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Bas Rutten Is the Next Jerry Seinfeld, Jay-Z


Following up their beloved “Dear Don” feature, has given Bas Rutten his own column called “Who’s the Bas?” (Clever!) In the first installment, Rutten tries his hand at Seinfeld-esque observational humor. Here’s what he has to say about airports:

For some reason, there are people – even after all these years – who still don’t know that you have to take all the metal out of your pockets, take your laptop out of the bag, take off your shoes, etc. How can they not know? Is this their first time on an airport in the last five years?

And hotels:

I never like the pillows in hotels. I don’t know what it is. I always bring my own pillow. That’s a travel tip I recommend for everyone. Having your own pillow with you is never a bad idea, trust me. You’d be surprised what a difference it makes.

And avoiding contact with other people’s filthy hands:

One of the reasons I stay in my room, though, is that I prefer to eat up there. It’s not that I don’t want to be around anyone (I don’t want you to think I’m some kind of jerk), but if I’m eating in a hotel people will want to come up to me and shake hands. I don’t mind, but that’s one of the easiest ways to pass germs from one person to another, and here I am eating. This, my friends, is why I recommend the fist bump. It’s the same kind of physical gesture, but it’s hygienic! People tell me sometimes that they think it’s strange. Maybe, but it’s no more strange than shaking hands. What, I’m going to hold another person’s hand in mine and move it up and down for a few seconds and that’s not strange? No, thanks. I’d rather do the fist bump. It may be strange, but at least I can go back to eating my meal without worrying about the germs I’ve just picked up from holding another person’s hand.

Did we say Seinfeld? We meant Rooney.

And speaking of Bas, click here for the funkiest jam you’ve ever heard. Who knew El Guapo had such a sick flow?

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the guy who isn't stupid- January 23, 2008 at 7:53 am
bas is my hero, not only can he bitch slap people to submission he's totally badass about it.