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CagePotato Comments of the Week: The Magic Ship Back to Earth

(Now picture the fist rapidly moving up and down.)

Remember when we brought back Comments of the Week weeks ago and I joked about how I would immediately forget about it by the following week — and then I did forget about it? That was insane, and totally unexpected. But thanks to a GIF of a guy jerking off while unconscious (i.e., “pulling a Carradine”), we’re back on track.

Today’s comment winners will receive the new version of CagePotato Devil’s Horns shirt, with the fist on the back, as pictured above. If your name is called, just e-mail with your name, size, and mailing address. Alright? Now let’s see who commented hardest this week…

Kaboom82 on “GIF of the Year Candidate: Kaleo Gambill Enjoys an Involuntary Post-Fight Beat-Off“:
Yo Dawg, we heard you like beatings. So we put a beating in your beating so you could watch a guy knock one out when he gets knocked out.

Mofo on “GIF of the Year Candidate: Kaleo Gambill Enjoys an Involuntary Post-Fight Beat-Off“:
He was intelligently pleasuring himself.

Kid Clam Curtains on “On This Day in MMA History: Affliction Held Its Second and Final MMA Event…Ever“:
Members only > Zubaz > Frankie Says Relax > Hypercolor > Gotcha > Stussy > Tapout > No Fear > Bad Boy > a vaginal yeast infection > Von Dutch > Ed Hardy > Affliction

In the insane rant category…

Bootystar on “ Hacked By Cyber Nazis“:
nice work by anonymous, you might as well be rooting for Pat Barry vs Morecraft, it’s not like the ufc doesn’t own both their likenesses & jobs like a butcher selling both pork & beef. people might cheer for the predator over the alien, but at the end of the day the predators sees you as no more than prey, not a partner. so don’t imagine he’ll send you on the magic ship back to earth…how is this not two hands of a d-bag playing a ponzi scheme while on lookers think that the left hand is the magic hand. No one seems to realize the d-bag has a gun on both hips. Yet everyone swears up & down the the left hand is the good hand cuz it has a pink ribbon on it. MMA fans like everyone else have no idea that a truly successful fighter uses both hands not just the right. look up “goldman 1984?…think of it this way, herding sheep isn’t just a one man job. you got a dog in the mix too. or when you rustle cattle you got how many other guys all around the 99 bulls rounding them all up. just one guy can’t do it. why do you think there is more than one political party. the bulls are getting rounded up for el matador…it’s not as if “the animal farm” by george orwell was really about animals.
[Ed. note: wasn't? Great, now I have to re-do my entire diorama.]

Cagepotato Comments

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GistoftheFist- January 28, 2012 at 11:36 am
Vag is so fat, she doesn't have periods she has exclamation marks. Now i'm just reminded of Reggie from The Nutty Professor.
Mofo- January 28, 2012 at 10:02 am
Good shit you sick bastards.
Vagina is so fat,
we rode up on her back to get some burgers from Wendy's
and her skates went flat, I got stuck in her butt crack.
They thought I was lost but I was caught by the G-strap.
Heaven forbid a giant fart would give way,
cuz that would blow me 'round the world in a day.
We drove into the drive-in and she didn't have to pay,
because we dressed her up to look just like a Chevrolet.
intercept440- January 28, 2012 at 9:49 am
oh.. we have a new game were playing... im in..
ok here we go.

Vagina carano is so fat they had to photoshop photoshop, in order to fix the poster.
gina is so fat her mooseknuckle has it's own wieght loss program approved by jenny craig.
ide still let her blow me though..

i hear fat chicks give good head
Houstons db- January 28, 2012 at 9:25 am
I dont know how yall do it but everytime I look at the comments I literally see jizz all over them. Fuggin jizz on the comment right above me!! Gross!! You need to CC Cleaner this hoe before your moms walk in..
ccman- January 28, 2012 at 8:45 am
Ill play
Vagina carano is so fat, if you cut her my jizz comes out.
Vagina carano is so fat, penises orbit around her.
Vagina carano is so fat, they had to use a normal towel so only her dad could rub one out.
Vagina carano is so fat, I could only hit it every OTHER hour.
XENOPHON- January 28, 2012 at 8:45 am
RwilsonR Says: - I know, I get robbed all the time with this outfit.
According to Ben and the guys, even Carmen Valentina bumped me out during their radio show.

