infomercial fail gifs
21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Cage Potato Ban Violation Alert: Brandon Vera


(You may have been listening to us, Brandon. But you certainly weren’t *hearing* us.)

I swear you guys, sometimes it almost seems like these fighters are not constantly checking our site for updates and then living according to what we say like it’s the freaking gospel. Just a little over two weeks ago we enacted one of our irrevocable Cage Potato Bans on the practice of promising to bring back your old self. We’d had more than we could stand of guys vowing that this next fight, this was when we’d once again see that bright-eyed young ass-kicker we’d once known. It struck us as a cloying and empty gesture, and so we banished it from the land forever.

But wouldn’t you know it? Here comes Brandon Vera, wantonly flouting our edict like it meant absolutely nothing to him. As he told MMA Weekly:

“I stopped believing in the hype, I stopped worrying about what people think. I’m going back in there just trying to hurt people again like I used to,” Vera said. “When I first came out, I would just bang on people and roll with people just to see them break. I got away from that somehow. I don’t know what happened. I got sucked into the MMA world of trying not to disappoint people. I’m over it, I want to go back in there and start doing things like I used to.”


Really? That’s your plan for beating Jon Jones? Because it sounds eerily similar to what you’ve been saying for the past year, and yet the results haven’t exactly been outstanding. How about this, instead of going into a fight against a talented young up-and-comer with the stated goal of being someone you already were in the past, how about trying to become someone better? 

Face it, Jones has seen that old Brandon Vera on tape already.  We all have.  Even if you manage to be a carbon copy of the guy who bashed Frank Mir‘s head in, how much do you really think that will surprise him? 

Come on, Brandon.  You’re better than these tired clichés.  At least, we’d really like to believe you are.

Cagepotato Comments

Showing 1-25 of comments

comments
Sort by : Show hidden comments
budsellers- March 18, 2010 at 9:47 pm
just noticed that clay guida used this line in his ufc.com fight hype video

"you're going to see the clay guida of old..."
Jazzninja- March 17, 2010 at 10:46 pm
:S Is it just me that looked at that photo and thought Brandon Vera was waving around a dismembered hand?!
robthom- March 17, 2010 at 10:38 am
"...and that was the old Mir version 1.0.."

I'd describe it more as mir 0.5 after the crushed pelvis, femur, depression and weight gain.


IMO vera did have great potential. You cant always measure that only by the comp they've been givin (Fedor), especially if they're just starting to climb.

But I dont think the Vera today would beat the vera from 3-4 years ago (gosh, has it been that long!).
The technical skills are probably still there, but the aggression and enthusiasm doesn't seem to be.

NECROPHYTE- March 17, 2010 at 9:59 am
Brandon "the Douche" Vera goes down in the 2nd rnd!!!!
JCVD as Timecop- March 17, 2010 at 9:40 am
He didn't explicitly SAY "I need to go back to the old me." I think that it's only a slight violation.
macreadysshack- March 17, 2010 at 7:38 am
The only way Vera wins is if Bones is still playing 'guess and check' with UFC rules.
andoy162- March 17, 2010 at 6:58 am
im sure his fight with jones will be disappointing....no killer instinct from vera. better change your training camp. better change your mind set and just be aggressive in the octagon and bring in killer instincts. ko and a sub always impresses mma fans and not a decision (unless of course you really dominate all rounds).
L for vera, w for jones.
agentsmith- March 17, 2010 at 5:49 am
You know when and why Vera used to kick ass? When he was fighting scrubs. The guys he smashed in his first few UFC fights were low-level scrubs except for Frank Mir, and that was the old Mir version 1.0... the updated Mir would smash him. Then Vera had his year off, and when he came back he was facing upper-level guys like Sylvia and Werdum, and suddenly everyone wonders why he's not knocking bitches out anymore.
Sine- March 17, 2010 at 5:36 am
Sounds like he’s recommitted to beating the hell out of his training partners…
ghostboner- March 17, 2010 at 2:51 am
I used to hate Vera. Ever since he dropped to 205 and got beat by Jardine I like him. I have this problem a lot. Same thing happened with Koscheck. Koscheck used to be my most hated. Both dudes are undeniably douch-ey, yet I find that now I want them to win. Is there a support group for this?
cecils_pupils- March 16, 2010 at 11:35 pm
It does not matter which Brandon Vera shows up on Sunday. Bones would kick the shit outta both the old and new Vera at the same time.
Paysayten- March 16, 2010 at 11:17 pm
If The Truth wants to bring his old self back he'll need to re-gain that power gut he used to have. Remember? The one he had at heavyweight, it kinda used to look like Chuka's gut. It helped him KO people like Chuka too. Unfortunately at his height I doubt he can make 205 with his old power gut back.
Milklavar- March 16, 2010 at 10:40 pm
Oh shut up CP. You act like u know which brandon Vera will show up and have been viewing his improvement during his training camp. I am not a Brandon Vera fan by no means, but you talk sh*t about him like he is not fighting well or trying to improve. Did you ever hit you he is trying to get people excited for the fight and wants to put a good show?
ccarter- March 16, 2010 at 10:12 pm
at first glance. it looks like he is holding a severed limb? anyone else see that?

