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Breaking: Karo Parisyan Slapped With Lifetime UFC Ban After Pulling Out of Hazelett Fight


Look, everybody knows that Karo Parisyan is a very troubled young man. But we’re still shocked by the now-emerging news that Parisyan has pulled out of a fight at the last minute for the second time in his UFC career, directly following his nine-month suspension for the use of unapproved meds. Judging from his tweets, it’s obvious that UFC prez Dana White has had enough of Karo’s bullshit, and we may never see the Heat inside of the Octagon ever again. As for Parisyan’s "laundry list of excuses" for canceling his UFC 106 meeting with Dustin Hazelett, MMA Weekly presents one explanation:

Karo “The Heat” Parisyan is out of UFC 106 after failing to acquire a license in Nevada, according to Parisyan, due to not having the money to pay his fine from previously being suspended after testing positive for a three different pain killers following his UFC 94 bout with Kim Dong-hyun.
“There’s a lot of problems going on. They won’t re-license me unless I (expletive) pay them,” Parisyan told “I had to pay the $32,000 fine in order to fight. I never paid because I never had the money. I don’t know if I’ll be able to come back…Everything is over bro. I’m just going to go home. Everything is fucked up. I’ve got to think about what I’m going to do for my career. I’ve got to think about what I want to do as far as fighting goes.”

However, Nevada State Athletic Commission Executive Director Keith Kizer’s side of the story is quite a bit different. As he told Sherdog:

…Parisyan had already been fully licensed last January and was cleared to fight this Saturday. Kizer said Parisyan had not been required to take a pre-fight drug test for the painkillers he had been flagged for in January, as they would be tested the night of the bout.
Parisyan had contacted Kizer a few weeks ago to discuss a “nagging, lingering injury,” Kizer said, and asked what proper medications he could take prior to the bout. Kizer said he instructed Parisyan that Tylenol and icing was the safest method, but encouraged the fighter to have his physician send in a letter stating his injuries and what medications he was taking for it, so the NSAC doctor could work with him.
Kizer spoke again with Parisyan within the last week to discuss a payment plan for the $32,000 fine the fighter had previously accrued. Kizer said that NSAC Chairman Pat Lundvall had agreed to disperse payment for the fine out of the fighter’s show and win purse for this weekend.
“We knew (Parisyan) was having some financial difficulties and wanted to try and help him,” Kizer told It was agreed that $16,000 would be deducted from each purse and in the case of a loss, Parisyan would make further arrangements to settle up the remaining balance. Kizer said Parisyan seemed pleased with the arrangement.

Was this a matter of miscommunication, or is Karo straight-up lying about the situation to avoid blame? Two questions come to mind as we await more details: 1) Which preliminary card fight will now be promoted to UFC 106′s main PPV card to replace Parisyan vs. Hazelett? Will one of the fights from the lead-in Spike broadcast (Ben Saunders vs. Marcus Davis, Kendall Grove vs. Jake Rosholt) now take the spot? 2) At this point, where would you rank UFC 106 on our previous list of Most Cursed MMA Events of All Time?

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aaronb- November 20, 2009 at 7:33 am
So did Aaron Brink
Komodo- November 19, 2009 at 10:52 pm
Damn, I wanted to see that fight. Would've been rooting for Hazelett anyway though, so screw it - good for Dustin :)

Awesome that he's getting his full purse.
That... is how it's done. Good on you, Mr. White.
UFC fan- November 19, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Somewhere Nate Diaz is laughing his ass off and saying:" see Homie I told you I wasn't scared and that you had no business picking on me. I will knock you out bitch! "
PingPong- November 19, 2009 at 8:27 pm
@stingrza...well done sir.

Just a thought: Parisiyan vs Filho
Zyz Zyx- November 19, 2009 at 6:06 pm
@Portland: The theory is, "fucking" gets flagged as porn by programs that monitor what sites you're visiting (which are popular at workplaces), while "fucked" would be flagged slightly less. With that in mind...

Fuck Karo Fucking Parisyan up his fucking shit chute. He's a fucking lying fuck who needs to get his junkie ass into fucking rehab and start taking his fucking well-paying job fucking seriously. The fuck. If someone was paying me fucking 32 to 64 grand for a fucking fight that I had fucking nine fucking months to fucking prepare for, I would do fucking anything they fucking told me. I'd stop fucking masturbating for nine months if they fucking told me to.