No need to bust some Booty soon - he is alright in my book.
Then again a "T" shirt is not worth getting upset about.
I got a good idea. How about a banned Cage Potato T-shirt with only Dana Whites Social Security Number and Home Phone Number?
Mofo- January 28, 2012 at 7:50 am
New rule: you can only make fat jokes about her if you call her VaGina Carano.
RwilsonR- January 28, 2012 at 7:37 am
Yeah GB, have at it. Make sure to use a lot of zzzzzzz's for extra originality.
ghostboner- January 28, 2012 at 12:00 am
Wait, Gyna fat jokes are the lowest? So, it's cool if I start making Jake Shields is so boring... jokes again?
RwilsonR- January 27, 2012 at 11:52 pm
^ ^ I'm pretty sure the lowest form of comedy is making fat jokes about Gina Carano, but those are still the best ones we have on here. Intercept was robbed. But his shameless self-promotion in reminding us of this robbery makes me not feel bad about him being overlooked.
Plus, KCC reminded me of Hypercolor shirts, which, while not funny, deserves some recognition.
smellypiratehooker- January 27, 2012 at 11:17 pm
Reminding people of comedy is the lowest form of comedy. Kaboom FTW. minus 3 points to intercept
RwilsonR- January 27, 2012 at 10:48 pm
XENO, I can't believe you got robbed out of winning the 'insane rant' category. This thing is rigged.
Mofo- January 27, 2012 at 9:40 pm
Wait CP is sending out belly shirts?? I want one o' THOSE!
ClinchthatstoleChristmas- January 27, 2012 at 9:28 pm
I've got a sick nick name.
It will make even ordinary comments sound funnier.

Watch out Fried Taco et al.
Mofo- January 27, 2012 at 9:10 pm
"Who commented hardest this week"? My comments were rock hard. That's not the only thing that's rock hard. But that's because I know I'm getting a shirt.
ReX13- January 27, 2012 at 7:06 pm
oh wait, yeah, intercept 440 was robbed. that shit was funny as hell.
XENOPHON- January 27, 2012 at 6:23 pm
Weak Sauce!
Come on, what is with all the politically correct winners all the time.
If "vaginal yeast infection" is the foulest you will re-print. Close down the network connections, vacate your lease, and get out of MMA sports writing.
Weak "Arm Farmed" Sauce~!
Kid Clam Curtains- January 27, 2012 at 5:59 pm
Good timing. My last CP shirt is starting to look pretty shitty. Plus I'm way fatter now so its more of a belly shirt.
ccman- January 27, 2012 at 3:58 pm
Seriously, you guys haven't figured out, original and or funny < blew a contributor or agreed with random writer< Canadian< weak enough contributor could get the girl at the bar drinking with you wins this shit for the past year? Actually I'm pretty sure references to fedors (how fucking retarded/WOW addicted can you be without parental controls) sweater or random 80's or Zuffa hate is the winner. See haywire contest as evidence. All winners were random versions of 20 of the same joke.
intercept440- January 27, 2012 at 3:04 pm
ohh forgot you need to add donkey inbetween the two.

we pull no donkey punches
intercept440- January 27, 2012 at 3:03 pm
may i suggest givng a larger space between the wording on the pic

we pull no

that way i can copy it and make a seperate t-shirt out of it.
NomadRip- January 27, 2012 at 3:00 pm
I reference yes-cartwheels, and I get no fisting shirt love at all? Shit's rigged.
They do send out shirts. I've won 3 on here, and they've sent me 2.
And Xeno is Danja's backup account. /tinfoil
ghostboner- January 27, 2012 at 2:54 pm
that was pretty good there, intercept
bootystar- January 27, 2012 at 2:52 pm
good work eclipse440, er intercept440, lol

captacha= bunda lurve :)
intercept440- January 27, 2012 at 2:48 pm
bah i had comment of the week .
when danga asked if anyone had seen haywire.
\i said yeah i saw it at seaworld, she does some pretty good acrobatics, but i didnt like getting splashed by her tail.
captcha =jewfurth eclispe