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Blame Canada: Brock Lesnar Charged Thrice in Relation to Hunting Trip

brock hunting
(Hey amigo, don’t forget to bag the stool. I’ll be making salad as a side tonight.) 

One minute it’s an emergency NSAC meeting, and now this. Don’t worry folks, the charges facing former UFC heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar will not affect his December 30th battle with Alistair Overeem at UFC 141, but Lesnar is now a fugitive in a country where sodomy is legal nonetheless. The charges aimed at Brock stem from a recent hunting trip he took to Alberta; I’ll let explain:

A recent hunting trip to Alberta has landed former WWE and Ultimate Fighting Champion Brock Lesnar in some trouble.

Fish and Wildlife officers confirmed the international celebrity has been charged with three counts in contravention to the Alberta Fish and Wildlife Act.  The charges came before Medicine Hat Provincial Court Thursday morning and include improper affixation of tags, spoilage of skin and edible flesh and possession of a controlled animal.

Neither Lesnar, nor his co-accused Chad Stryker, appeared in person in court.  Their matter has been put over until January 19th.

Phew. At first, the charges don’t sound that bad. That is, until you consider the fact that the controlled animal in question was a Garthok. And did you say Chad Stryker…with a y? Does Brock only befriend people with 1980′s action hero names like his own?

We here at CP have yet to learn the seriousness of these charges, but if Quinton Jackson can go on a literal rampage across Southern California and come away clean, then it’s hard to imagine Lesnar can be in any real trouble here. In fact, according to our Canadian law expert, the worst punishment Lesnar could face would be forced participation in the annual Burn’s Day supper, as is tradition.

But let’s get to the real story here; this is clearly a shallow attempt by our northerly neighbors to spoil our New Years festivities, likely because they blame us for GSP’s injury. And like it’s our fault that he trusts our surgeons more. All I’m saying is, the Baldwin brothers better watch their backs.


Cagepotato Comments

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ThePeoplesTroll- December 16, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Rules are rules. Canada is a humane country and its better that way. also, Canada is way better to live in than most of the states so you ignorants can chirp all you want, you know nothing.
phantom151- December 16, 2011 at 10:06 am
next he should go kiss the cod buh... And just cause he popped its head off with a arm triangle doesn't make it a crime. And Brock seriously u come to Alberta and don't invite me hunting come on....
Kimbo Lesnar- December 16, 2011 at 8:10 am
Hey Danga, know what would have been funny, since this happened in Canada? A South Park reference!
fhfghf- December 16, 2011 at 6:44 am
Happy 2012 new year,Merry Christmas ,Christmas top gift
Kimbo Lesnar- December 16, 2011 at 6:35 am
Here, let me do your job for you...
The story is that Brock shot a mule deer buck but only brought out the trophy head leaving the meat to rot.
Kimbo Lesnar- December 16, 2011 at 6:30 am
Crap Danga, could you have crammed any more stupid pop culture references in there?
fatbellyfrank- December 16, 2011 at 5:14 am
Irishwolfhound491 Says:
Thu, 12/15/11 - 07:35
@fbf I’d watch your Koala consumption if I were you mate.
Fuck me dead LOL, who'd have thunk that, might have to stick to the platypus kebabs. Cheers mate
Deal_the_Seal- December 15, 2011 at 8:16 pm
I dont see a rifle in the photo. Pretty sure he went for a double leg, the elk stuffed it, lesnar took head control, took the back and rear naked choked that elk out.
Irishwolfhound491- December 15, 2011 at 7:35 pm
@fbf I'd watch your Koala consumption if I were you mate.
fatbellyfrank- December 15, 2011 at 7:08 pm
and , and. fuckin edit button again
fatbellyfrank- December 15, 2011 at 7:06 pm
what the fuck is a Garthok? abd does it taste like dolphin or koala?
Casa de los pantelones- December 15, 2011 at 4:42 pm
I narfeled a garthok once, it was oookkkaaayy.
RwilsonR- December 15, 2011 at 4:39 pm
^ stupid fucking iPad. Can't type worth shit on it.
RwilsonR- December 15, 2011 at 4:38 pm
Did you really have to open that can of worms, El Guapo? Now we'll be treated to no less than five posts, with 7 independent yet totally incomprehensible clauses each, about how Mounties are the remnants of a Masonic order where Dana Whit is a grandmaster who uses them to. Influence athletic commissions with their overt politeness.
Chael Sonnens Balls- December 15, 2011 at 4:18 pm
All I can say is BRILLIANT !
El Guapo- December 15, 2011 at 3:59 pm
I'm sure MRuss is well versed in Canadian law, seeing as how he was charged and subsequently acquitted of murdering 10 mounties with his bare hands and all, but I'd like to consult the world renown international intergalactical law expert aficionado extraordinaire with cheese on top Xeno before I comment any further on this matter. Good day to you all. GOOD DAY, I SAY!
intercept440- December 15, 2011 at 3:47 pm
ya ..ya know it's aboot time we sterted ammering dem mericans dat come up ere and pooch game eh.
dey need ta learn dat we canadians take er game unting seriously aboot how ya affix yer game tag, if ya stupid hosers cant cross every t and dot yer i's were gonna charge ya ehh.
den were gunna make ya do somthin stupid for er festival ehh..
o ya and den were gonna go get a 24 elsinore eh.
NomadRip- December 15, 2011 at 3:43 pm
Having charges brought against you by the Medicine Hat Provincial Court doesn't sound very scary at all for some reason.
SnakeJake- December 15, 2011 at 3:29 pm
Viva Hate- December 15, 2011 at 3:18 pm
He killed a horse, made a burger sprinkled with poison in order to try and knock off Overeem before the fight.
USMCOgre- December 15, 2011 at 3:15 pm
I don't trust their beady little eyes and flappin heads all full of lies.
jschirle- December 15, 2011 at 3:05 pm
Kill it.