@Kimbo: War Machine beat him to it.
Seoul Brother- November 19, 2009 at 5:19 pm
@ Kimbos Bread: Well done, sir! He truly is "The Cheat," but aspiring to being the fluffer at a Tijuana Donkey show does not make one a porn star. Oh wait a minute - That's Manny "The Fanny" Gangbang.
Kimbos Bread- November 19, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Karo "The Cheat" Parisyan can now go on to being what he's always dreamed of being... the first guy to transition from MMA to porn.
831 Son- November 19, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Fuck this pussy ass loser. What a bitch. I like how Dana deals with shit and how he terminated his dumb ass immediately.
portland mma- November 19, 2009 at 4:16 pm
jokes aside, this sucks balls i was really looking forward to that fight.
portland mma- November 19, 2009 at 4:15 pm
I love how the excerpt from mmaweekly says, “There’s a lot of problems going on. They won’t re-license me unless I (expletive) pay them,”

and then it says

"Everything is fucked up. I’ve got to think about what I’m going to do for my career."

So fucking is a horrible expletive but fucked is ok? Well Karo is an expletive pussy who just fucked up for the last time.
rpn452- November 19, 2009 at 4:07 pm
I still want to see Hazelett fight. Put him against Thiago!
robthom- November 19, 2009 at 3:49 pm
You'll never be nick bro.
NateGetsIrate- November 19, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Obvious? What's obvious is you don't know who i am, bro.
NateGetsIrate- November 19, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Most cursed? Only if Sadollah gets KO'd in the first few seconds again.

Otherwise, i don't think this one is even worthy of being mentioned. Not even if it's the beginning of Ortiz' triumphant comeback wherein he goes on to being a contender, then fighting for the belt, winning it and breaking the record for most UFC title defends.
superflat- November 19, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Cursed Events: Its ranking depends on whether we end up seeing two "grave diggers" on tonight's main card.
robthom- November 19, 2009 at 3:32 pm
"What the hell"?
Looks like we were thinking the same thing. It can happen. Especially if its obvious.
Or maybe you where copying my post from the future.

BTW: 32 thou for pain killers? Harsh.
stingrza- November 19, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Karo obviously has some pretty serious broblems, but this is the highest level of the sport here... he needs to be a brofessional. As a fighter you make a bromise to the organization, to your fans, to your bropponent. The UFC has spent the last five years trying to convince the mainstream that it's not full of barbarians, and to do this is basically to brocede like a bro-magnon with no pre-brontal cortex. It's a shame for everyone. Brobably the last we'll hear from Karo.

Dude's brain must be proken.
MKO- November 19, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Fuck Karo and Manny.
Manny may be the only fighter I actually root for to get hurt; all last night I was hoping the trick shoulder would fly out and he'd get hammered a few times. After him throwing the punch on the glove touch a few fights ago, I just hope his shoulder gets shredded. Classless. You can talk crap, dance, take personal shots at someone, and even mock someone after you beat them, but feigning a glove touch and throwing a punch is unacceptable.
Maybe Karo will go crazy on him.
mthomas- November 19, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Let's see...just how cursed has this event been?

First Mark Coleman pulled out against Ortiz when that was still the co-main event.

Then Lesnar pulled out, making Griffin-Ortiz 2 the main event.

Now Parysian-Hazelett is off the card.

I'm personally waiting either for Amir Sadollah to injure himself in the next 24 hours or for Anthony Johnson to come in overweight tomorrow.

If that happens, Dana White will be holding an exorcism at Zuffa corporate headquarters...
Seoul Brother- November 19, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Strikeforce presents
The First Intergender MMA "Pee Free" Pro-Am Battle
Karo Parisyan vs. Amy Winehouse
Josh Barnett vs. Courtney Love
Nick Diaz vs. Lindsay Lohan
aaronb- November 19, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Karo in dream vs

Nick Diaz
Mach Sak

Would all have some appeal.
That_guy- November 19, 2009 at 2:20 pm
StrikeForce will put together a 3 way Match.
Fickett vs Parisyan vs Diaz.
The winner will be the last to pull out of the fight.
aaronb- November 19, 2009 at 2:15 pm
I think bald Irish nailed it.

Karo doesn't want to fight for free. Another Dirty Test would

a) cost him at least another 32K

b) Probably gotten him a lifetime ban in Nevada

c) ruined him in the UFC with 100% certainty

Now he can

1) Go on Celebrity rehab with Dr. Drew
2) Make his money in Japan. Something he couldn't do until UFC released him (which he now can)
3) Keep doing whatever drugs he is doing.

This isn't completely a lose lose for Karo. He is likely better off career wise now, than he would have been losing to McLovin and failing the post-fight drug screen.

Just sayin
NateGetsIrate- November 19, 2009 at 2:12 pm
What the hell, robthom?
Randy Pan- November 19, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Karo's personality is pretty lame, but I for one will miss seeing his judo throws. He was one of only a handful of judo players in the UFC.