(Props: Fightlinker)
Bob Sapp has lent his hulking, cartoonish presence to such critically acclaimed films as Big Stan and Elektra, but his next movie, titled Frankenhood, could be his biggest challenge yet. DreadCentral (via Fightlinker) gots da synopsis:
Holy Fucking Shit. It’s like a Tracy Jordan movie, but real. It’s also worth mentioning that the director of Frankenhood is a man named Blaxwell Smart, which I’m convinced is just a pseudonym for Ron Howard.
You have to give Bob credit — the man has never been afraid to humiliate himself for money. But here’s the problem: Who would look at Sapp’s dead body and think "basketball ringer"? He’s about as tall as a shooting-guard, and on the wrong side of 350 pounds. When Michael J. Fox put on the fur suit in Teen Wolf and started dunking on fools, I was like, "yeah, I can see that happening." Now cut to the set of Frankenhood, where a dangerously winded Bob Sapp is sucking an oxygen mask after doing one take of a scene where he has to zombie-walk downcourt.
Another question: What are Motown and Darius going to do with that $25,000 prize to turn their lives around? (Don’t say "scratch tickets.") And what will happen to their mutant friend after they’ve achieved their goal? Are they just going to rip out his battery and shove him in the dumpster? Can JB Smoove possibly save this wreck? Will Tyler Perry direct the sequel? Is it weird that I kind of want to rent this movie to see how it plays out?
Loading ...
Comments
Thu, 03/26/09 - 01:34
oh........god.............no
Thu, 03/26/09 - 01:35
If anything this should be called "the green mile II"
Thu, 03/26/09 - 01:36
They should have had Nogueira be the star, as his appearance is much more reminiscent of Frankenstein than Sapp.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 01:37
Jesus Fucking Christ
Thu, 03/26/09 - 01:41
Looks good to me. I know I'll be checking it out.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 01:42
By the way, Fuck Tyler Perry.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 01:43
Shouldn't it be called Franken-hooPs? Or is Box Office Poison better?
Thu, 03/26/09 - 01:45
@ xocgx: It should be called "Weekend at Black Bernie's"
Thu, 03/26/09 - 01:50
Couldnt they find anyone that at least looks like they can play B-ball? I mean Bob Sapp? ..... When they were filming this do you think if Bob forgot a line he just broke down crying?
Thu, 03/26/09 - 01:54
someones got to rent it and let us know how it goes...
Thu, 03/26/09 - 01:58
I'll never risk checking out this movie just because I'm the type of person that usually has to finish a movie once I start it, no matter how bad it is. Example, I sat through My Boss's Daughter, Ace Ventura Jr. Pet Detective, and Disaster Movie.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:01
@ Dave W Ace Ventura Jr was even worse than Son of the Mask and Dumb and Dumberer. Why are they raping Jim Carrey classics? If they touch Liar Liar, someone's head is coming off.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:05
Just because Sapp's black doesn't mean he can play ball. He's not athletic enough to dribble a ball with both hands with his head up. He'd probably collapse from exhaustion after running full court.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:06
This movie looks UN-BA-LAY-VA-BOWL.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:12
you guys are all gonna eat your words. this movie looks amazing.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:13
"It's also worth mentioning that the director of Frankenhood is a man named Blaxwell Smart, which I'm convinced is just a pseudonym for Ron Howard." L...O...L
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:13
Black comedies are the worst fucking movies ever. I can't believe Cage Potato would spend 20 fucking minutes writing about this.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:22
3 Words: Straight to Video
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:23
at leats this movie will be great for the first 25 seconds
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:29
If I wanted to win a street hoops tourney, an ex-lineman/super heavyweight feakshow brawler would be my first pick. Then I would write a script about it and bring in mo' money. But in my movie Eddy Murphy would wear a latex Bob Sapp suit and play all of the other characters except for Charlie Murphy's role.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:30
Yeah, the part where Sapp's acting consists of laying on a table.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:32
MOVIE SPOILER: ALL VIEWERS OF THE MOVIE REGRET WASTING THEIR NETFLIX PICK ON THIS DUMB-DICKED GHETTO VERSION OF WEIRD SCIENCE.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:32
Deray davis is a funny mother fucker, and so is Charlie Murphy.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:32
critics proclaim, "it's a movie....... it's freaking terrible, and you'd rather take a nut-shot than watch it; but, it is, by definition, a movie!".....
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:41
CHARLY MURPHEY! DARKNESS!!! ALL I SEE IS EYES AND TEEF. GET YOUR DARK ASS OVER HERE. Charlie is staright up hilarious...even though thats from chapelle making fun of charly...he is still funny. He is the only bright spot in a otherwise dull dull story here.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:42
how did they miss the obivious MMA fighter hong man choi better frankstein fit and is big as fuck
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:49
@ drew because they don't need a token Asian guy.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 02:54
i aint worried, it's got charlie murphy.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 03:04
So who's the bad guy gonna be? Ross Clifton?
Thu, 03/26/09 - 03:11
All the niggaz say yeahhhhhhh
Thu, 03/26/09 - 03:11
yeahhhhhh
Thu, 03/26/09 - 03:35
Jesus Christ who the fuck actually pays to put movies like this on the screen and think its gonna make money ? this shit is probably going straight to dvd
Thu, 03/26/09 - 04:04
When Michael J. Fox put on the fur suit in Teen Wolf and started dunking on fools, I was like, "yeah, I can see that happening." wow, funny
Thu, 03/26/09 - 04:33
The best part is, the size of the upper bodies on the poster are all scaled equally. Bob Sapp just has a giant head
Thu, 03/26/09 - 07:17
Seeing how much potential this movie had, Bernie Mac went ahead and removed himself from the cast.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 08:08
Maybe the directors meant to get Terry Crews but misread the credits in The Longest Yard.....yea that must be it.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 08:34
I watched Big Stan on the internet a while ago and it was actually pretty funny.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 08:34
I bet this movie has a big-ass dick.
Thu, 03/26/09 - 09:17
I couldn'ty finish My Boss's Daughter it was pretty brutal
Fri, 03/27/09 - 05:33
When Ben wrote "Holy Fucking Shit". I was in total agreement.
Sun, 11/13/11 - 05:17
speculation that Coach Outlet France could soon senior credit strategist at Bank investors are increasingly concerned
Thu, 12/29/11 - 01:41
Read a lot of similar articles, but only found this article to my taste, thank you cheap womens uggs
Post a comment:
You must be logged in to post a comment.