(For the next few weeks, "Comments of the Week" winners will score subscriptions to our favorite MMA-rag, Fight! Magazine. Follow Fight! on Twitter, and pick up the latest issue on newsstands now. Pictured above: "Gens" himself.)
There are some people in this world who are so socially inept and abrasive in real life that they can only function on the Internet, relying on non-relationships with total strangers via message boards and blog comments. And then, there are some people who can’t even do that right. Such is the case with "thisredengine," a truly bizarre individual who showed up here out of the blue on Tuesday, and immediately tried to impress all of you by claiming the following:
– He’s pretty well-known and respected over at BloodyElbow.com, and regularly tweets with Leland Roling. He’s pretty much an unofficial staffer there.
– MMA legend "Gens" Pulver once acknowledged something he wrote.
– He’s a jet-setting world traveler, on account of his job.
– He considers himself "one of the cool kids in the MMA community."
– He considers himself and BE’s Luke Thomas to be "a level above most in MMA conversations." The readers of this site would not be able to hang on his conversation-level.
– He ignores all comments from people he doesn’t know, which on this site would be everybody.
Though many of us (including myself) begged him to fuck off and leave us alone, he refused to fuck off. And so, new contributor ReX13 hit him with what will go down in history as the "I Have a Dream" speech of CagePotato.com…
ReX13 on "DREAM Cancels Light Heavyweight Tournament; Is the Organization in Trouble?":
Ok, i’ll acknowledge this little POS.
i’m going to say this once, and then go back to ignoring you. This may be feasting the troll, but apparently you take yourself seriously.
Since you seem so keen on people "following the rules", please consider that you do not set policy here. You are not an expert here. You are not well-liked, which i understand is not a concern to you, but what’s more, you are not well-respected. Let that sink in. You seem to thrive on the idea that your opinions matter, and perhaps to some people, somewhere, they do. However, that place is not here. Those people hold no sway here. Luke Thomas is not here, or any of your other "friends".
WE are here. We are the Potato Nation, and we’re doing just fine with our poop jokes and tenuous grasp of this crazy ultimate fighting stuff. We could give two shits if people make jokes about spousal abuse, pedophilia, coprophagia, cancer, infanticide, fratricide, regicide, redengineicide, et al. Some of us are twisted. Some of us are silly. Some of us are just straight assholes, brah. We are Potato Nation, and we don’t need you, Bloody Elbow, or Brent "Bitchtits" Brookhouse to tell us what’s what.
Now if you want to tone down the "i take this very seriously" and enjoy some humor (and occassional enlightened discussion) about a sport that we all love, then by all means, join us. We don’t care how you found us, or how long you’ve been posting, or even if you’re batshit crazy. We actually are sort of fond of our trolls. If you’re only here on a crusade to bring knowledge to the backwater hicks at CagePotato, then we will tell you in no uncertain terms: go fuck yourself.
We are the Potato Nation, and we are every bit as knowledgable, hardcore, sophisticated, and intelligent as any group of MMA fans anywhere. That we interact differently than you find appropriate is not our problem.
War Potato, bitch.
Fortunately, this story has a happy ending — I banned "thisredengine" yesterday, officially for over-spamming of BloodyElbow links, and unofficially because he’s a delusional asshole who’s infecting us with his psycho germs. Good luck finding a welcoming community that finds you as interesting as you think you are, TRE, though I shudder to think what that community would look like.
I’d also like to shout out two more readers this week: Jimbonics, for providing art to ReX13′s Bellator recap post, and nickslk, for providing the best punchline to the Tito vs. Jenna domestic dust-up…
"Like throwin’ a haymaker down a hallway."
If your name has been called, please shoot your real name and address to firstname.lastname@example.org, and we’ll hook you up with a subscription to Fight! Magazine. Your first issue should arrive as soon as next month, and as late as never.