(“You know what else doesn’t work on me? Left hooks to the fa-DAMN IT!” / Photo via Inovafoto)
Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira is the oldest 36-year-old in the history of humanity. And while he came into his UFC 153 fight against Dave Herman as a more-than 2-1 favorite, he didn’t inspire much confidence at the weigh-ins, where he dragged his way up to the stage, shook Arianny Celeste‘s hand (perhaps mistaking her for Burt Watson?), used his brother to brace himself while taking off his wind pants, removed his shirt to reveal a noticeably soft midsection, then limped his way to the staredown.
Former interim UFC heavyweight champion Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira fought Dave Herman at UFC 153 with a fractured rib. Nogueira suffered the injury a week into training for the short notice bout with Herman in Brazil. “Fractured my rib three weeks ago on my right side,” said Nogueira, in an interview with SporTV. “I went to the doctor, took a local anesthetic to be able to train.”
With a redemptive armbar victory over a jackass in his home country — and after a two-year stretch that saw him undergo surgery on two knees, a hip, and an arm, not to mention countless smaller injuries including the aforementioned rib — you’d think this might be a good moment for Nogueira to step away from the sport like a hero, without risking any more long-lasting damage to his body. Obviously, that’s not happening, and Nogueira is asking for a top-ten opponent in his next appearance. Jesus, man, what’s it gonna take? Are you really going to keep fighting until your entire body looks like that hole in your back?
Our suggestion: Feed Nog #1 light-heavyweight contender Chael Sonnen, after Sonnen inevitably crashes and burns against Jon Jones. Unless Nogueira wants a top-ten heavyweight, in which case we got nothin’.