OK LAS you've convinced everyone now. You're always right. I seriously don't think you've made one comment on this site about actual MMA.

@ LAS, just remembered caught up with family over the holiday, one of my cousins said a fresh tomato sandwich, fresh white bread, fresh tomato salt and pepper is pretty good for what ails you the morning after, and this from a women whose been thru 3 fairly heavy duty pregnancies, so she knows what a gutsache feels like!

@ LAS Who is the mythical average fan?, Wouldn't be to much of a stretch, and predominantly is possibly a fair assumption, however I'd suggest its not as cut and dried as you think

but please spare me the advice (and you want to talk about being condescending, dude?).OK fair point, but IMO you treat every post as if it's a political science lecture, if thats just your style fair enough, but if theres something really interesting in one of your middle paragraphs, most of us have already breezed by it ( There goes LAS again, off on a political lecture, might just scroll down and see who Drano's givin a Bag-O-Dicks to today), I think I may have said it in a previous comment to you, you say Tomato, I say Tomaato.

The date and ginger jelly is verra tasty as well as a good colon blow, a spoonful in your oatmeal would go down a treat in my IMO, and your stomach has my sympathies, cuppla cans of coke, cuppla cheeseburgers and you'll be back in the saddle again.

In closing, I will suggest that we may disagree on further issues down the line, if you could refrain from suggesting we're all right wing redneck hillbilly's, I'll ensure I don't refer to you as a condescending jackass. I must admit I've learnt more about American Politics on here in the last week or so than I've ever done. Looking forward to further discourse regarding random shit.

Yours in Dick Jokes
FatbellyFrank

Who is the mythical average fan? Try the comments section at MMA junkie, frank. Is it really that much of a stretch to suggest that MMA largely appeals to a demographic groups that are predominantly conservative politically?

You know, I'm more than happy to trade dick jokes, but please spare me the advice (and you want to talk about being condescending, dude?). If I want to learn how to win friends and influence people, I'm sure I've got some Barnes and Noble gift cards from last year I could waste after browsing the self-help section.

That date and ginger Jelly sounds great; oatmeal is my preferred morning colon blow. Unforunately, I about shit my pants multiple times this today, thanks to a dinner of a gallon of IPA and some greezy fish and chips. Thanks a lot, shitty fake Irish pub.

^FBF always smooth as ice.

@ LAS Says "Seriously, if you're going to politically grandstand, you should try not sounding like a retard."
Take some of your own advice, lighten the fuck up man, all your comments seem to come across as condescending jibber, and who is this mythical average MMA fan you speak of? The only rights and lefts I wanna hear about on this website are the ones that knock mofo's out.
I would imagine there are plenty of web sites you can satisfy your hankering for political debate, but CP ain't it. We're the dick joke crowd remember, we like random hot sluts, punch faces and semi intelligent discourse on matter's MMA.
If you don't like it fuck off, but as you say "I ain't going anywhere" so just get iin the spirit of things and try not to come across as such a condescending jack ass.

I also had some great smelling farts, I've got a Date and Ginger Jelly I have on my toast for breakfast and its got me running like a brass band all day

I'll try to avoid getting long-winded on this, but I find it irksome that politically-minded comments always get drug into the shitty end of the pool on this site and other sites like it. I'm sure this is in part because I lean left, and the average MMA fan leans right. However, it chapped my ass that rather than taking a comment about Volkmann on it's own terms, you attempted to paint me as some kind of democratic party sympathizer, as if we'd all either choose to lick the president's asshole or punch his lights out if given the choice.

Really, what Volkmann said was dumb (again, not so much the criticism itself, but mostly the way he put it), and, believe it or not, this kind of shit does matter, because politics and what people believe matters. Yes, we're not deciding the fate of the world, but I think it's nice when you can call a spade a spade and not have to worry about being accused of being an ideologue. It would be great if, rather than people getting their shit in a bunch every time someone takes a fighter's poorly-expressed political opinions to task, people actually considered that something doesn't have to jive with your own personal political beliefs to be valid. Criticizing Obama care while talking about punching out the president makes the dude sound like a dumb fucking hillbilly, and by association, makes us as fans look like a bunch of dumb fucking hillbillies because this is the kind of shit MMA fighters say in public.

