(Arianny Celeste and Matt Leinart mimic emotions together.)
If you’ve ever thought that a radio hosting gig was your key to scoring chicks, then you’ve obviously never met Steve Cofield. But if you want to try it out anyway, while also getting close to UFC Octagon girl Arianny Celeste in order to dazzle her with your smooth voice and razor wit, this is your chance. Cofield is hyping a charity auction to host an hour of radio with Arianny, Dana White, Chuck Liddell, or a bunch of other MMA stars on ESPN 1100 in Vegas. The proceeds from this auction and radiothon go to benefit the cancer foundation The Caring Place, so it’s all for a good cause.
The best part though, is that this could finally be the opportunity you’ve been waiting for to make an impression on Arianny (or Chuck Liddell, if you are a chick who has somehow not already slept with Chuck Liddell). Just in case you win the auction, here’s our step-by-step instructions for wooing Arianny during your hour of radio time together:
1) Tell her she’s your second-favorite Octagon girl next to Logan.
2) Arrange to have a female friend call in to the show and praise your charity work not only with cancer foundations, but also with cute animals and retards.
3) Explain that you have to leave mid-way through the hour because the children’s hospital where you work as a highly paid surgeon just paged you.
4) Punch Cofield in the throat on the way out, just to show you’re not some pussy.
That should do it. We patiently await the invitation to your wedding.