What a tool. Everyone knows if you want to masturbate your chest-cock, BBQ sauce makes a much better lubricant than Ranch dressing.

Good thing Roy Nelson doesn’t have a chest dick or we’d know where all that ranch dressing came from. So if we see Brock with ranch all over his chest during his fight with Shane Carwin we’ll know what happened.

Brock Lesnar would like all of you to know that the quote was taken out of context. He wasn’t talking about the Roy Nelson fight at all, he has nothing but respect for both Mr. Nelson and Mr. Slice. He was merely describing to the interviewer the kind of pornography he likes to watch when he gets on top of his wife. He would also like to state that he’s not biased, he watches all kinds of gay porn.

Oh you all would just love to suck Brocks cock, you little bitching girls

Brock Lesnar is the new Jared, though without the excess skin, lisp and lazy eye.

What Brock means by “Ranch Dressing” is the clothing ranchers wear. Rednecks get pissed as shit when someone throws a pair of sweaty Wrangler jeans on their dick-tattood chest. Its a cultural thing.

@ One Two:

You’re so full of shit, lol!

So I’m from South dakota too and we have the Sturgis rally were thousands of fat vest wearing bikers that look exactly like roy roll into town and since he doesn’t have a beard or tats that makes him a fat gay biker hence the biker reference. busting peoples balls is a second language here hes basically saying they fought like a couple homos and since kimbos face was in roys chest the whole time hes insinuating he was licking ranch from the fat gay bikers chest in some sort of gay foreplay.

loose translation–Kimbo and nelson fight like queers and nelson looks like a fat gay biker.

Mad Libs much, Brock?

I get it! Ranch dressing is fattening.

I read this and wondered how many tired ass “Cock sword” And “Dick Tattoo” jokes would be in the comments. You unoriginal bastards delivered!

i had a dream last night that sable kicked brock lesnars ass, i feel like it’s some kind of vision of the future, doesnt relate to anything you brought up on here other then the that fact that shits starting to get weird

Lesnar likes to put ranch dressing on the tip of his sword/cock tattoo and then look at it in the mirror… followed by a session of shooting defenseless critters to make up for his repressed homosexual urges.

People relax! Brock was simply trying to be funny. And it wasnt.

He used a couple of analogies

Couple of high school kids – because they both looked like shit
Biker dude ref – Because Nelson looks liike a fat biker dude
dressing ref- because he is fat thought somehow he probably has food all over his chest when he eats ect.

Not as big of a deal as you all are making it out.

This should prove that Carwin has a lot of restraint. Brock gives him so many easy targets, yet Carwin refuses to take the easy bait.

Funny how we turn a biker putting ranch dressing on his chest into a mile long gay joke. Its not gay if its ranch dressing guys, now if it was raspberry vinaigrette then he would be a pole smoker

and @ El Famous Burrito

Props on the Chris Farley joke.

This makes perfect sense. Brock is a genius.

maybe ranch dressing is the only acceptable lube for a cocksword

I think it just confused him when Roy ordered a whopper from Dana after the fight.

“This is why Lesnar won’t be champ for long. He doesn’t have the brains or the mental power.”

LOL, I hate Brock Lesnar but the dude didn’t beat Randy Couture, Mir or Herring with mental power the dude is a fucking tank. What is Brock talking about though? How many high school kids get in bar room brawls and what bar room brawl ends up with ranch dressing all over someone? Sounds like Brock is inviting a bunch of highschoolers to his house for drunken debauchery and a ranch dressing love fest.

No, I mean is, you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a butcher’s ass… No, wait. It’s gotta be your bull.

Just curious… why is “chest” in parenthesis?

When Brock starts talking and sees something (like a giant Coors Lite advertisement…or his wife) he somehow loses track of what he’s saying and fucks it all up.

Obviously during this interview in a Subway (WTF? he must have eaten everything there!?!) he saw the ranch dressing and jumbled it into his interpretation of the fight.

Brock’s head is filled with imagery and his reality becomes skewed with it. How else do you sit through a day of an awful tattoo of a cocksword?

And he is different from you?

Maybe that last sentence was just an observation he just made about what was going on in that Subway during the interview.

“It looked like a couple of high school kids, a barroom brawl… Dude! That fat biker dude just took his vest off and now he’s putting ranch dressing on his chest. What the fuck!?”

Looks at the advertisement on the right: Health Drops Beverage Booster

Why did they make the ‘O’ look like a Vagina?

I think Brock secretly fantasizes about putting ranch dressing on his chest penis and having Roy Nelson lick it off.

This is why Lesnar won’t be champ for long. He doesn’t have the brains or the mental power.

Fighting is all mental.

Brock is a misanthrope. He has already said he hates fags, now he hates blacks, and bikers by stereotyping them as cracker ass cracker fat fucks. That must mean he hates obese people as well. Chinks, spics, and jews are next. Brock hates everyone.

Nice one Koeikan……… but maybe he prefers man batter over ranch………

Makes sense to me.

The guy tatooed a giant penis on his chest. Dumping ranch over it seems to be the next logical step.

“The fat biker dude took off his vest and put ranch dressing on his chest, and then the black guy was under there and he couldn’t get out, and he was like ‘No, not now,’ but he couldn’t help it, and the biker guy was just so powerful, his mouth started moving down his…THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER BECAUSE YOU’RE A FAGGOT!”

simple food-based homoeroticism…
sorry, big guy.