Don’t ever tell this guy you want to “hang out and twist one up” — it doesn’t translate well. VidProps: UFC/YouTube
Rousimar Palhares is the root cause of 35% of all cases of Restless Leg Syndrome on the planet. If you have fully-functioning knees, you have never rolled with Toquinho. If your initials are “ACL“, chances are you have woken up screaming in the middle of the night due to a nightmare you can barely remember, but you were strangely compelled to check under your bed for Palhares. In 1903, Hurricane Rousimar barreled through Puerto Rico and the northern coast of South America. No one was killed, but thousands were unable to walk normally for the rest of their lives. Chuck Norris is the reason giraffes have long necks (roundhouse kick), but Rousimar Palhares is the reason they have those gnarly knees (hoof hook).
Some of that stuff may possibly have been made up and/or hyperbolized, but we all know that, like the Wu-Tang Clan, Rousimar P. ain’t nothing to fuck with. With his UFC Rio bout with Dan Miller almost upon us, let’s all take a few moments to get to know Paul Harris a bit better. When he’s not ruining your mobility for life, he actually seems like a humble, friendly kind of guy. Just don’t make him angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.
Leave your own boasts of Palhares’ crazy awesomeness in the comments, if you think you can do better.