Brock Lesnar Is “Like A Caged Animal Waiting to Kill a Bird”

(Props: MMA Scraps)

I can’t tell you how much I enjoy this video of Brock Lesnar training for his upcoming UFC heavyweight title defense against Shane Carwin. A lot of that enjoyment comes from listening to Brock describe himself as "a caged animal waiting to kill a…bird." Not only is it a hilariously inept analogy, but it’s one that even Lesnar loses interest in before it’s over.

Okay, so the guy’s not a wordsmith. We knew that already. But that’s not what he gets paid for, and his coaches and sparring partners seem totally convinced that he’s got this one in the bag. They should know. They’re the ones helping him to perfect his hammer fists (or masturbation punches, if you prefer), and yeah, he spends a considerable amount of gym time actually practicing that caveman-like attack. Hope you’re ready, Carwin.

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cleanuponaisle9- October 26, 2009 at 2:53 pm

Goat - you are correct. I was on the set of this video...a bird kept chirmping in the background and we were on our 4th take and you see what happened..he was talking to the bird. Said "where's my gun" after the take.

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Da Spied Her- September 22, 2009 at 9:57 am

Brock was just trying to remember the last thing he ate, which happened to be a bird.

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J-Dog- September 22, 2009 at 9:03 am

I killed a bird with my BB gun when I was a kid. It didn't make me feel manly or tough... It actually made me feel kinda bad.

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Barc- September 22, 2009 at 7:51 am

You know your gym is hardcore when one of the logos on your wall is SLAYER. I didn't know they trained there. I wonder how much they pay in sponsorship deals? Be back later guys, I'm gonna go track down Pantera and hook something up.

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Clyde- September 22, 2009 at 6:01 am

It's still a better analogy than Cantona's "when the seagulls follow the trawler" bollocks. I do not see this fight lasting long one way or another. They truly could break the octagon.

I'm pulling for Carwin on this one, which is ironic as Brock looks to be training to pull off Carwin.

Has anyone else noticed that it's so easy to mock Lesnar until you're within arms reach of him?

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AgentoftheBat- September 21, 2009 at 9:06 pm

Carwin is all done. Joke all you want about the guy, but he's a monster. Brock is going to roll over him.

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NateGetsIrate- September 21, 2009 at 7:52 pm

Did i read that right? insanepump.com? Somebody better call up the fleshlight guys cuz they are fucked.

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Sheps- September 21, 2009 at 6:10 pm

Ahaha you beat me to it Poutine.

Did his trainer actually refer to Lesnar as "Technical". Wow... just... Wow. Gotta love how for the Mir fight they were saying how great his Jiu Jitsu was and he goes in there and uses nothing but brute strength to win.

I predict Lesnar wins via an inverted Triangle choke......... that is after he lands his infamous body slam from the top rope.

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Poutine Guillotine- September 21, 2009 at 6:04 pm

Mount St. Everest is located on every bottle of Coors Light. It turns blue when the beer is cold enough or bright red when you make remarks homophobic enough. If you would like a picture the clearest view can be obtained by getting on top of your wife.

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Zero Cool- September 21, 2009 at 5:26 pm

brock lesnar should do geico commercials, unless it really isn't that easy.

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Stash- September 21, 2009 at 5:05 pm

Wheres Mt. St. Everest?

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PurplePickle- September 21, 2009 at 5:03 pm

Beat it like you hate it.

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Bob Reilly- September 21, 2009 at 4:23 pm

I'd like to hear Brock use the term "masturbation punches" during a post fight interview with Joe Rogan. I would howl.

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raspberrymight- September 21, 2009 at 3:50 pm

I didnt know brock was bad at analogies, still at least he hasn't gone and done something stoopid like permanently marked his body with one...

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831 Son- September 21, 2009 at 3:41 pm

Lol @ UncleSam.

Hammerfists are ugly and more of a brute force thing for Brock. Dumb gorilla.

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NateGetsIrate- September 21, 2009 at 3:39 pm

What kind of caged animal kills birds? Ferrets. I bet he was thinking ferrets cuz he probably owns one and his ferret is a feisty little guy. But then he realized that ferrets are the lamest predator in the animal kingdom and that's where that specific train of thought ended. If only the gay thoughts ended as easily for him, though...

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dleacock- September 21, 2009 at 3:35 pm

I heard carwin is looking to get ready for the fight by "rolling down mount saint everest in a barrel" but is having a bitch of a time finding the place.

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UncleSamsMisguidedChild- September 21, 2009 at 3:32 pm

Lesnar via indian rugburn stoppage due to roid rage handjob.

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Androiddrew- September 21, 2009 at 3:29 pm

I tried using "masturbation punches" once. All I ended up with were two ruptured testicles.

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Aenarion- September 21, 2009 at 3:21 pm

Carwin better grease up if Brock is gonna be jacking him off like that.

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Goat- September 21, 2009 at 3:20 pm

I think Brock was just stating what caught his attention at the time.