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Behold, the Astonishing Awfulness of Arianny Celeste’s ‘Debut Single’

(Vid: YouTube/DEMusicGroup)

Alright, we take back all those jokes we made about people who think the world will end in 2012. The apocalypse is clearly upon us, as it has just come to our attention that Arianny Celeste apparently fancies herself some kind of singer now. Just let that news sink in for a moment before reading on … We knew she dabbled, but surely these new apparently professional aspirations can only mean the end of western civilization as we know it, right? I mean there are bad ideas, and then there is the fucking Titanic. There is the Hindenburg. There is leading your army into Russia in the dead of winter. Allowing this attractive, halfway famous girl who has no doubt always considered herself pretty good at karaoke to think she can try her hand at making actual “music” ranks right up there with the worst of them.

Nonetheless, there’s our beloved AC starring in the above video, introducing a “sneak peek” of her “debut single” titled “Fight to Love Me” (Get it? Because she’s a UFC Octagon girl …) which she promises will be out soon with the help of something called the DE Music Group. At first, we thought it must be a joke. The lyrics here are (naturally) cartoonishly bad, the “beat” sounds like somebody made it on a hacked version of some Russian production software from the 80s and if you don’t squint a little bit and lean away from the computer every time she tries to hit a high note, well, you don’t have your speakers turned up loud enough.

Our girl Arianny may look great toting a cardboard octagon card around the cage in a pair of short shorts, but even with every effect known to man processing her voice she can’t carry a tune. We knew it had to be a gag, a goof of some sort. Then at about the 1:30 mark, the synthesized sax solo kicked in and we realized with a lightning strike of sheer horror: “Dear God, she’s fucking serious about this.”

We mean, this poor girl. Who talked her into this? Tiki? Or did she suddenly come to the realization on her own that it was no longer good enough to be the hottest POA in MMA? That she must subject the world to the rest of her “talents” as well? Jesus. We’re almost speechless. We just hope this little stunt doesn’t blow Arianny’s chances in our 2011 Hottest Women in MMA Grand Prix. Oh, dude, that reminds us: Have you voted yet?


  1. Morningwood Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 02:27

    well I like the location of the play button.
  2. Morningwood Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 02:28

    has this been officially released or has CP jumped the gun again?
  3. fxdfp Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 02:29

    The only reason she should be opening her mouth is to insert a penis or say "F*** me harder!"
  4. Fried Taco Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 02:33

    Well, I'm sure Arianny is going to love you guys now! #FreeCagePotato
  5. stidge Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 02:38

    Hopefully its a late April Fools Joke...she got us all.
  6. amsterdamheavy Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 02:49

    Oh my bleeding christ that is bad. As an aside, Ive always thought this chick was a cunt since I first saw her (what would that be UFC 60 or around there?) She almost never looks happy to have the camera on her, like its a bother, she always looks bored as shit at the weigh ins, and I always wondered why she's the one they kept around. NoM NoM NoM?
  7. RyanSarr Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 02:50

    4/20 joke i'm sure...huh?
  8. danomite Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 02:50

  9. RODUS Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 02:51

    Not the best in the world for sure, but I've heard worse...Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Paris Hilton anyone?
  10. Dizzylittlelord Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 02:54

    is this cagepotatos 9/11... what too soon
  11. Clyde Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 02:55

    Rebecca Black has nothing on this.
  12. RaginAsian Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 02:59

    No no no no no. Everyone knows if you want people to care about your failure of a single, you release it BEFORE you get naked. Only way to raise her stock now is porn. DO IT NAO.
  13. Fried Taco Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 03:12

    I dig the little circus calliope riff... mostly because she's not singing during that part.
  14. El Guapo Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 03:15

    Fuuuuuuuck me that was terrible. "Make, make, make me a sammich" woulda been better, but that's just me..
  15. Bob Reilly Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 03:15

    The video was great if you muted it.
  16. MonkeyNuts Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 03:16

    Give a ring girl a rope and the mothafucka wants to be a cowgirl...
  17. Bob Reilly Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 03:17

    Great camera work. Face to titties, titties to face. I loved it.
  18. O Chan Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 03:19

    At this rate, CP won't even get to any UFC events when DW's great grandkids take over
  19. Kid Clam Curtains Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 03:30

    What a soulless, vapid cunt.
  20. RwilsonR Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 03:32

    Is it just me, or does she not even look like she'd be fun to fuck. Don't get me wrong... I'd be happy to be proven wrong. But she seems like she'd be a boring cunt in the sack.
  21. Smitty Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 03:33

    Quit ridin CP's dick everyone. I'm like RODUS, I've heard a lot worse. I'm not gonna run out and buy it or nothin, but it wasn't as bad as you guys are makin it out to be. Sounds like the rest of the "SHIT" on the radio today.
  22. Strife Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 03:33

