Alright, we take back all those jokes we made about people who think the world will end in 2012. The apocalypse is clearly upon us, as it has just come to our attention that Arianny Celeste apparently fancies herself some kind of singer now. Just let that news sink in for a moment before reading on … We knew she dabbled, but surely these new apparently professional aspirations can only mean the end of western civilization as we know it, right? I mean there are bad ideas, and then there is the fucking Titanic. There is the Hindenburg. There is leading your army into Russia in the dead of winter. Allowing this attractive, halfway famous girl who has no doubt always considered herself pretty good at karaoke to think she can try her hand at making actual “music” ranks right up there with the worst of them.
Nonetheless, there’s our beloved AC starring in the above video, introducing a “sneak peek” of her “debut single” titled “Fight to Love Me” (Get it? Because she’s a UFC Octagon girl …) which she promises will be out soon with the help of something called the DE Music Group. At first, we thought it must be a joke. The lyrics here are (naturally) cartoonishly bad, the “beat” sounds like somebody made it on a hacked version of some Russian production software from the 80s and if you don’t squint a little bit and lean away from the computer every time she tries to hit a high note, well, you don’t have your speakers turned up loud enough.
Our girl Arianny may look great toting a cardboard octagon card around the cage in a pair of short shorts, but even with every effect known to man processing her voice she can’t carry a tune. We knew it had to be a gag, a goof of some sort. Then at about the 1:30 mark, the synthesized sax solo kicked in and we realized with a lightning strike of sheer horror: “Dear God, she’s fucking serious about this.”
We mean, this poor girl. Who talked her into this? Tiki? Or did she suddenly come to the realization on her own that it was no longer good enough to be the hottest POA in MMA? That she must subject the world to the rest of her “talents” as well? Jesus. We’re almost speechless. We just hope this little stunt doesn’t blow Arianny’s chances in our 2011 Hottest Women in MMA Grand Prix. Oh, dude, that reminds us: Have you voted yet?