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Because Arianny Celeste Can’t Fall in Love With You If She Doesn’t Get to Know You

(Arianny Celeste and Matt Leinart mimic emotions together.)

If you’ve ever thought that a radio hosting gig was your key to scoring chicks, then you’ve obviously never met Steve Cofield.  But if you want to try it out anyway, while also getting close to UFC Octagon girl Arianny Celeste in order to dazzle her with your smooth voice and razor wit, this is your chance.  Cofield is hyping a charity auction to host an hour of radio with Arianny, Dana White, Chuck Liddell, or a bunch of other MMA stars on ESPN 1100 in Vegas.  The proceeds from this auction and radiothon go to benefit the cancer foundation The Caring Place, so it’s all for a good cause.  

The best part though, is that this could finally be the opportunity you’ve been waiting for to make an impression on Arianny (or Chuck Liddell, if you are a chick who has somehow not already slept with Chuck Liddell).  Just in case you win the auction, here’s our step-by-step instructions for wooing Arianny during your hour of radio time together:

1) Tell her she’s your second-favorite Octagon girl next to Logan.

2) Arrange to have a female friend call in to the show and praise your charity work not only with cancer foundations, but also with cute animals and retards.

3) Explain that you have to leave mid-way through the hour because the children’s hospital where you work as a highly paid surgeon just paged you.

4) Punch Cofield in the throat on the way out, just to show you’re not some pussy.

That should do it.  We patiently await the invitation to your wedding. 

Cagepotato Comments

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Clyde- July 17, 2009 at 5:14 am
I'd ammend 4 to punch out Liddell and then armbar Cofield to show you're not a pussy and well rounded too.

Best make it a sucker punch though, I wouldn't anticipate too much fight from Cofield but Chuck's not easy to submit. Either way, it'll be a great story to tell your grandkids about how you met. And how you banged Ariany Celeste, which will disturb them greatly since she's their Grandma.

El Famous Burrito, awesome BTW.
rokabee- July 16, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Ben, forget the Carano sex tape, forget the intervention, and forget trying to hook us up with Arianny (that was a nice gesture indeed tho). What you need to do is do some reporting on Logan's pinky's quite gnarly! :o
El Famous Burrito- July 16, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Question for Arianny: How did you get the stink of Fabio off of you? Or did you just have to wait for your skin to die?
PurplePickle- July 16, 2009 at 1:13 pm
First a photo hugging Fabio and now one with Leinart? I have a suspicion Ariany's buisness cards state her job title as 'UFC ring girl/Professional beard'.
Horror Fighter- July 16, 2009 at 12:49 pm
I'd like to do a show with Dana, but I'm afraid he'd keep yelling, "Do you want to be a fucking radio host?"
xocgx- July 16, 2009 at 11:56 am
Logan is the best, though!
LoneWolf- July 16, 2009 at 11:52 am
LOL, this is post just made my shitty day!
vyapaar- July 16, 2009 at 11:47 am
Hey you never know, she might hook up with HAL_13...well may be not coz Hal instead of punching cofield in the throat might just deepthroat him and end up hooking up with him. CP will wait for that wedding invitation also.
agentsmith- July 16, 2009 at 11:29 am
Work the ol' "push-pull", eh?
Koeikan- July 16, 2009 at 11:20 am
I'm pretty sure that would work, too. Starting with the Logan comment is key, though.
agentsmith- July 16, 2009 at 11:12 am
Another good tip is to "accidentally" leave an ATM receipt lying around where she can see it, which you've doctored beforehand to show a current balance with lots of zeros.
Meohfumado- July 16, 2009 at 11:10 am
lol @ El Famous Burrito with the Chris Farley interview...
El Famous Burrito- July 16, 2009 at 11:05 am
"Arianny...remember the time when you were in UFC 100? And you were carrying the sign around the octogon? And it said round 3? That was awesome."
Meohfumado- July 16, 2009 at 11:01 am
I got news for you CP, I can pretty much guarantee Ariany Celeste wouldn't fall in love with us after getting to know us either.

But at least we can dream!

Oh...and the throat punch should be on general principle.
rokabee- July 16, 2009 at 10:54 am
werd on the throat punch, homey.
Clayton- July 16, 2009 at 10:54 am
This is far and away the funniest MMA blog.