french girls selfie selfies drawings
Here's What Happens When Strangers Draw Your Selfies

Besides Being a Linguistics Expert, Tito Ortiz is Apparently also a Neurologist Specializing in the Hearing Impaired


(Video courtesy InsideMMA)

Just when you thought you had heard the most ridiculous thing come of Tito Ortiz‘s mouth, "The Huntington Beach Badboy" goes and steps in front of a camera and raises the bar to new heights.

On the latest edition of Inside MMA, which will air Friday night at 9:00 p.m. ET, Ortiz explains the differences between the anatomy of the head of a deaf person, like his UFC 121 opponent Matt Hamill compared to that of someone who isn’t hearing impaired. 


Here’s what the self taught head doctor had to say about Hamill’s ability to take punches.

"I’ve noticed he’s deaf, so he has a soft head," Ortiz proclaims matter-of-factly like he was the one to diagnose both Hammill’s deafness and his punky melon. "You hit him with more and more shots…"

Unable to contain his bewilderment at the claim, host Kenny Rice stops Ortiz in his tracks to make sure he heard him right.

"What?!" Rice asks him incredulously.

"People don’t know this. Watch how Franklin knocked him out quick. You hit ‘em with soft shots because their equilibium (no that’s not a typo)…they don’t have no equilibium," Ortiz explains with a straight face. "And you hit ‘em with shots and you hit ‘em with small shots — I’m not lookin’ for big shots. I’m lookin’ for small shots. Little small shots and by the second…middle of the third round you’re gonna see someone goin’ to sleep AND I’ll snuggle him."

My brain hurts just trying to hypothesize where he came up with this absurd theory. Maybe one of his twins explained it to him.

Call it a hunch, but somehow I don’t see the UFC reserving a seat in the commentary booth for Ortiz when he decides to call it a career. 





Cagepotato Comments

Showing 1-25 of comments

comments
Sort by : Show hidden comments
grass fed meat- February 15, 2011 at 4:44 pm
Pride goes before a fall.
k-onda- August 7, 2010 at 7:18 am
Damn, he was actually being serious. And Bas's mouth was like just hanging open. How do people as dumb as Tito actually make it this world, oh yeah, it's an F'd up world.
PortlandMMA- August 6, 2010 at 8:30 am
Its crazy but I actually believe that "I've noticed he's deaf, so he has a soft head," may be the greatest Tito quote ever.
Almost North- August 6, 2010 at 8:20 am
His IQ can be determined by dividing the number of cocks Jenna has had by 882358235825832949235829352834239523.


The answer is 85.
RwilsonR- August 6, 2010 at 8:13 am
The funny thing is, even if Dr. Ortiz had his medical information correct, Hamiill was KO'ed by a liver kick from Franklin! Add to that Hamill spent 3 rounds getting peppered by small shot by Michael Bisping and that didn't seem to knock out his "soft head."
J-Dog- August 6, 2010 at 7:56 am
Holy crap there is no end to this moron's ignorance! I'd like to know what is IQ is. It can't be over 100.
Deathb4tapout- August 6, 2010 at 7:50 am
The only soft thing Tito knows about other then his penis would be his Chin. I so hope hammel KHTFO just cause Tito needs some sense beat back into him.

Or hell maybe we should ask that Roger Huerta look a like to curb stomp Tito for hitting Jenna??
David_Banner- August 6, 2010 at 3:37 am
HAHAHAHA
SiDeBuRnZ- August 6, 2010 at 2:53 am
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
KimboSlice- August 6, 2010 at 1:47 am
No problem. If you keep feeling sick, and just want to take a nap, i'm sure someone here can tell you a Jake Sh-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Almost North- August 6, 2010 at 1:44 am
I just vomited a little in my everywhere. Thanks guys.
BrutusBox- August 6, 2010 at 1:40 am
did tito miss the jardine hamill fight. deafboy can definitely take a shot to his soft skull.
KimboSlice- August 6, 2010 at 1:35 am
@fbf, No you're approximation is off, it's actually about 6 years of guts being in place for every minute of an open mouth kiss.

That's just how ginormous his head is, but since her vag is so huge, for every 30 seconds he's doing the open mouth kiss, they have to use a Porter-Cable C6110 15 Amp 2 Horsepower 25 Gallon Oil-Free Wheeled Vertical Compressor to fill his head back up (they actually have two, both going at the same time since the space of his head is so huge, and since her vag is so huge, alot of air is lost).
fatbellyfrank- August 6, 2010 at 1:20 am
@ Kimboslice, I thought that was why Jenna married Tito, the amount of air in his outrageously enormous fucken head was the only thing that could create a strong enough vacuum to stop her guts from tumbling out of her oversize vag, Tito just engages in a 5 minute open mouth kiss with her and that'll keep her guts in place for approx 36 hours
ghostboner- August 6, 2010 at 1:08 am
Oh man you know it is bad when you are fighting a deaf guy but everyone is making fun of how you talk. That is bad. Real bad. Tito will still win though, because Matt is deaf, and deaf people have no ponuncasion.
KimboSlice- August 5, 2010 at 11:14 pm
I'm pretty sure they can.

I think planet Tito would be a good replacement for Pluto. But just like how they came to conclusion that Pluto was nothing but a rock, they'll find out Tito has nothing in his head but air and James Toney.

They'd be fine if it was just air, but James Toney is too much for them.
Almost North- August 5, 2010 at 11:07 pm
Can planets get herpes?
KimboSlice- August 5, 2010 at 11:04 pm
I hope Matt destroys Tito, Tito is irrelevant to anything MMA. Him and his hot air balloon of a head can float off into space and never come back. But then if that happens, NASA will see it and name him a new planet, and then he'll be all over the news again.

So yea, there is really no way to get rid of this guy.
Almost North- August 5, 2010 at 11:01 pm
Soft Skull, Big Heart:
The Matt Hamill story
Lysol- August 5, 2010 at 9:39 pm
"I'm not saying the deaf are inferior to humans, but I am saying that science has proven they get knocked out by bitch slaps"

Ref: Ortiz, T.: "Thesis Paper". Harvard Medical School, Cambridge, MA. 2010: p.21
Canadian Chronic- August 5, 2010 at 9:08 pm
holyfuckinshit.

what an fuckin idiot
Spicymeatball- August 5, 2010 at 8:57 pm
Tito just go away I hope Jenna gives you aids.
fatbellyfrank- August 5, 2010 at 8:49 pm
@ Drano, yeah if we keep defecating his character he may sue us for label
MoTropolis- August 5, 2010 at 8:34 pm
If machines could be handicapped, Tito Ortiz would be a retarded bulldozer just plowing thru the english language.
dranokills- August 5, 2010 at 8:19 pm
fatbellyfrank Says:
Fri, 08/06/2010 - 03:18

I too have done my thesis on the human digestive system, I wont bore you with all the nitty gritty, but basically, If you dont eat you dont shit, and if you dont shit you die.

Thank you Thank you, you may now refer to me as Professor Fatcunt
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jesus, between you and hulksmash I about pissed myself.
better be careful we all 3 will get banned for "defecating" his character...snort!
CagePotatoMMA