(Props: Fight Magazine)
Most of the time when people begin sentences with the phrase, "Funny story…" the one thing you can count on is that you’re about to hear a story that is only funny in the eyes of its teller. That is, except when the teller is Bas Rutten. When "El Guapo" begins sentences that way, what usually follows is a story about someone getting badly beat up, and usually that story will be oddly funny in a violently bizarre way.
For instance, in this case Rutten tells a tale about how he went from being a sickly kid who got picked on to a neighborhood terror who hunted down former bullies in order to give them their comeuppance. Then he and some friends are hanging out at a bar where a strange woman gets knocked unconscious into Rutten’s arms and, as it often does in these situations, hilarity ensues. You know, after somebody punched a woman. Don’t worry, I’m sure she was okay. Well, not okay, but you get the point.
Barely related: Ten Things "Roadhouse" Taught Us About Fighting


Imagine if your mom was Lenne Hardt and you let Bas get randy with her? The awesome meter would flip over and burst into flames!