(If Taco Bell is looking for a fighter to sponsor, they may have found their man.)

There’s no getting around it, Roy Nelson is fat. He doesn’t just have a little extra padding. He isn’t chunky. The man’s got a body like a hastily packed duffel bag. Just looking at him, he seems like someone who’s face you might get all up into if he spilled his beer on you at a tractor pull. Of course, judging by some of his recent fights you’d probably end up face down in the parking lot, but that’s what you get for going to tractor pulls and causing trouble.

Nelson needed just under three minutes to stop Brad Imes at last night’s IFL event, retaining his heavyweight title after out-slugging the 6’7″ Imes. Nelson has yet to go beyond the first round in a title defense, begging the question, will the IFL have to go searching for more credible opponents to face “Big Country”? Imes was brought in as a last minute replacement for Brandon Lee Hinkle (who can also hardly be said to be credible), but as Nelson keeps knocking out the heavyweight ringers, the competition needs to improve before we know how good he really is.

Nelson said afterwards that he considers himself in the top five of the heavyweight division, and suggested that maybe if he quit fighting for a while he might finally break into some of those top ten lists. It seems to have worked for Ben Rothwell, who Nelson lost a narrow decision to a little over a year ago.

In other IFL action, Ryan Schultz outpointed a game Deividas Taurosevicius, who proved to be the anti-Kalib Starnes when he broke his foot in the first round and yet didn’t turn the fight into a track meet as a result. As a matter of fact, he kept coming forward, supplying offense, and, you know, fighting despite the injury. Imagine that.

Full results after the jump.

EDIT: Roy Nelson vs. Brad Imes video added (props MMA Scraps)

John Franci def. Frank Latina via submission (rear-naked choke) at 2:19 of round 1
Aaron Stark def. Lamont Lister via decision (unanimous)
John Howard def. Nick Calandrino via TKO (strikes) 2:24 of round 3
Matt Horwich def. Joey Guel via decision (unanimous)
Josh Souder def. Zac George via TKO (punches) at 0:47 round 1
Danillo Villefort def. Mike Massenzio via submission (kneebar) at 3:34 of round 1
Dan Miller def. Ryan McGivern via submission (kneebar) at 3:36 of round 1
Ryan Schultz def. Devidas Taurosevicius via decision (unanimous)
Roy Nelson def. Brad Imes via TKO (punches) at 2:55 of round 1