We know that some of you think we’re die-hard Bellator haters, simply because we have no problem calling a garbage show a garbage show. But believe us, we don’t go out looking for ways to embarrass America’s #2 MMA promotion — this stuff just has a way of finding us.
Like tonight at Bellator 130, for example. We were prepared to give Bobby Lashley a respectful pat on the back for running through his fifth consecutive non-Wiki opponent. But it was the way Lashley won that made us shake our damn heads.
The former WWE star and current TNA attraction faced off against undefeated British heavyweight Karl Etherington, who had come into the fight with a 9-0 record, and all wins coming in the first round — seven of which were earned in under a minute. On paper, Etherington is no can. He was also billed as a judo black belt, which is kind of hard to believe when you watch the GIF of the finish, in which the Brit tries to pull Lashley to the mat, loses his grip, and flops onto his stomach where Lashley bashes him until Etherington taps to strikes. Not exactly Rousey-esque.
For God’s sake, Coker, it’s time to give Lashley one of your real heavyweights. Like…uh…um…Joey Beltran? I have no idea. This is about as good as heavyweight MMA gets in Bellator, unfortunately. Full Bellator 130 results are after the jump, with links to GIFs of the finishes courtesy of the Zombie. Short version: Emanuel Newton defended his title against that guy, and Marloes Coenen won her Bellator debut against some lady.
- Emanuel Newton def. Linton Vassell via submission (rear-naked choke), 0:47 of round 5
- Bobby Lashley def. Karl Etherington via submission (punches), 1:31 of round 1
- Marloes Coenen def. Annalisa Bucci via submission (rear-naked choke), 0:57 of round 3
- Dave Jansen def. Rick Hawn via unanimous decision (29-28, 30-27 x 2)
- David Rickels vs. Davi Ramos
- Ricky Musgrave def. Joe Wilk via TKO, 2:45 of round 1
- Marcio Navarro def. Cody Carillo via submission (strikes), 2:09 of round 3
- Daniel Gallemore def. Gzim Selmani via TKO, 4:33 of round 2 …when Gallemore slugs Selmani in his fat belly, it’s just mean.
- Sam Oropeza def. Gary Tapusoa via TKO, 2:31 of round 1
- Darrion Caldwell def. Anthony Dizy via unanimous decision (30-27 x 3)
- Aaron Derrow def. Nate Jolly via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3)
- Alex Huddleston def. Derek Bohi via TKO, 4:04 of round 1
(The Hardcore Kid’s hardcore victory dance.)