    This is really hard to judge. The video gives me wood, but the song makes me impotent
  23. Smitty Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 03:34

    *Slaps the shit outta RwilsonR* Don't you EVER say no shit like that again!!!!!
  24. Smitty Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 03:35

    @RwilsonR Sorry I had to do that bro.
  25. 2and0 Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 03:48

    I would rather listen to Friday.
  26. RSparrow Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 03:51

    She messed up... it was supposed to say "You gotta fight, fight, fight for me to fuck you"
  27. FightZen Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 03:54

    Seriously, CP. You muthafuckas better buy EVERY SINGLE COPY of her CD. Now's your chance to rub D-Dubbs balls all over you!
  28. Badger Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 03:59

    For a while, I thought CP might have a chance to get back inside the UFC. Nope. Morons. You could have just posted the video and let us do all the talking. The result would have been the same, except you CP guys wouldn't have totally fucked yourselves. It is a shitty song. There are no deductions for how relatively shitty all popular music is these days. Each song/band/group is judged based on individual merit, not the how shitty everybody else also is.
  29. O Chan Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 04:01

    @RwilsonR I totally agree with you. Don't get me wrong I'd love to put my wiener in her octagon, but she's the type of girl that would make you eat her box for an hour, then turn around and go to sleep before it's your turn for the fun-times.
  30. Anhonestmoose Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 04:03

    I believe that "hottest POA in MMA" bit has yet to be decided.
  31. themadturnip Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 04:07

    Awful.. awful song. Just awful. This is what happens when someone is surrounded by yes-men lap dogs. People think they can do anything if they are told enough times that they can. AC needs to stick to being a professional hot girl or get a producer that can make her sound good.
  32. fatbellyfrank Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 04:13

    Arrianny. little bit of advice sweetheart, either hold up the ring card or learn how to make sammiches, but dont ever ever sing again, you are fucken shit at it, your mouth was made for sucken cock not singin so shut the fuck up
  33. Get Off Me Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 04:16

    Carol Dias is the hottest POA in MMA. Arianny is the John McCarthy of ring girls. This video up here is why the entertainment industry is no longer the same. Today, anybody can get a hack video out there for the world to see. If you think that's a good thing, go watch the video again and tell me if you would have seen that shit on T.V. ten years ago.
  34. rampage01 Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 04:22

    at least she has a banging body on those pics,cause I would not listen to that shit anymore,rofl
  35. Hesh to Steel Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 04:24

    Yeah, I think CP probably bought itself another few years in UFC Press purgatory for this one. Oh well, at least the articles are still fairly funny. Wasn't huge fan of this one, though.
  36. Shaky Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 04:28

    I pretty much agree with everything said above. Arianny literally has nothing going on up there. She just wants to sing because she wants to be famous because she is dumb and hot because she has no long term career prospects because she has nothing going on up there. She is not making music because of some artistic desire. I've heard her mention in interviews before (don't worry wasn't listening to the interviews really, just looking for nip slips in behind the scenes videos) that she wants to sing and do a bit of acting. Well, what an easy life full of adoration and money...not gonna happen. People can dismiss us as "haterz" but this girl needs a reality check because everyone just swoons over her and agrees with every stoopid thing that comes out of her mouth.
  37. Canadian Chronic Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 04:28

    shut up n be pretty
  38. wandy1 Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 04:45

    Lets not complicate things, Arianny. Just stick to holding those heavy round cards up and getting naked.
  39. Titos Head Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 04:47

    What seat should I take!?!?! Oh wait
  40. destinationblood Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 04:49

    5 bucks says that she performs this song at the annual gay white party in palm joke this is exactly the stuff...a new performer who needs publicity for their club single....I can guarantee it bois.......
  41. Seaman Honor-Chin Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 04:52

    I registered simply to make you all aware of the following: You tell me if there are any melodic similarities to be found in each songs' verse. Mind you, this was probably done on purpose to gain publicity, since there's no such thing as bad publicity, right?
  42. Mood Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 05:08

  43. ReX13 Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 05:41

    _________________ Everything written above this line is so fucking boss. Possibly below this other line as well. Bravo, Chad. Awesomebombtastic. _________________
  44. Dagnut Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 05:57

    It's like they deliberately made it sound as terrible as they could... like the theme music from a 2nd rate Sega Mega drive side scroller beat um up...the cheapest sounding snyths imaginable...who is going to buy this in all honesty?
  45. k-onda Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 06:31

    I thought it was awesome, and I watched it on mute.
  46. Eyes red as Fedor Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 07:01

    Its awkward how aptly titled this song is. Its a struggle to appreciate her "talents" when I know how eager she is to rape my eardrums. I don't like it when the shoe is on the other foot.
  47. Uppercut Magnet Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 07:14

    "Cock sucking this" "Fuck her hard that" Why is it that lust and hostility are so closely linked with you internet dwellers? Hot girl doesn't know you exist. "WHAT A FUCKING WHORE SHE NEEDS TO SUCK COCKS WHAT A SLUT"
  48. Fail Sonnen Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 07:38

    I don't think that's the real song.