And, FYI, I had some great-smelling farts today; it must have been the burritos I made this week.

Not being able to take it? I just said I was done because I get that everyone is annoyed with these political discussions. I did single out your comment, but you broadened it from there, and I don't want to have a point by point argument followed up with meaningless insults. If you need to think of that as a concession, then fine. I just said I'm not going to continue it. So have your say. Sniff your farts and daintilly sip your own semen while you read your posts over and over again, and congratulate yourself on your brilliance. You actually seem like a decent enough fellow when we aren't getting into it over politics, so as I just said, I'm not going to argue about this anymore. It is pointless, and in the meantime, there are some much more entertaining comments going on elsewhere on this site.

Again, the irony train is just running full steam here today. Armfarmer gives me a lecture about how our society is 'plumetting down the gutter' before informing me how handing RWR a plateful of his own ass was 'immature.' So much for not contradicting yourself.

Seriously, RWR, I don't mind spirited debate, but when you single me out personally when I've chipped in my two cents on the story, I don't have a problem making you look like a dumbass. The right is holding up Volkmann as some kind of folk hero (a google search makes this painfully apparent), which is fucking ridiculous. If you don't agree, I'd love to hear your counterargument, but please, don't dish it out if you can't take it.

Las, you have a pretty godamn strange way of judging somethings importance. Dodson and Snooki can be billionaires for all I care.. it does not make them important in the sense that they actually matter. Being rich, being on tv, having jay leno make a joke about you.. the fact that you use these things as evidence to support someone's importance.. I mean seriously? These things do not indicate that these people are important, it's only an indication that our society is plummeting down the gutter.

Oh, and I don't give a fuck about politics. I just thought your rant was kind of immature.. and you contradicted yourself.

^^ Good point Fred.

Like Mofo said, this shit would've been funny if Conan did it. And even worse, since it was on Leno that means Bob Reilly saw this and will be using it to show how dangerous these UFC guys are.

Racist. Wait, Obama wasn't born in this country and he isn't black.

LAS - it's always fun to hear you discuss your heightened opinion of yourself. Although, I think it was the Secret Service visit that made this national news, and not necessarily Volkmann's 'grandstanding.'

But El Guapo is right. No more in-fighting today, for me. I won't even bother with the JD over MBA proclamation, or how a 'gentleman's C' compares to Affirmative Action. I'm done with the politics of it all, as I never really cared what Volkmann thought either way. Any more than I care what Jeff Monson thinks, but it was amusing seeing him mean mugging those cops.

Now, I'll be the first to admit I love stirring shit up, Emerill style. "Let's kick it up anotha notch. Do you like gahlic? BAM! How's about spicy? BAM! BAM!" Make that CP Stew boil, nawsayin?

But all this infighting is getting ridiculous. It's like when you're rough housing with the homies. It's all good clean fun when everybody's sober and going half ass, but once the liquor kicks in fools start getting busted faces and/or choked the f'k out. I'm afraid somebody's gonna get hurt. So, I feel it's my duty to impose a ban on all religious, political and racially themed threads*. The new imposition is effective immediately and failing to adhere by its' rules and regulations will result in banishment to Sherdog. Thank you for you prompt attention to this matter.

your move Coco...

^ *Until tomorrow

Go tell the people who made a mint selling Antoine Dodson costumes this year, or the executives at MTV who got fat bonuses for greenlighting Jersey Shore, that minor celebrity, no matter how you obtain it, isn't imporant.

Really, armfarmer, you and RWR just sound butthurt that the secret service shit on your fantasy of Volkmann really showing the president what's up. Don't deny that the last minute of that interview didn't immediately end up your "spank bank."

Enough about politics! This is a mma website, so lets talk about important things like fisting.

@RWilsonR

Who's the senstive one here? It's clearly a big fucking deal when a guy makes national news for an offhand comment and gets spoofed by Leno...which is exactly why CP posted this and we're having this discussion.

And, to your points: I'm sure even someone "not too bright" like yourself is smart enough to understand the concept of the "gentleman's C" at Yale, and that B-school and law school involve two completely separate realms of intelligence.

