(Well, this just *screams* legitimacy. Pic: Cage vs. Cons)
My God, we had totally forgotten about this debacle: About a year ago we told you that a couple of janky promoters out in Hollyweird were set to launch a series of live MMA shows pitting a stable of “good guy” professional fighters against “bad boy” former convicts and criminals. At the time, the whole venture – called “Cage vs. Cons,” you’ll remember – seemed too hokey to become reality. Well, guess again, as a reader tip pointed out this week that somehow nobody has stepped in to pull the plug on this walking corpse and its official website says “Cage vs. Cons” is actually gearing up for its first show in May.
But, but, but wait, it gets worse (yes, that’s an Onyx reference for all you 30-somethings): Cage vs. Cons has allegedly inked well known character actors Danny Trejo and Tommy “Tiny” Lister – better known as “Machete” from, uh, “Machete” and “Deebo” from “Friday,” respectively – to be “hosts” of sorts for the first event. And yes, the website actually refers to Lister as “Deebo” half the time as if that’s his real name. They’ve also released a complete-ish lineup of fights (so, they’re one step ahead of the average Strikeforce show) and are advertising live performances from a boatload of rappers we’ve heard of before. The particulars, including the bitchin’ “Cage vs. Cons” theme song – by a group called Big Twins – are all after the jump.
“Cage vs. Cons is a professional mixed martial arts (MMA) promotion company that hosts fan-pleasing events pitting nothing-to-lose ex-convicts against hard-hitting police officers, prison guards, firefighters, teachers, Marines and other members of the military and law enforcement,” says the ‘about’ section on the CVC website, going on to say that co-founder Michael Lynch can use his “prison connections … to attract the best fighters once they are released from custody …”
Eat your heart out, Joe Silva.
While it should be noted that a quick glance at the proposed fights makes it look like the matchmaking doesn’t seem – as Charles Barkley might say – turrible, but it does appear that the “cons” have edges in either record or experience in nearly every fight. So, it looks like we know which audience CVC is trying to cater to here. We guess it goes without saying that we’ve never heard of any of these fighters before, but we love the following exchange from the website between light heavyweights Jessie “Sergeant” Cannon and convicted-robber-turned-devout-Christian Corey Dennis:
“I really just love to punch people. I like to fight, but I don’t like to get into trouble,” says Cannon, who we gather is the ‘good guy.’ “I have to put hands on something or somebody each day. I need to punch some guy in the face.”
“I really love kicking people in the head,” Dennis says.
Cage vs. Cons also advertises live shows from rappers such as E-40, The Dogg Pound, Wu Tang’s Killah Priest, Too Short, Mobb Deep and Kool Keith, among others. Like we said, the promotion even has its own theme song from alleged Mobb Deep affiliates Big Twins. Yeah, it sound suspiciously like they made it up as they went along, but there they are in the video, reading words off a piece of paper. You’ll also note that the video features some footage from Cage vs. Cons promoters’ previous endeavor, “Felony Fights,” which looks like it was just super.