(The ending of Hornbuckle vs. Carl. Props: YouTube.com/BellatorMMA)

By DL “Bellat-Whore” Richardson

Chances are that if you watch Bellator, you’re going to see something new. Unless you’re Jordan Breen, you’re probably going to see a fighter or two you haven’t watched before. You may see something silly, like Matt Major’s sweet man-panties at Bellator XVI. Or it may be something exciting, like a 360 degree spinning guard pass and punch from Ryan Thomas at Bellator XV. This is part of the excitement of watching a Bellator event: the joy of discovery that many MMA fans just don’t get very often these days. Sure, we may be surprised by the results of fights — that’s why they have gambling on MMA — but most of us have a rough idea of what to expect when we sit down to a Pay Per View. Not so with the BFC. Bjorn Rebney has managed to catch lightening in a bottle, putting on interesting cards on a weekly basis with up-and-coming talent that deserves the exposure.

Bellator XIX went down in Grand Prairie, Texas last night, with the welterweight tournament semifinals and a featherweight SuperFight on tap. Results after the jump. Also, a concise explanation as to why they call it “the jump.”

I don’t know why they call it “the jump.” Sorry. But since you’re here….

Steve Carl vs. Dan “The Handler” Hornbuckle [WW semi-final #1]
Steve Carl may be boring. I say that because every interview and news piece about the guy seems to focus on one of two things, or both: his service in the US military, and his battle back from a terrible injury. I bet the guy has some cool stories to tell, but we won’t hear them. Of the four men left in the welterweight tourney, Carl has gotten the least amount of hype and attention. (On a side note, Carl has a sponsor that you may have heard of: Ranger Up. They seem like good peoples.) His opponent is one of the best 170 pounders to have never stepped into the Octagon: Dan “The Handler” Hornbuckle. Bellator doesn’t have much highlight film on Hornbuckle, because dude wrapped up his quarterfinal match with the quickness: a nasty triangle choke in the first round against Tyler Stinson.

Ok, here we go: Carl and Hornbuckle come out quickly and meet in the center, exchange a few exploratory shots, and Carl shoots. He gets Hornbuckle down, stuffs him into the fence, and starts doing work. He wants to attack “The Handler’s” gas tank, and he plans on doing it with healthy doses of knuckle to the ribs. Unfortunately, he’s in a very dangerous guard; “The Handler” could just as easily be “Daddy Longlegs.” Carl looks good early, even trapping one of Hornbuckle’s arms behind his back, but Hornbuckle has spent too much time on the mats. He regains a full guard, works for a bit to create space, and immediately works a kimura keylock on Carl’s left side. Carl begins to lean to take some of the pressure off of his shoulder, and Hornbuckle uses those stilts of his to solidify his position and crank the arm. There’s no way out for Carl. Dan Hornbuckle defeats Steve Carl via submission, 2:31 of Round 1.

“Funky” Ben Askren vs. Ryan “The Tank Engine” Thomas [WW semi-final #2]
Bellator may be a relative newcomer as an MMA promotion, but they’ve shown that they know how to nurture a good storyline. Askren v Thomas is a prime example. After a controversial ref stoppage in the quarterfinals, Bjorn Rebney publicly promised Ryan Thomas a return to the tournament if there was an opening. One week later, Thomas re-entered the quarterfinals, won his match, and the smack talk began. Ben Askren prodded his opponent, Tweeting that he planned to choke Thomas out and thanking Rebney “for making [his] path to the finals so easy.” Thomas did not take kindly to this, and said on multiple occasions that he was going to give Askren the beating of his life.

It’s no secret that Askren wants this on the ground: he’s literally a world-class wrestler, and he apparently holds a purple belt in BJJ. It takes less than 20 seconds for Askren to take the fight to his world. He pulls a belly to belly falldown, and lands atop Thomas. What follows is five full minutes of scrambling. There is no lay and pray here, possibly because Askren is very good at maintaining position but not so good that he can finish a submission. Thomas can defend anything Askren tries, but he just can’t power out from under the former Olympian. It’s entertaining, at least, which isn’t always the case with wrestlers.

Second round, and Thomas is not screwing around. He scores a takedown against Askren, and wants to let fly with some good ol’ ground and pound and then hit the showers. Askren, though, manages to worm out of danger. Here’s where Askren’s nickname, “Funky,” starts to sink in. It’s well-nigh impossible to explain or describe the way Askren moves. He’s lanky and flexible and holding him down is on par with getting a good grip on a greased weasel hopped up on Mountain Dew. Seriously, Askren goes from being in Thomas’s side control, gives up back side control, does a fucking headstand into a sort of half-guard, kind of kneebar set up, and suddenly Thomas is scrambling to maintain top position. Thomas goes for a toe hold, but he can’t put enough pressure on the ankle. The struggle briefly in what could be described as a human Gordian knot, and then Askren is on top in side control. This is the story of the bout: The offense of Askren and defense of Thomas are even matched to the point of stalemate, but Askren is holding dominant positions. Askren really needs to learn how to finish when he gets full mount or crucifix.

