2:52 pm
I'm not sure if I laughed more at the video or the comments, but dear god that was amazing. They have disabled the youtube comments so they must know they're shit. Definitely not to be confused with knowing their shit. I'm not sure they were actually doing a kata as that looked more freestyled than the freestyle with the master.
Snitches_get_stitches- June 19, 2013 at 2:37 pm
I can't believe I wasted my time watching that....
MyFightWiffaCheeto- June 19, 2013 at 2:27 pm
That fourth guy looked explosive and athletic.
Mr_Misanthropy- June 19, 2013 at 1:12 pm
Worst krumpin ever.
SethF- June 19, 2013 at 12:48 pm
*In R. Lee Ermey voice*

cman- June 19, 2013 at 12:24 pm
I'm just shocked they didn't do that to 'its raining men'.
J. Spaceman- June 19, 2013 at 12:12 pm
Hold on a second, are we *sure* these guys aren't retarded? It's not that I won't make fun of retards, I just want to know what I'm dealing with.
Get Off Me- June 19, 2013 at 12:06 pm
My Kiai master Ryukerin would eat these guys up, his record is 200-1.
Fried Taco- June 19, 2013 at 11:50 am
Luckily the board just stands there and lets him have as many chances as he needs.
WampaStompa- June 19, 2013 at 11:47 am
I try never to be that pretentious MMA fan who looks down on traditional martial arts, but after seeing that. Shit.....
crappiefloper- June 19, 2013 at 11:13 am
I got nothin. Still processing what I just saw
MorningwoodII- June 19, 2013 at 11:11 am
It's choreography like this that made Broc Lesner think he could be a real MMA fighter.
fucka fish- June 19, 2013 at 10:59 am
Let Jose Aldo kick any of those guys and lets see them block it with their forearm... I didn't even say Pat Barry because I don't think they deserve the death sentence.
Phattousai- June 19, 2013 at 10:54 am
Almost instantly after watching those two videos, I got an email from the WMAA(Not to be confused with WAMMA) that I'd learned enough to have earned my 2nd degree Black Belt.
keepyahguessing- June 19, 2013 at 10:38 am
im in awe of that nonsense, i think contact was made twice and someone maybe once or twice actually had their hands up but they probably had an itch...its cool as a kid to say you have a blackbelt then 2nd grade hits!...people are like "oh your train muay thai?,thats like karate right?..what belt are you" my response is "there are no belts" they say "oh" as if dissappointed to which i reply "im 4-0(ammy) against people who are really trying to fight me"
Fried Taco- June 19, 2013 at 11:42 am
I've seen people actually claim to have a belt rank in Muay Thai. Always wonder where they got it from.
SethF- June 19, 2013 at 11:55 am
Read the link on my name in the article. Yep, your humble resident (former) drunkass once trained at a gym that offered Muay Thai belt ranks...
mookiestick- June 19, 2013 at 10:24 am
It's embarassing to watch. I'm a first degree and it make feel angry that belts can be handed out like that. But Dojo's are like anything else. You have your Harvard's, KStates', Univerity of Pheonix's and your ITT's. You can get a degree from any of them but some mean more than others.
netterbog- June 19, 2013 at 10:23 am
Is this Dwight's Dojo?
masterbaitntackle- June 19, 2013 at 10:04 am
Shame on y'all....exploiting the mentally retarded for our own amusement like that....
RearNakedSpoon- June 19, 2013 at 9:52 am
Fried Taco- June 19, 2013 at 11:41 am
These are only 3rd degree black belts.
Hexed79- June 19, 2013 at 9:51 am
This reminds me of the old Andy Milonakis bit where he tries to use the old lady as a coupon for Chinese food. Except they're all saying, "I'm a black belt."