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BJ Penn to Possibly Form Cult, Lead Unholy Army of Martial Arts Instructors


("Child-brides welcome!")

Just because you’re a martial arts master who’s been teaching a specific fighting style for years, it doesn’t mean you can’t learn a lot from BJ Penn. In fact, Penn would like to help 300 hand-picked martial arts instructors improve their minds, bodies, and spirits through a year-long training camp in Hawaii called "The Live Like a Champion Project." (The press release is after the jump, in case you don’t feel like clicking on that link.) This is troubling for a number of reasons:

1) So basically, the Prodigy is luring the world’s most skilled fighters to an extended stay at his shadowy island fortress. Yes, that’s the exact plot of Enter the Dragon.

2) It’s such a perfect expression of BJ’s hubris. Penn has gained fame as a brilliant fighter, but he’s not really known as a talented teacher. (Sorry, Rude Boy, it’s not your fault.) Yet he feels he’s qualified to tell hundreds of instructors how to do their jobs. Particularly, he aims to train the minds of these people. The irony of a blood-licking crybaby obsessive holding seminars on inner tranquility is apparently lost on him.

3) The fact that the program requires its participants to spend a full year in Hawaii will generally attract men without families, who have no problem quitting their paying job and living off the food and shelter that Penn gives them — in other words, disturbed loners who will be easily influenced by the Jim Jones-like sway of BJ. Okay fine, I’ll spell it out for you: BJ Penn is obviously trying to start his own cult. Check out his Christ-like pose in the above image. You wouldn’t drink cyanide-laced coconut milk for this man? Of course, before the mass suicides, the Penntown 300 could be sent on revenge missions against Georges St. Pierre and Keith Kizer. Far-fetched? Maybe. But don’t say you haven’t been warned.



***

Time: January 1, 2010 at 6am to January 1, 2011 at 7pm
Location: BJ Penns Mixed Martial Arts Academy
Organized By: BJPENN.COM

BJ PENN ANNOUNCES LAUNCH OF LIVE LIKE A CHAMPION PROJECT
BJ Penn Invites 300 Martial Arts Teachers to Join Him for a Year of Intensive Training
March 17, 2009, Hilo, Hawaii – World Champion mixed martial arts fighter BJ Penn has been fighting on the mat, in the ring, and in the “cage” for more than a decade; now the popular Hawaiian-born fighter has decided to take on the world, the martial arts world that is. Penn has announced the launch of a one-year martial arts teacher training program called “The Live Like a Champion Project”, set to begin January 1, 2010.

Penn, the first non-Brazilian to ever win the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu World Championships, a former Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Welterweight World Champion, and the current UFC Lightweight Champion of the World, will lead 300 hand-picked martial arts teachers, of all styles and from around the world, through an experiential training program that will include martial arts and fitness training, meditation, philosophy, a strict dietary regime, anger management classes, and extensive community involvement. Penn’s goal is to improve the way martial arts instructors learn and practice their craft.

“Fighting is just one part of the martial arts,” says Penn. “Half of The Live Like a Champion Project is about expanding the public’s awareness of what martial arts are about, beyond fighting and self-defense; the other half to expand the kind of education available to people who love teaching martial arts.” Participants will diary in on-line written journals and via video a year of their life as they work with Penn and a team of experts to upgrade their knowledge and live in a way that sets an example for their students –and the international martial arts community.

“The ring is small and the world is big,” says Penn, “knowing how to fight like a champion has its value, but living like a champion is the ultimate aim of the training; and to teach it you have to live it first.”

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backbaconbilly- March 20, 2009 at 11:53 am
As fun as it is to make fun of cbj, I think the time has come for the Potato to stop givin a shit about what retarded thing penn is trying this week and disregard all stories related to him, its like beating up a retarded drunk, kinda looses its entertaining value after awhile,lol
Dan Quinn- March 20, 2009 at 10:15 am
BJ just needs to do some cold fusion by putting stevia in water and blending it, remove the toxic foam, drink the left over heavy water, then he'll have lots of energy and he'll be able to lose all his fat quickly. Me and Diego are already signed up for his seminar.

We're gonna cut off our balls, wear purple jumpsuits, wear Nikes, and then drink the stevia.....
Anonymouse- March 20, 2009 at 8:44 am
I knew it! BJ is amassing an army of martial artists to go in and take over the NSAC by force. Then, after proclaiming himself the chairman of the NSAC, he will declare that GSP must take long hot showers with him before every fight. (and that's *every* fight, no matter who is fighting...)
elboo- March 20, 2009 at 7:51 am
possible captions

1. "mommy,the athletic commission didn't give me what I want, UPSY, UPSY!!"