Also, if what Volkman was doing isn't political grandstanding, given that he went on to bitch and moan about specific policies (you have actually seen the whole video, right?), I'm not sure exactly what is. And what part of ad hominem is confusing to you? Calling someone an idiot to attempt to discredit something they did or said is the very definition of that term.

Like I said, there are plenty of things to shit on Obama for, but given that MMA inherently appeals to a conservative fan base (latte-sippin' liberals are presumably too busy listening to NPR to keep up with cage fighting), you're not likely to see many fighters critiquing the military industrial complex, as you suggest might please me.

So, until then, you'll have to stop being such a giant suckass pussy (it's best to save your ad hominem insults until after you've made your point; see how this works?) any time I air my flagrantly commie pinko views on this site, because (barring a name-change by MRuss), I ain't going anywhere.

Las layin the ad hobs on thick.. and coming off pretty childish in the process. Way to save them til after you made your point like you said.. except for the ones at the very beginning.

By the way, Antoine Dodson made national news for weeks.. so does Snooki.. so by your logic, they are pretty godamn important?

How dare he break Mariah Carey's picture! Some nerve...

Fuck. I fucking hate Jay Fucking Leno. Fer Fuck's sake, man. I'd rather listen to Chael Sonnen shit water out of his mouth.

And with that image, I'll away.

I think that is pretty badass that both Volkmann and Helwani made it on the Tonight Show.

@ LAS - lighten the fuck up! Volkmann was not 'politically grandstanding' or 'hurling ad hominem insults' like you make it out to be. Yeah, he said Obama wasn't too bright, but it wasn't like Volkmann went out of his way to find someone to interview him where he could shout his point of view to anyone who would listen. He made an off-handed remark about Obama in a back hallway interview after a fight. Big fucking deal. You talk about the thin-skinned conservatives on this site who are upset when they are constantly poked with a stick by some of the writers. So stop being so fucking thin-skinned yourself. If he said something you agreed with - Bush being not that bright, or about the imperialistic American military industrial complex, or the illegal wars in Iraq or Afghanistan perpetrated by that war criminal Dick Cheney - you wouldn't be saying he was 'grandstanding' or 'hurling...insults,' and you know it. And I'm sure you've made more than your fair share of comments about Bush's intelligence (who hasn't), and he has degrees from both Harvard and Yale.

@ video - "except, possibly Ron Paul or Castro"? Interesting choices.

It's good to see that Obama is still acting to please idiots.

I don't care how smart/fucking retarded Volkmann is. 2 Reasons: I'd side with the worst piece of shit MMA fighter, any fucking day of the week, before I side with any politician, EVER. (Except, possibly Ron Paul or Castro.)

And B: Volkmann sounds like Venkman from....you know...fuckin Ghostbusters.

On top of that. If Jay Leno can be such a horrible comedian while being world's most successful down-syndrome person on earth.......I don't know what else I can say.

Obama FTW!! Yes, Bush was more explosive and had much better striking, but he could never secure the finish. Always went for the kill(hundreds of thousands, to be exact)but he just could never get the finish..

IT WORKED!! Its getting him attention.

Honestly I barely knew who this guy was a week ago. I can't remember any of his fights. This has probably done more for his career than most of the fights he's won.

@LAS

Hey, Volkmann is a chiropractor. If you can't trust the expert opinion of a professional back-cracker, then who can you trust?

A cage fighter calls the guy with a Yale JD "not too bright": here comes the irony train! Next stop, Jacob Volkmann's house!

Seriously, if you're going to politically grandstand, you should try not sounding like a retard. There are plenty of critiques to be made of Obamacare, but none of them begin by hurling ad hominem insults at the president.

Obama snuck up on Volkmann like he snuck up on the American people! AND did the same thing to us as he did Volkmann!

I'm surprised how big this news has gotten. Seems like publicity whores like Tito and Sonnen should make some presidential threats to 'boost their brand'.

Wow. The big news is that Leno finally hired a writer worth paying.

Now if they could just get someone else to deliver the lines... someone funny... tall... with red hair....

Nice. Looks like the secret service know CGI.