("I’m sorry, what was your name again?" PicProps: Sherdog)
Thank God that Josh Barnett only did a couple of the things he threatened to do to Geronimo dos Santos at Impact FC in Brisbane last night. Despite his threats to the contrary, reports from Sherdog’s Jordan Breen – who was cageside for the event — indicate that Barnett’s short-and-sweet win over dos Santos in the main event of the upstart Australian promotion went strictly according to the unified rules. And no, that is not a euphemism.
The former UFC heavyweight champion took his enormo Brazilian opponent down and achieved full mount twice during the 2 minute, 45 second contest and eventually used a barrage of strikes from behind dos Santos to force John McCarthy to call the fight. Dos Santos attempted to protest the stoppage, but reportedly failed the “What the fuck is your problem?” test with his unsure, rubbery legs.
For Parisyan, it was his first win since 2007 and his first appearance since a public grappling match with drug addiction, injuries and panic attacks led to his UFC dismissal last year. Parisyan’s bout was originally supposed to be the “co-main event” of Impact FC, but Breen reported that the fighter requested to be bumped up to the first fight of the night in order to relieve the apparent suffering of his family.
"This was my first fight that I was away from my family, and I knew they were freaking out at home," Parisyan told Sherdog. "My sister was at home throwing up. I felt like it would be better for them, and for me, if I fought first, and I could get it over with so they could stop worrying."
Uh, sure, nothing weird about that. Parisyan also reportedly did not look in great shape en route to a second-round submission win over Ben Mortimer. Baby steps, Karo, baby steps.
Meanwhile, Sokoudjou battered Joaquim "Mamute" Ferreira both on the feet and on the floor before a stoppage 1:20 into the first round, while Monson ended a two-fight losing streak by overcoming some initial struggles with the height and reach of 6-foot-4, 250-pound Ubiratan Lima Marinho to earn a unanimous decision win.
After weighing-in four pounds over the 170-pound limit, Newton by all accounts looked thoroughly done as a fighter in the latter stages of his bout against Ebersole. For much of the final two rounds, Newton appeared spent and served as a glorified punching bag for Ebersole, who has now won five in a row.
So, you know, nothing could possibly go wrong with that.