2. "I swear the vaseline tub was this freakin big, didn't you see it between rounds??, GSP ingested it to hide the evidence"
fuck bj- March 20, 2009 at 5:59 am
LOL yeah I have heard of the tea room study. I Actually covered it in a class last semester. And no that is not the case. I just could help but laugh and make some nasty comment about that picture due to my new found hate for BJ Penn.
Jay- March 20, 2009 at 5:56 am
I've got a head start on the "strict dietary regime." I wonder if they'll all be sleeping in those altitude beds?
George st pierre- March 19, 2009 at 10:37 pm
I LOVE VASALINE
nate b- March 19, 2009 at 9:44 pm
all hail bj "baby jesus" penn. we shall all pray towards hilo every morning and night throughout 2010. death to the canadian infidels!!
Anonymous- March 19, 2009 at 8:53 pm
hey ! fuck bj Says:

i think you have suppressed homoerotic desires, ever heard of Ted Haggard or the Tea Room Study?
CanadianProduce- March 19, 2009 at 8:45 pm
Anon was me. I like picking fights.
Anonymous- March 19, 2009 at 8:40 pm
@ Level He@d

Thanks for your valuable input, though you'll never source any of it and you're basically talking out of your ass. Nobody cares....but thanks nonetheless!
mexican arm bar- March 19, 2009 at 7:53 pm
wow ... this really tells me something about the person that bj penn is. this guy is so in to him self, that for some reason he thinks he is the grand master of martial arts and has a lot to teach. second i really believe that he convinced himself that he would of won if it wasn't for the vas on gsp back. its like he is in his own lil world, yeah look up delusional and bj s pic will be there.
fuck bj- March 19, 2009 at 7:49 pm
To add to my previous comment his mouth is open because he actually prefers to swallow. I hear he gives a mean BJ.HAHA
fuck bj- March 19, 2009 at 7:43 pm
The face BJ is making in that picture is the face he makes when guys are blowing their load all over his face when he is in gay porn.
Anonymous- March 19, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Learn how to quit!
Learn how to cry about it!
And when you just can't beat him, ask your mom for help!
Former BJ fan- March 19, 2009 at 6:36 pm
BJ Penn does not have a legitmate gripe. His is a clear cut case of narcissisum and groupthink with his family. BJ Penn has turned from one of my favorite fighters to a worthless piece of shit who can rot in hell as far as i'm concerened.

He brought his fucking mother to fight his battle for him. HIS FUCKING MOTHER.
Backbaconbilly- March 19, 2009 at 6:25 pm
He has no shame, no dignity, no real fans left just nuthuggers.
CanadianBuddha- March 19, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Bravo!!!
well said...
SKB- March 19, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Seriously....a guy who just got his mom to come cry about how she can't understand how a guy 20 lbs bigger than him and a champion in a high weight class beat her precious little baby boy without cheating gets to teach a class on "living like a champion" how?

bitteralex- March 19, 2009 at 5:52 pm
so what happens if he loses the belt to kenflo...
you can't live like a champion when you aren't one...
Keyser Soze- March 19, 2009 at 5:21 pm
@ Levelled head

Yeah right... that's why it was GSP on the cover of Men's fitness and not the Hawaiian bobblehead. BJ obviously takes his fitness training as serious as his pro fights. What the hell do you stand to gain by (foolishly) attempting to justify his (poor) training habits, other than looking like a halfwit yourself?

I guarantee you my body mass index score is lower than Penn's, I'm older by a few years, and don't even have to train at all to do it. I work a physically demanding and fast paced job on average 55+ hours a week. Training is simply one part of staying in shape, proper diet is just as important if not more.

BJ's problem is... he doesn't take mma seriously anymore, and doesn't respect the sport or any natural talent he may have been blessed with (emphasis on past tense). Geeky fanboy adulation only serves to blow up his inflated head and ego more than it already has. As for the poster who seems to think his ground game is the best in the business... it sure as hell didn't do him much good when he was getting pounded on for 20 minutes solid. His boxing's gone downhill, as has his BJJ. His wrestling was never that great to start with.

And this assclown expects 300 mixed martial artists to give up a year of their life for him? What will he teach? How to effectively piss and moan? Good cardio techniques? Sportsmanship? How to surround yourself with "yes men"?

I hope Dana puts his foot down and strips BJ of his title if he successfully defeats Florian (which I doubt at this point) and tries this BS. I think he's just looking for real training partners and attention.
GSP hearts vaseline- March 19, 2009 at 4:59 pm
the disclamer will say in tiny letters "Cardio class not cover, so be it"
Dana Mother F$%king White- March 19, 2009 at 4:31 pm
@Marcer: "PENN 122 - The fundamentals of shit talking" Nice.

People who actually have worthwhile stuff to say don't advertise themselves. People seek them out, not the other way round.

Also, a full year? Seriously, how arrogant do you have to be to expect people to put everything down and devout a year to you?
Leveled He@d- March 19, 2009 at 4:25 pm
and everyone can get off of criticizing his fitness because he is one of the only top level fighters / pro athletes that you can actually believe has not cut corners by using illegal performance enhancers.

The stuff is so easy to get ahold of that tons of high school football players use it. I'm sure a majority of men who invest their entire lives into athletic competition have cut corners with steroids for at least some period of time and then stopped before dropping for the Athletic commission.

All of you Couch Cage Potatos talkin sh!t about weight and fitness, should try to get your body fat % that low when you are 30 without using performance enhancers.

fair weather fans can drink cyanide-laced coconut milk
bold- March 19, 2009 at 4:20 pm
this will be the biggest sausage fest in the history of mankind
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