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Brockwatch: Lesnar’s Chiropracter Says the Canadians And Their Damned Socialized Medicine Messed Him Up

(He feared no man.  Canadian doctors?  Well, that’s a different story. Photo courtesy of Fight Magazine)

Free health care might work just fine for most Canadians.  If Georges St. Pierre discovers a bizarre rash after his post-fight debauchery or Alanis Morissette decides to pop out a kid, it’s no problem.  But their system of caring for the sick and injured without driving them into bankruptcy just isn’t up to dealing with the big problems of a big man, particularly not when that big man is as much of a red-blooded American as Brock Lesnar.  According to what Lesnar’s chiropractor, Larry Novotny, told a local news affiliate in Alexandria, Minn., Lesnar’s current health problems really started heading downhill while vacationing in Canada, the land of free medicine and wonderfully polite death panels.  I think you know who he’s going to blame.

Said Novotny: "His symptoms became severe while in Canada, which because of their health care system, made it difficult to manage.  At this point it’s a possibility that it could jeopardize his career." 

Okay, Novotny.  Fair enough.  But you’re forgetting to mention that it didn’t cost him a penny.  Still a good deal for the money, no?

Novotny didn’t elaborate on exactly how the Canadians had tried to kill fell short in treating Lesnar’s illness, but I think we can safely assume that it had something to do with leaving him for dead on a gurney while the doctors went off to drink Molson and watch curling.

And isn’t it ironic that one of the relatively few people in this country with the money to afford all the tests and surgeries and hospital stays that he might possibly need, even without insurance, ended up taking sick in a country where they foot the bill for destroying your intestines?  Take it from a man with all the medical expertise demanded of a chiropractor, socialized medicine will kill us all and ruin our pro fighting careers, America.

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karmakilledmywallet- April 1, 2011 at 7:10 pm
Hai lolz
kmoney123- January 20, 2010 at 12:35 pm
For starters what's with all the Canadian health care bashing..Coming from a country that charges you $5000.00 to have a baby I find it odd we are poking fun. What about the stories of people traveling to the USA that have a heart attack and get a $30,000 bill for one day in the hospital. Lets try to keep it about MMA, because we all know both our health care system have there negatives.
metricjulie- January 20, 2010 at 9:55 am
i enjoyed this article very much. relays the information while being tongue-in-cheek. WELL DONE.

PS... it's hockey we play.

mogwaio- November 26, 2009 at 10:50 am
I find it both sad and funny that people who in reality know little to nothing about health care in either country feel they they've got it all figured out and are 100% sure of themselves. These are the same people who before the media and politicians put this issue on the table couldn't have cared less about it (weren't even thinking about it for that matter). The reality is that 99% of you have done absolutely no real research whatsoever and are just parroting what the media and / or your fellow brainwashed butt buddies have been mindlessly spouting for however long that this issue has been on the table. If you read / listen to any 'relatively' independent studies done in comparing the two you will find that they're both terrible in some ways and 'okay' in others, and that about the same % of people are being screwed by their respective systems. Moreover, those of you who keep stating that Canada (or any country on Earth, for that matter) has "free" health care are clueless; Canadian health care is not free, you pay for it through higher taxes and / or more of your taxes are directed to health care (and thus directed away from other important things). How do you think your doctors get paid, and how do you think new medical equipment / supplies are purchased / utilized? Magic? Newsflash: Nothing in life is free; freedom isn't even free anymore.
funcher- November 19, 2009 at 10:34 am
First of all those entail a lot more than general health. Second higher than the states. Third most uneducated statement and biased statement I have ever heard. For one medicine is not free in Canada. Health care is for Canadian citizens. That means that we dont have to pay to go see a doctor or pay to be in the hospital. Does not mean we get our medication free. A lot of Doctor's in the states are Canadian because they get paid better there. And one of my good friends is a chiropractor and they focus on muscles and bones. Not medication. They do not go to med school. Lesnars chiropractor is looking to get his name out there. This is the work of terrible reporting and uneducated speculation by a second rate MMA site. Canada will take the blame for Celine Dion but at least were smart enough to ship her away to vegas. There is not one fact just well I think there is no free medicine.
TimReaper87- November 19, 2009 at 8:38 am
P.S- TimReaper87 lives on....looks like the americans were all talk again...maybe this time they couldn't get the canadians to fight their battles for them.
PerryThomas- November 18, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Wow, you used about every Canadian stereotype there is. You forgot to mention that we also drink maple syrup, and ride polar bears to work.
PurplePickle- November 18, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Just for shits and giggles, lets all go over to DailyKos or HuffPo and start an epic Fedor vs Anderson P4P debate.
831 Son- November 18, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Wow WuTang, you continue to amaze with your stupidity. You are wrong about every one of those, retard.
WuTangClan- November 18, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Canada has better dank, better beer, better women, better health care, better country.

Enough said.
exes.for.iballs- November 18, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Canucks suck maple leafs suck blue jays suck raptors suck celine dieon sucks gsp sucks.

If there's anybody I left out feel free to share.
Bob Reilly- November 18, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Nobody reads posts this far down so I'll just shut up.
bitteralex- November 18, 2009 at 4:06 pm
whoa whoa whoa... how did a post about brock lesnar ever turn into a debate about health care reform???

and if everyone hates lesnar so much... shouldn't the entire mma community be thanking us canadians for trying to kill him? its not our fault he has the intestinal fortitude of a elephant on dinosaur steroids...

but im sure the americans will claim if they wanted brock dead... he'd be dead.. and i'll admit, with your health care system.. you'd probably be right...
extrenix- November 18, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Brock probably tried real beer and couldn't handle it like any americans...
831 Son- November 18, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Chiggs, you are a fucking faggot. Not only for talking about Brocks tattoo, but for being a complete retard when it comes to common sense.
831 Son- November 18, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Who gives a shit you girls. We get it, Canucks got free, and possibly inferior healthcare. Shut up and leave it at that, this is an MMA website.
TheJuggernaut- November 18, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Damn it matah. You are fueling the argument for brock's chiropractor. Who is amazing to have to pop that coke machine sized man's back and neck.
matahtak- November 18, 2009 at 3:24 pm
I want to say, as a Canadian, I could totally see this. I'm not sure about the rest of Canada but in Ontario we avoid hospitals as much as possible. A close family friend went in for minor surgery and wound up getting bad infection (to which they have to have a bag attached to their stomach for the rest of his life).

Seriously if you are in Ontario and need to get to a hospital, pay for the cab to Buffalo.
honkey_kong- November 18, 2009 at 3:13 pm
I find that dickheads often receive a lower level of care whether it be in America or Canada.
Chiggs- November 18, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Dont forget though, most Americains are illiterate as well and probably wont/cant comphrehend anything you just wrote unfortunately. And LoL @ A Chiropractor giving serious medical advice/commentary. Ahh well least the posters for most part at Fightlinker know whats what :P Also I love our fucking FREE Healthcare, and it cant be too bad with the amount of damn Yankees coming across the border to access our Great Healtcare and Hospitals. Its obvious its a STD from having a Giant cock on his chest pointing at his mouth an head, ever see the pick of him Pointing horrendously at his mouth thats posted everywhere?? Need I say more...
Fat_Masterson- November 18, 2009 at 2:58 pm
I say we flood the border with molasses and invade immediately. Then, we should take all of their hockey players and force them to live in South Compton. See how they like that health plan.
Da Spied Her- November 18, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Oops, CP, just a small typo. It's Lesnar's "choir-proctor", not "chiropractor". (I hope I got the hyphen right)