That being said, Vera is an A level fighter. Problem for him, is consistency, and UFC 205 division only has A level fighters.
fiveforfive- March 16, 2010 at 9:43 pm
I keep forgetting to check the CP wikipedia entry for hilarious vandalism.
PurplePickle- March 16, 2010 at 9:27 pm
1. Goog and HAL are either the same person or roommates. It don't matter cause I'm fond of both.

2. While we are missing people, where have UFC Fan, 831 Son, and Smitty been hiding? Come back you lovely bastards.

3. The other day I was working/shitting/beating off and thought if any current fighter had the ability to return to his old self, it would be Vera.

He seems to be the only fighter whose slump was self imposed. He aint old, broken, or washed up. Maybe Bones can bring out his talent. Then again, maybe his wet blanket pace is what the doctor ordered for the Youtube ninja.

Either way, thank you DirectTV and Versus for kissing and making up.
tysonmcneely- March 16, 2010 at 8:09 pm
So ban means write a whole post on it now?
Kimbos Bread- March 16, 2010 at 7:55 pm
Yeah, what the hell happened to TUF GUY?

Last I heard they never found the body.
Sjsurf- March 16, 2010 at 7:53 pm
Im with goog on this one, where the fuck is HAL?
Get Off Me- March 16, 2010 at 7:42 pm
I called Vera on this a little over two weeks ago on the "old self" thread.....This is strike three for Vera in my books, but first under the ban rule, still a Mazzagatti like call two weeks later.

Get Off Me Says:
Mon, 03/01/2010 - 15:10
The old me routine is tired. I vote in favour of the BAN.

Clay Guida has to get old first to get back to his old self......

Tito Ortiz needs to come back to earth from Doucheryville and realize that he has lost all cred since leaving the UFC with a vintage Tito performance against Lyoto Machida(right down to the crying at the end of the fight).

Wanderlai, it's not back to the old wanderlai, it's just an old wanderlai, but I will still pay to watch that guy fight, even if he is begining to ride off into the sunset.

The remedy is what we see the UFC do with Randy Couture, carefully pick opponents that won't expose a fighter and avoid the whole "I need to get back to my old self" thing. Do you think Dana would let Chuck fight anyone other than Tito Ortiz? I mean the old Tito, the super entertaining juggernaut who got ko'd by Chuck twice already.

@mthomas and Richard Tucker
My Fav is Brandon Vera recently saying he has to get back to his old self......

Login or register to post comments
blackboxmma- March 16, 2010 at 7:01 pm
I think he means that he wants to eat pizzas again and become a fat fck like he used to be. That wont work on Bones Jones.
robthom- March 16, 2010 at 6:30 pm
To merely mention the reacquiring of the "old self" is just about as mathematically accurate a guarantee there is that that wont be happening.
Goog- March 16, 2010 at 6:25 pm
Bring back the old CP. Where's HAL?
JiMMA- March 16, 2010 at 6:10 pm
Don't forget Clay Guida, he is promising to "bring the old caveman back".
Harry Nips- March 16, 2010 at 5:26 pm
Brandon Vera has been irrelevant for quite awhile now but always seems to think he's right in the mix. He talks a great game leading up to his fights but then his fights always end up being giant shitbombs.
CagePotatoMMA