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BREAKING: Brock Lesnar Returns, Faces MARK F*CKING HUNT at UFC 200

Dana White Fertittas Brock Lesnar Lorenzo Frank III MMA photos funny
(That moment when you realize you just agreed to fight the face-punchiest fighter on the planet, but don’t like to get punched in the face.)

We’ll have our full recap of UFC 199 up shortly, but before we do, let’s get right into a few of the biggest non-fight highlights of the night. Firstly, it was announced on Saturday that, after a fake retirement, a cancelled fight, and a series of brutal negotiations, the welterweight rematch between Nate Diaz and Conor McGregor will be going down for realsies at UFC 202 in August. Apparently all Diaz needed to make the fight happen was to┬áliterally smack The Baldfather like a bitch, which to Dana’s credit, he agreed to.

Easily more shocking than the announcement of McGregor-Diaz II, however, was the reveal that former WWE superstar-turned-UFC-heavyweight-champion-turned-current-WWE-superstar Brock Lesnar would be making his return to the UFC at UFC 200, 100 events after he first defended his title against Frank Mir in brutal fashion, to take on a TBD opponent.

This morning, Lesnar appeared on Sportscenter to announce who exactly that opponent would be, and if you have the type of incredibly specific dyslexia that prevents you from reading headlines, then head below to get the scoop.

Yes, you heard the correctly. Lesnar will be returning to the cage for the first time since 2011 to take on none other than heavyweight legend and walking pair of murderfists Mark Hunt, the #8 ranked heavvyeweight who has rattled off back-to-back KO victories over Antonio Silva and Frank Mir. Ho. Lee. Schnikes.

Of course, the news of Lesnar’s return came at a cost, which oddly enough, came in the form of Ariel Helwani. You’ve undoubtedly read by now that Helwani, as well as his fellow MMAFighting cohorts Esther Lin and E. Casey Leydon, was escorted out of the building at UFC 199 and slapped with a lifetime ban simply for breaking the Lesnar story before the UFC had a chance to. We won’t detail our feelings on this absolutely ridiculous story until the dust settles, mainly because Old Dad already summed them up perfectly over at MMAJunkie, but will simply reiterate what we’ve been saying for years: Dana White is a small, small man. That Helwani’s ban has largely overshadowed what was easily one of the greatest cards in UFC history says more about his place in this sport than anything else, and we sincerely hope that the UFC is forced to backtrack after seeing the massive influx of support that Helwani has received in the days since. (Also, where was all that support when WE got banned, you arseholes?!!!)

But back to the story at hand. Brock Lesnar and Mark Hunt are going to throw hands at UFC 200, and the resulting chaos may very well cause a rupture in the space-time continuum. We just hope that no one breaks this reality-altering potential story before the UFC, lest they find themselves on the outside looking in alongside hoodlums and miscreants like, well, us.

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