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Behold, the Astonishing Awfulness of Arianny Celeste’s ‘Debut Single’

(Vid: YouTube/DEMusicGroup)

Alright, we take back all those jokes we made about people who think the world will end in 2012. The apocalypse is clearly upon us, as it has just come to our attention that Arianny Celeste apparently fancies herself some kind of singer now. Just let that news sink in for a moment before reading on … We knew she dabbled, but surely these new apparently professional aspirations can only mean the end of western civilization as we know it, right? I mean there are bad ideas, and then there is the fucking Titanic. There is the Hindenburg. There is leading your army into Russia in the dead of winter. Allowing this attractive, halfway famous girl who has no doubt always considered herself pretty good at karaoke to think she can try her hand at making actual “music” ranks right up there with the worst of them.

Nonetheless, there’s our beloved AC starring in the above video, introducing a “sneak peek” of her “debut single” titled “Fight to Love Me” (Get it? Because she’s a UFC Octagon girl …) which she promises will be out soon with the help of something called the DE Music Group. At first, we thought it must be a joke. The lyrics here are (naturally) cartoonishly bad, the “beat” sounds like somebody made it on a hacked version of some Russian production software from the 80s and if you don’t squint a little bit and lean away from the computer every time she tries to hit a high note, well, you don’t have your speakers turned up loud enough.

Our girl Arianny may look great toting a cardboard octagon card around the cage in a pair of short shorts, but even with every effect known to man processing her voice she can’t carry a tune. We knew it had to be a gag, a goof of some sort. Then at about the 1:30 mark, the synthesized sax solo kicked in and we realized with a lightning strike of sheer horror: “Dear God, she’s fucking serious about this.”

We mean, this poor girl. Who talked her into this? Tiki? Or did she suddenly come to the realization on her own that it was no longer good enough to be the hottest POA in MMA? That she must subject the world to the rest of her “talents” as well? Jesus. We’re almost speechless. We just hope this little stunt doesn’t blow Arianny’s chances in our 2011 Hottest Women in MMA Grand Prix. Oh, dude, that reminds us: Have you voted yet?

Cagepotato Comments

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MMA- May 23, 2011 at 3:40 pm
I know this is late, but someone needs to do a tournament bracket of models and their bad @ss record singles. (ie. Arianny Celeste vs Kim Kardashian vs Lindsay Lohan vs Paris Hilton vs Somaya Reece)
stopdrinkingpee- April 21, 2011 at 1:23 pm
I think this is what Junior and Ramsey were dancing to on the last episode of TUF. Seriously, load the gif and it's pretty obvious.
Biffmiester- April 21, 2011 at 11:06 am
And I wasn't even talking about the song...yet. HEY-YO!
beef_kurtains- April 21, 2011 at 10:15 am
Jokes on you motherfuckers, that was Dan White singing the chorus!
Randjob_Gracie- April 21, 2011 at 9:03 am
Rebecca Black's "Friday" > Arianny's "Fight to Love Me"
so sad, but true....
jamesz- April 21, 2011 at 8:58 am
it would sound better if she would stop having sex with Kiki
Biffmiester- April 21, 2011 at 8:43 am
Fucking atrocious. Horrible. Bad. Dismal. Digusting. Cringeworthy. Pathetic. Disturbing. Not cool. Cheap. Abysmal. Revolting. Bloody terrible. Hopeless. Meaningless. Crude. Offensive. Insult to my intelligence. Plain nasty.

...should I keep going?
DangadaDang- April 21, 2011 at 7:38 am
Not since Kim Kardashian have I ever wanted someone so hot to die so quickly.
DARKHORSE06- April 21, 2011 at 6:35 am
She should think about doing a duet with Tay Zonday, the guy who sang Chocolate Rain. Seriously. It would rock.
MyDonkeyPunch- April 21, 2011 at 5:59 am
I'm debating on whether or not to file a police report on her for her blatent attacks on my ear holes.
John A- April 21, 2011 at 5:46 am
Wow. That is fucking awful.
LOKI- April 21, 2011 at 5:32 am
Mute it and listen to Here Come the Mummys' 'Attack of the Weiner Man'!
"Mm Mm-Mm Mm-Mm-Mm-M-m, Ya cant sing when your mouth is fuuuuuull!"
fatbellyfrank- April 21, 2011 at 3:55 am
Makes brooke hogan look like she's in line for Grammy's
DARKHORSE06- April 21, 2011 at 2:04 am
Dear Gary,

Why did Arianney make this fucking horrible song?
OLLY_g- April 21, 2011 at 1:12 am
just take the easy route to getting famous, release a sex tape
Jawbreaker_46- April 20, 2011 at 11:39 pm
Thats not even a music "video" its all just still frames. Why doesn't Dana throw some loot at it and fund a video... and a song writer... and a singer. She could be like a hot Milli Vanilli.
Mongrel- April 20, 2011 at 11:23 pm
If you noticed the song in the background, you have passed the Gay Test.
I wouldn't be caught dead listening to this shit, but there's far worse out there.
Ballkick- April 20, 2011 at 10:29 pm
Kid Clam Curtains summed it up the best I think,.....what a soulless vapid cunt,....
BTW Rex I totally agree with you,...I've often thought when seeing her that fucking her would be like having sex with an Asian hooker,......oh baby you numba one fuckie,......1000 yen prease!!
Arriany wrote those lyrics herself on the back of a napkin at PF Changs while waiting for the waiter to stir her Chang sauce,....a real talent.
DARKHORSE06- April 20, 2011 at 9:21 pm
Its actually not that bad of a song if you put it on mute and watch the video.
PERPATRAITOR- April 20, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Her production manager was overpaid. Even if it was just a free boob grab.
Fail Sonnen- April 20, 2011 at 7:38 pm
I don't think that's the real song.
Uppercut Magnet- April 20, 2011 at 7:14 pm
"Cock sucking this"
"Fuck her hard that"

Why is it that lust and hostility are so closely linked with you internet dwellers?

Eyes red as Fedor- April 20, 2011 at 7:01 pm
Its awkward how aptly titled this song is. Its a struggle to appreciate her "talents" when I know how eager she is to rape my eardrums. I don't like it when the shoe is on the other foot.
k-onda- April 20, 2011 at 6:31 pm
I thought it was awesome, and I watched it on mute.
Dagnut- April 20, 2011 at 5:57 pm
It's like they deliberately made it sound as terrible as they could... like the theme music from a 2nd rate Sega Mega drive side scroller beat um up...the cheapest sounding snyths imaginable...who is going to buy this in all honesty?