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Awful Video of the Day: The McDojo 5th-Degree Black Belt Test


(What you’re about to see…is real. Props: THEWMAAChannel via Reddit/MMA)

You may have already read the depressing accounts of “McDojo”-type martial arts schools written by our own Brian J. D’Souza and Seth Falvo, but here’s some visual proof that the culture of bullshit, bastardized karate/kung fu/whatever is alive and kicking (no pun intended), and still being swallowed up by gullible cult-members.

The above video shows a 5th-degree black belt test held by the World Martial Arts Association, based in Brooklyn, New York. Forget the fact that all these guys move like hyperactive yellow belts, and would all be smashed by anybody with four months of actual striking or grappling training — they’re grandmasters, every last one. Be sure to watch to the end to see a woefully out-of-sync kata demonstration, in which grown-ass men all try desperately to be the first one to finish. IT’S NOT A RACE, TIMMY.

After the jump, “headmaster” Michael T. Dealy freestyles against three attackers. You have never seen so many kicks blocked with forearms in your entire life. Lots more here.

Comments

  1. ahjotag Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 07:46


    This is why we can't have nice things, you guys.
  2. algiersheadkick504 Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 07:54


    Ohh so this isn't the TKD part of the special Olympics? Damn this guys have no hope anyone on the street can still smash these guys
  3. knucklesamitch Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 07:56


    That looked like a bunch of 8 years who are "playing" karate in their back yard, followed by the worst flash mob I've ever seen.
  4. Onan Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 08:05


    The saddest part is that people actually pay real money for that garbage. I would have loved to see some random dude from the audience step out and offer to challenge the headmaster or any 3 students to fight right then and there.
  5. J.Jones Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 08:05


    You see? Mac from Always Sunny really DID know karate!
  6. algiersheadkick504 Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 08:11


    *new joke* this is way mma is illegal in new York..maybe if mma fights were more like above they would expect it. The most unmartial unart I've ever seen
  7. mma4everbitchs Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 08:19


    What's a martial arts association?
  8. coolsnow7 Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 08:32


    My eyes are bleeding
  9. macreadysshack Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 08:34


    Thank God for Karate/TKD/Kung-fu. These styles are awesome for people who don't deserve to actually be able to handle their business on the street. Maybe im just resentful because these styles broke my little heart when i realized i spent all that time and money on something that was actually counterproductive. Id have seriously been better off windmilling like a monkey on
  10. The12ozCurls Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 08:48


    It looked like a meeting for Epileptics Anonymous
  11. Fried Taco Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 09:13


    What happens if they have to fight a guy with no torso?!?
  12. Richard Fitzentite Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 09:36


    When I was watching this I was making those "whosh" sounds and the were kicking and blocking.
  13. Richard Fitzentite Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 09:39


    This is the scientology of martial arts.
  14. blackboxmma Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 09:47


    Traditional martial arts is suppose to teach and instill values that make you a better person. It’s not just about the most effective way to choke someone out and break an arm or jaw. I’m afraid that the higher definition and reason for martial arts is lost in today’s MMA schools.
  15. Hexed79 Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 09:51


    This reminds me of the old Andy Milonakis bit where he tries to use the old lady as a coupon for Chinese food. Except they're all saying, "I'm a black belt." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REQx66FYgO8
  16. RearNakedSpoon Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 09:52


    http://i.imgur.com/Hjcxy.gif
  17. masterbaitntackle Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 10:04


    Shame on y'all....exploiting the mentally retarded for our own amusement like that....
  18. SethF Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 10:11


    You'll have to forgive me for assuming that martial arts was the purpose of a martial arts school. But based on how "well" they teach the actual fighting art, it wouldn't surprise me if they teach their students how noble it is to steal purses.
  19. netterbog Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 10:23


    Is this Dwight's Dojo? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO-T3SNiRpk
  20. mookiestick Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 10:24


    It's embarassing to watch. I'm a first degree and it make feel angry that belts can be handed out like that. But Dojo's are like anything else. You have your Harvard's, KStates', Univerity of Pheonix's and your ITT's. You can get a degree from any of them but some mean more than others.
  21. keepyahguessing Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 10:38


    im in awe of that nonsense, i think contact was made twice and someone maybe once or twice actually had their hands up but they probably had an itch...its cool as a kid to say you have a blackbelt then 2nd grade hits!...people are like "oh your train muay thai?,thats like karate right?..what belt are you" my response is "there are no belts" they say "oh" as if dissappointed to which i reply "im 4-0(ammy) against people who are really trying to fight me"
  22. Phattousai Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 10:54


    Almost instantly after watching those two videos, I got an email from the WMAA(Not to be confused with WAMMA) that I'd learned enough to have earned my 2nd degree Black Belt.
  23. fucka fish Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 10:59


    Let Jose Aldo kick any of those guys and lets see them block it with their forearm... I didn't even say Pat Barry because I don't think they deserve the death sentence.
  24. MorningwoodII Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 11:11


    It's choreography like this that made Broc Lesner think he could be a real MMA fighter.
  25. crappiefloper Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 11:13


    I got nothin. Still processing what I just saw
  26. Fried Taco Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 11:41


    These are only 3rd degree black belts.
  27. Fried Taco Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 11:42


    I've seen people actually claim to have a belt rank in Muay Thai. Always wonder where they got it from.
  28. WampaStompa Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 11:47


    I try never to be that pretentious MMA fan who looks down on traditional martial arts, but after seeing that. Shit.....
  29. Fried Taco Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 11:50


    Luckily the board just stands there and lets him have as many chances as he needs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKfkfHsnjg8
  30. SethF Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 11:55


    Read the link on my name in the article. Yep, your humble resident (former) drunkass once trained at a gym that offered Muay Thai belt ranks...
  31. Get Off Me Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 12:06


    My Kiai master Ryukerin would eat these guys up, his record is 200-1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XlUWH2vMWs
  32. J. Spaceman Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 12:12


    Hold on a second, are we *sure* these guys aren't retarded? It's not that I won't make fun of retards, I just want to know what I'm dealing with.
  33. cman Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 12:24


    I'm just shocked they didn't do that to 'its raining men'.
  34. SethF Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 12:48


    *In R. Lee Ermey voice* YOU DEMONSTRATE KATA LIKE MARRIED PEOPLE FUCK! YOU KNOW THAT, GRANDMASTER TIMMY?
  35. Mr_Misanthropy Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 01:12


    Worst krumpin ever.
  36. MyFightWiffaCheeto Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 02:27


    That fourth guy looked explosive and athletic.
  37. Snitches_get_stitches Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 02:37


    I can't believe I wasted my time watching that....
  38. Clyde Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 02:52


    I'm not sure if I laughed more at the video or the comments, but dear god that was amazing. They have disabled the youtube comments so they must know they're shit. Definitely not to be confused with knowing their shit. I'm not sure they were actually doing a kata as that looked more freestyled than the freestyle with the master.
  39. TellaTruth Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 04:51


    i wish i had unseen it.
  40. intercept440 Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 07:21


    DA FUCK IS DIS????? hell at least when I did kenpo as a kid everytime I advanced a belt I had to stand there and take a fucking kick to the gut...this..this ..is a fucking disgrace to martial arts....
  41. snoop dog shit Says:

    Wed, 06/19/13 - 08:01


    Those katas look eerily similar to the hurticane. I'm shocked nobody was actually injured during the demonstration. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jW4POr1ZNLc
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    Thu, 06/20/13 - 03:20


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  43. Bill Clinton Says:

    Thu, 06/20/13 - 10:44


    They have since taken all of their videos down on YouTube.
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