Final frame: Thomas comes out with a good combo and a stiff knee, but Askren shoots and takes him to his butt. “The Tank Engine” looks to work a choke, perhaps a modified guillotine like the one Askren beat him with last month, but his arms aren’t quite long enough. They’re on the floor, and they’ll scramble here all night if the locals would let ‘em, but they only have four more minutes. Ben Askren rides it out for a unanimous decision over Ryan Thomas. He will meet Dan Hornbuckle in Bellator’s season 2 welterweight finals.

Diego “The Octopus” Saraiva vs. Joe “The Hammer” Soto
Even Bellator concedes that Joe Soto was a relative unknown when he entered the season 1 featherweight tournament, but he used his wrestling and boxing to climb to the top of the heap at 145. Soto represents the BFC champions tonight in a SuperFight against Brazilian dynamo Diego Saraiva, who has never been stopped and does not know the word quit. Seriously, English is his second language, and no one has ever taught him the words “quit,” “submit,” “uncle,” or even “owshitthathurts.”

The bell rings, and Soto and Saraiva greet each other with some probing jabs. The both look comfortable striking, but no damage is done yet. Soto has a quick shot, and they go to the ground. Remember that stuff I was saying earlier about always seeing new things? Well, I wasn’t just blowing smoke. This bout is a seminar on the potential and perils of the Spider Guard. If you’re unfamiliar, you stupid newb, it’s the upper body equivalent of butterfly guard, using the insteps and shins to control the opponent’s chest and shoulders. If you can control your opponent’s wrists, you effectively shut down their offense completely. Saraiva works this magic trick well, keeping Soto from posturing up and throwing murderballs, disrupting his balance, landing some fists and even going for an omoplata. For his part, Soto stays active whenever he gets a free hand, working body punches and hammer fists. This spider guard just makes it difficult to get his hands free. There’s a minute left and not much has happened, when Soto yanks an arm away from Saraiva, leans in just a bit, and unleashes a couple of short elbows. One of them finds a home on Saraiva’s forehead, opening a gash that quickly becomes a gush. Time runs out, but you know what’s going to happen. The docs call an end to it between rounds, over Saraiva’s protests. Joe Soto defeats Diego Saraiva via TKO (doctor stoppage) at 5:00 of Round 1.

(Props: Card)

Jared Lopez vs. “Brutal” Johnny Bedford
OK, we got some airtime left, so we get a look at some of the local boys, a bantamweight scrap that could potentially lead to an invite to Bellator’s 135-pound tournament starting in August. No need to know anything about these guys other than they’re young, hungry, and likely to go for broke.

The bell sounds, and they close in on one another. Bedford is the obvious crowd favorite, but Lopez has some good hands to start off. He fires some good right hands at Bedford’s domepiece, and he’s landing. The announcers explain that Lopez is comfortable on his feet, but not so much on the ground. While we ponder what the hell this guy is doing in MMA, Bedford rushes in for a takedown after a sloppy Lopez kick misses. Bedford starts working to put Lopez to sleep, throwing bombs from his feet, then in Lopez’s guard. Lopez works a closed guard and tries to keep Bedford close. “Brutal” Johnny eventually works loose and starts throwing strikes again, then wraps a guillotine. As the round closes, Lopez pops his head out of danger, but he doesn’t have time to do anything.

Second round, and they start with some stand-up dueling again. Sixty seconds in, Bedford again takes Lopez down for some more pounding. He gets side control, then north-south as he applies a kimura, then an armbar. Then he gives up and goes back to good ol’ American ground and pound. Lopez works his way up, catching an illegal knee on the way, and he wants to bang on the feet. Bedford drags him down again, still trying to pound him out. Lopez works up, Bedford drags him down. There’s the bell, and it’s on to the final frame.

Round three and they come out swinging. Bedford stuns Lopez against the cage, and starts swinging some crazy uppercuts into Lopez’s vital organs. He’s digging with knees, trying to KO Lopez with body shots. Bedford shoots, but the ref stands them up quickly. Bedford gets a good thai clinch, and digs with knees some more. Lopez falls over, and Bedford throws a couple more punches before the ref sprints in. Johnny Bedford defeats Jared Lopez via TKO, 2:16 of Round 3.

Of course, there were a few fights you could only see live….

- Scott Barrett def. Ty Lee via TKO (punches), 2:25 of Round 1

- Chas Skelly def. Daniel Pineda via submission (kneebar), 2:16 of Round 2

- Joe Christopher def. Brandon McDowell via submission (guillotine choke), 1:36 of Round 1

- Douglas Frey def. Aaron Wise via submission (guillotine choke), 0:49 of Round 1

- Joshua Smith def. Donyiell Winrow via unanimous decision (30-27 x 3)

Related news: Bjorn Rebney wants to set up Eddie Alvarez vs. Gilbert Melendez, and a 115-pound women’s tournament has been locked down for season three.