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‘Beatdown’ Caption Contest, Part 1 — The Winners!

(Photoprops: CageWriter)

Thanks to everybody who submitted captions for yesterday’s Beatdown contest; the general consensus was that Marcus Davis looks like a cross between E.T., Rocky Dennis, Sloth from The Goonies, the Elephant Man, and one of several characters from Total Recall. So who will go home with a copy of Beatdown (out today on DVD and Blu-Ray)? First some honorable mentions…

LikeTheWhiskey: This is what happens when you say "I’m a Yankees fan" in Boston.

Sudos KFC: the only thing the townsfolk would later agree on was that Quasimodo was never seen in the 209 again.

Dirt: "The doc said I’d look 10 years younger"

MoTropolis: "I think I’m allergic to getting punched in the face repeatedly."

The Stockton Makeover!
Get yours today!
Just call 1-800-420-DIAZ

dxhernandez: Shortly before, the man to the left began to have an acid flashback from two hits of acid he had dropped at a 1985 KISS concert. As Marcus Davis approached he looked on with horror while trying to differentiate between reality and "fuuuuuuuu……"

ReX13: "Don’t be scarred, homey"
[Ed. note: As an increasingly visible contributor to CagePotato, we'll say that ReX is disqualified from winning contests for a while. But come on, how brilliant is that.

And now the winners…

The Fresh One: The "Irish Hand Grenade" sporting a new pair of Irish sunglasses.

Cecil Peoples: "I just don’t see it."
Earth: "How the hell can you NOT see it?"
Cecil Peoples: "Who’s it on again? That guy on the left or that lady in the hat? Point to it for me"
Earth: "What lady?! There’s a big fucking arrow pointed right at it!"
Cecil Peoples: "Arrow? what arrow?"

weedrulz15: As we have heard almost all announcers say, punches from Nick and Nate Diaz do not, in fact, hurt you, but they’re more annoying/irritating than anything, obviously.

ccman: This is what you get for staring directly into Cyborg’s crotch.

If your name has been called, please e-mail with your real name, address, and format preference (DVD or Blu-Ray) and we’ll get a copy of Beatdown out to you ASAP. Thanks for playing; come back Thursday morning for round 2…

Cagepotato Comments

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ghostboner- August 31, 2010 at 11:07 pm
Danomite wins. All were good, but Dano was better.

@Rex - Uh dood, I think you spelt scared wrong.
EDoggFunkMonk- August 31, 2010 at 9:12 pm
"Watching too many Jake Shield's fights???" No, being in a Jake Shield's fight. This is the only known stoppage Shield's is capable off: "TKO by Pink Eye."
Loretta Cunt- August 31, 2010 at 8:30 pm
the result of watching too many jake shields fights
I Work At Initech- August 31, 2010 at 5:26 pm
Wow, it looks like he is smuggling a vagina on the side of his face.
mt59801- August 31, 2010 at 4:40 pm
You guys did this completely wrong! Every registered user of Cage Potato should have received a copy a of this "movie" to watch and the contest winner should have been spared.

I'm also a little confused by the title, is this a work of fiction or just a recap of Bisping and Lashley's last fights?
John Kimble- August 31, 2010 at 2:24 pm
Personally, i think the prize is funnier than any comment.
Mofo- August 31, 2010 at 2:10 pm
Dog Dicks, you bite your tongue. Nothing could be worse than receiving "Beatdown" in the mail.

It's like getting a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep.

He called the shit "poop".
KINGMADE- August 31, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Mine was still the best. Marcus: "Who said we could bring ugly sticks" come on that was good.
Dog Dicks Magoo- August 31, 2010 at 1:42 pm
Getting a copy of that movie is actually worse than winning the caption contest.
Charming Charlie- August 31, 2010 at 1:01 pm
I thought the first was the funniest. Baaaaby Ruuuth
philoebeddoe- August 31, 2010 at 12:28 pm
Danomite - LMAO MAN!!!!!!
Mr_Misanthropy- August 31, 2010 at 12:26 pm
Good captions. Fuck the prizes, it's all about the e-cred at the CP.
Mofo- August 31, 2010 at 11:28 am
ccman's caption is head and shoulders above the rest.

As is the thanks for nuthin assholes courteous and gracious acceptance letter.
EDoggFunkMonk- August 31, 2010 at 11:26 am
The runner ups are funnier than the winners. Wait, this is one of those bait and switch things. The winners are actually losers because they get a copy of the movie. Not that's funny!!!
Mofo- August 31, 2010 at 11:20 am
Dude - "ET" alone made me do a spit take. I couldn't read past that becuase my lunch was all over my monitor.

"Beatdown"? What can I do to ensure I will NOT win a copy of that?

@MoTroplis - The first rule in fight club is that you do not talk about the 209.

Ballkick- August 31, 2010 at 10:53 am

I'm not your guy, Pal

Shaky- August 31, 2010 at 10:44 am
I'm not your buddy, guy

Canadians are cooler than you, isn't that why you all where maple leafs when you travel (I'm not canadian btw).
yousaypotato- August 31, 2010 at 10:31 am
@RwilsonR- Canadians? I will have to keep that in mind and remember to take the wit out of my submissions.........damn, I'm burning that bridge again! I'm never going to win anything.
Ballkick- August 31, 2010 at 10:20 am
Give Contraband a t-shirt....the movie is lame.
Contraband- August 31, 2010 at 10:12 am
Well I think I've had enough honorable mentions to deserve a prize
Ballkick- August 31, 2010 at 10:10 am

Eh.....I am offended by your blatant disregard for Canadian humor.
What aboot...Dan Akroyd, Jim Carrey, John Candy, Tommy Chong, Norm McDonald, Howie Mandel, The cast of "Kids in the Hall", Mike Myers, Terance and Phillip, Seth Rogan, and many others,....they all speak to our great sense of humor.
No way we do not get the joke,......Ok Buddeh?

*extra points for anyone who can help finish this South Park dialog*
see the episode....Canada on Strike!
steampunk22- August 31, 2010 at 9:58 am

danomite- August 31, 2010 at 9:54 am
Yeah, before I read the winners I saw that the honorable mentions blew my other submissions out of the water. I was sure I wasn't winning anything. I just type in every joke that comes to my mind, because everybody has a different sense of humor and might prefer the ones that I don't think are that funny. I still might not win anything though, since I thought it would be funny to insult ben in my acceptance e-mail. As long as I don't get banned I'll be fine. I think after coming here for so long I have lost the ability to turn off the douche button.
Boo- August 31, 2010 at 9:45 am
danomite ftw
ccman- August 31, 2010 at 9:28 am
FYI: i think you got robbed Contraband, honestly. the 420 prefix cracked me up.