(Nope. Nothing to see here. Everyone just move along. Photo via Iamflashdance.)
If following loosely MMA-related minor celebrities on Twitter is your thing, there’s a chance that you have already seen Jenna Jameson‘s latest tirade against Tito Ortiz last night. That’s right, the couple known for their crazy, attention-seeking behavior decided to air their dirty laundry on Twitter, and it was just as outrageous and pathetic as you’d expect it to be.
There’s no way I’m covering every tweet from this disaster, so here’s the short version: Jenna accused Tito of taking her children, cheating his drug tests with the UFC and almost killing her in February. As “proof” that Tito Ortiz is a raging drug addict, Jenna tweeted a picture of a drawer that she claimed belonged to Ortiz — which contained a few syringes and a bottle of Ibuprofen — and a picture of the Diet Cokes in her fridge with some prescription bottles above them. Tito responded to MMAJunkie.com by essentially saying “think of the goddamn children” before blaming her for all those losses at the end of his career.
Of course I’m not joking about that last statement. Tito Ortiz said that Jenna Jameson’s erratic behavior distracted him before the fights he lost at the end of his career; presumably because even he has finally realized how pathetic of an excuse “I totally had a cracked skull, you guys” is.
This may be more of a precautionary measure than anything else — who knows if Jenna Jameson will actually come forward with a story about Tito Ortiz almost killing her — but it’s right about now that I think we need to revisit a defunct CagePotato Ban from the days when Ortiz was a free agent claiming to be “very close” to signing with a new promotion every other day:
Well, that settles that. Tito, you have fooled us for the last time. Just as E! banned Speidi, CagePotato will now enact a news ban on Tito Ortiz until he actually does something newsworthy. Seriously. Even if it’s the slowest of slow news days, and the only story going around is that Tito is “very close” to signing a deal with DREAM to participate in their “Super Douchebag Tournament,” we won’t cover it until it actually happens. That’s our promise to you.
Except this time, we’ll strictly bring it back for the Tito vs. Jenna feud. As a UFC Hall of Famer and Cris Cyborg’s manager, Ortiz doesn’t deserve to be banned from this site. But unless one of them either gets arrested or brings the other to court, we’ll leave their tabloid relationship drama to the experts on that sort of thing.