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 08:26

    Her production manager was overpaid. Even if it was just a free boob grab.
  50. DARKHORSE06 Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 09:21

    Its actually not that bad of a song if you put it on mute and watch the video.
  51. Ballkick Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 10:29

    Kid Clam Curtains summed it up the best I think,.....what a soulless vapid cunt,.... BTW Rex I totally agree with you,...I've often thought when seeing her that fucking her would be like having sex with an Asian hooker,......oh baby you numba one fuckie,......1000 yen prease!! Arriany wrote those lyrics herself on the back of a napkin at PF Changs while waiting for the waiter to stir her Chang sauce,....a real talent.
  52. Mongrel Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 11:23

    If you noticed the song in the background, you have passed the Gay Test. I wouldn't be caught dead listening to this shit, but there's far worse out there.
  53. Jawbreaker_46 Says:

    Wed, 04/20/11 - 11:39

    Thats not even a music "video" its all just still frames. Why doesn't Dana throw some loot at it and fund a video... and a song writer... and a singer. She could be like a hot Milli Vanilli.
  54. OLLY_g Says:

    Thu, 04/21/11 - 01:12

    just take the easy route to getting famous, release a sex tape
  55. DARKHORSE06 Says:

    Thu, 04/21/11 - 02:04

    Dear Gary, Why did Arianney make this fucking horrible song?
  56. fatbellyfrank Says:

    Thu, 04/21/11 - 03:55

    Makes brooke hogan look like she's in line for Grammy's
  57. LOKI Says:

    Thu, 04/21/11 - 05:32

    Mute it and listen to Here Come the Mummys' 'Attack of the Weiner Man'! "Mm Mm-Mm Mm-Mm-Mm-M-m, Ya cant sing when your mouth is fuuuuuull!"
  58. John A Says:

    Thu, 04/21/11 - 05:46

    Wow. That is fucking awful.
  59. MyDonkeyPunch Says:

    Thu, 04/21/11 - 05:59

    I'm debating on whether or not to file a police report on her for her blatent attacks on my ear holes.
  60. DARKHORSE06 Says:

    Thu, 04/21/11 - 06:35

    She should think about doing a duet with Tay Zonday, the guy who sang Chocolate Rain. Seriously. It would rock.
  61. DangadaDang Says:

    Thu, 04/21/11 - 07:38

    Not since Kim Kardashian have I ever wanted someone so hot to die so quickly.
  62. Biffmiester Says:

    Thu, 04/21/11 - 08:43

    Fucking atrocious. Horrible. Bad. Dismal. Digusting. Cringeworthy. Pathetic. Disturbing. Not cool. Cheap. Abysmal. Revolting. Bloody terrible. Hopeless. Meaningless. Crude. Offensive. Insult to my intelligence. Plain nasty. ...should I keep going?
  63. jamesz Says:

    Thu, 04/21/11 - 08:58

    it would sound better if she would stop having sex with Kiki
  64. Randjob_Gracie Says:

    Thu, 04/21/11 - 09:03

    Rebecca Black's "Friday" > Arianny's "Fight to Love Me" so sad, but true....
  65. beef_kurtains Says:

    Thu, 04/21/11 - 10:15

    Jokes on you motherfuckers, that was Dan White singing the chorus!
  66. Biffmiester Says:

    Thu, 04/21/11 - 11:06

    And I wasn't even talking about the song...yet. HEY-YO!
  67. stopdrinkingpee Says:

    Thu, 04/21/11 - 01:23

    I think this is what Junior and Ramsey were dancing to on the last episode of TUF. Seriously, load the gif and it's pretty obvious.
  68. MMA Says:

    Mon, 05/23/11 - 03:40

    I know this is late, but someone needs to do a tournament bracket of models and their bad @ss record singles. (ie. Arianny Celeste vs Kim Kardashian vs Lindsay Lohan vs Paris Hilton vs Somaya Reece)
  69. bellmaking abaptiston tradition Says:

    Wed, 01/30/13 - 04:44

    do it for pay or not."it's not... whether your work appears on the eviscerated remnants of a tree or on the electronic representation of a page that makes you a writer. it's whether your words move and/or motivate. a novelist may move through the creation of characters and...

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