MMA Fail of the Year: Dude Dares His Opponent to Knock Him Out, Is Kindly Obliged
I want you to think of the most common criticism of mixed martial arts as a sport that doesn’t involve gay sex references. Regardless of what you thought of — be it that MMA fighters aren’t real athletes, a boxer/kickboxer/Shaolin monk/etc. would destroy an MMA fighter in a real fight, that MMA fighters can’t take a punch or that MMA fighters are a bunch of idiotic, meathead frat boys — this supports that criticism. In fact, this clip did more to make us look bad this year than every season of The Ultimate Fighter, every domestic violence case, every tribal tattoo, painted fingernail, Affliction t-shirt and fluorescent mohawk combined. - Seth Falvo
Dishonorable mentions: The amateur that Nick Diazed before getting KTFO, the tubby bro who thought a sloppy backfist would defeat a halfway smart guy with muscles and skills, the guy who knocked himself out by missing a flying kick, James Irvin proving he’s not quite XARM material, pretty much everything Ken Shamrock did this year. (Yes, again).
Catchphrase of the Year: “Let Me Bang, Bro”
In 100 years, whenever there’s a schoolyard tussle that some do-gooder is trying to break up, the phrase “Let me bang, bro” will most certainly be heard and understood by all parties present. They will not know the origins, just as we don’t for the vast majority of phrases we spit out daily, but that’s the beauty of a great phrase — it lives on while the loser who immortalized it is cruelly forgotten by history. And in Julian Lane’s case, that’s a very good thing. - Anthony Gannon
Honorable mention: dicknailed
The Steve Nelmark Memorial “Is He Dead?” Award: Strikeforce’s Long, Slow Demise
We’ve seen dozens of candidates for this award get absolutely dicknailed this year, but only one of them has been abused so badly and so often throughout 2012 to truly deserve this award: Strikeforce. Yes, Scott Coker’s darling angel and Dana White’s bastard stepchild has seen its best cards get overshadowed by the lack of direction for the promotion, its not-so-hot cards get cancelled entirely, its best fighters shipped off to the UFC and injury/apathy keeping the few fighters Strikeforce still has worth watching out of action. A lot of fighters this year made us wonder if they were still alive after being on the receiving end of a vicious knockout. Strikeforce made us hope that someone would mercifully put it out of its misery. - Seth Falvo
Honorable Mention: Paulo Thiago, whose devastating loss to Siyar Bahadurzada @ UFC on FUEL 2 inspired the usage of “dicknailed” in the first place.
Best Female Newcomer: Jessica Cambensy
The “UFC Macao” Octagon Girl proved that as awful and genocidal as the Spanish Empire was, they did make one significant contribution to the human race when they force-fed their ‘pure’ blood with that of the savage indigenous folks who inhabited the Philippines. The result: smokin’ hot babes like Jessica, who possess not only that sexy Asianness, but the larger European bust that the good Lord did not see fit to bestow upon the women of the Orient. - Anthony Gannon
Honorable mentions: Shannon Ihrke (gorgeous from any angle!), Nicole Mejia, Belle Rodriguez, Kat Kelley, Kahili Blundell, Katie DeLuca, Kendra Schnell, Donna Lazarescu, Paizly Contreras, Natalie Lawrence