("It is our destiny to become an advanced race and to kill the earth in the process, only in all probability to be crushed by an even more advanced and complexed system. One day we will find other human like creatures that have noses on their arms and we will find them ugly and they will find us ugly." More from this insane rant after the jump! Photo props to HolyTaco.)

Dana Mother F$%king White on "Aleks Emelianenko Leaves Red Devil, Continues to Pretend That He Can Fight in America": Instead of hatin’ on him, ya’ll should Hepa brother out.
[Ed. note: ZING!]

El Famous Burrito on "The Potato Index: UFC 96 Aftermath": The UFC needs to get Vince from the Shamwow commercials to pitch title fights to guys:
"Ok Rampage, if you act now, and call your manager in the next 20 minutes, because we can’t do this all day, we’ll send you to Vegas to fight Rashad Evans for the title. And as a bonus we’ll throw in a fight at UFC 99, because we all know the Germans need good fights, you can even use the Shamwow to wipe down those greasy Jackson fighters. You’ll be saying wow every time."
[Ed. note: Hey, it worked for Lyoto "SlapChop" Machida.]


Canadian Produce on "The Potato Index: UFC 96 Aftermath": Did you know that the universe is growing towards complexity? The complexity theory is that the universe started out with a big bang of simple yet infinite matter that blossomed out into ever increasingly complexed systems of light, energy matter and other space stuff. The human complexity is that humans have thumbs to build shit. Shit like spaceships…and to break shit, like peoples faces. It is our destiny to become an advanced race and to kill the earth in the process, only in all probability to be crushed by an even more advanced and complexed system. One day we will find other human like creatures that have noses on their arms and we will find them ugly and they will find us ugly. The point here is that Rashad won’t stay on top much longer. Sure he will beat Rampage but Lyoto has complexed magic. His complexity is more advanced than Rashads and Lyoto will briefly rule the universe (briefly being in relation to the millions and billions of years of the Universe’s existence). You’re welcome.
[Ed. note: Thanks for stopping by, Dan!]

slapjaw ackrite on "Shane Carwin: A Man in Need of a Nickname": Shane "Brock Without the Cock" Carwin
[Ed. note: Clever!]

lightsoutlile on "Shane Carwin: A Man in Need of a Nickname": Shane "The Rolled Back Foreskin" Carwin
[Ed. note: Terrifying!]

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