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CagePotato Comments of the Week: A Show of Solidarity


(For the next few weeks, "Comments of the Week" winners will score subscriptions to our favorite MMA-rag, Fight! Magazine. Follow Fight! on Twitter, and pick up the latest issue on newsstands now. Pictured above: "Gens" himself.)

There are some people in this world who are so socially inept and abrasive in real life that they can only function on the Internet, relying on non-relationships with total strangers via message boards and blog comments. And then, there are some people who can’t even do that right. Such is the case with "thisredengine," a truly bizarre individual who showed up here out of the blue on Tuesday, and immediately tried to impress all of you by claiming the following:

– He’s pretty well-known and respected over at BloodyElbow.com, and regularly tweets with Leland Roling. He’s pretty much an unofficial staffer there.
– MMA legend "Gens" Pulver once acknowledged something he wrote.
– He’s a jet-setting world traveler, on account of his job.
– He considers himself "one of the cool kids in the MMA community."
– He considers himself and BE’s Luke Thomas to be "a level above most in MMA conversations." The readers of this site would not be able to hang on his conversation-level.
– He ignores all comments from people he doesn’t know, which on this site would be everybody.

Though many of us (including myself) begged him to fuck off and leave us alone, he refused to fuck off. And so, new contributor ReX13 hit him with what will go down in history as the "I Have a Dream" speech of CagePotato.com…


ReX13 on "DREAM Cancels Light Heavyweight Tournament; Is the Organization in Trouble?":

**sigh**

Ok, i’ll acknowledge this little POS.

thisredengine>>

i’m going to say this once, and then go back to ignoring you. This may be feasting the troll, but apparently you take yourself seriously.

Since you seem so keen on people "following the rules", please consider that you do not set policy here. You are not an expert here. You are not well-liked, which i understand is not a concern to you, but what’s more, you are not well-respected. Let that sink in. You seem to thrive on the idea that your opinions matter, and perhaps to some people, somewhere, they do. However, that place is not here. Those people hold no sway here. Luke Thomas is not here, or any of your other "friends".

WE are here. We are the Potato Nation, and we’re doing just fine with our poop jokes and tenuous grasp of this crazy ultimate fighting stuff. We could give two shits if people make jokes about spousal abuse, pedophilia, coprophagia, cancer, infanticide, fratricide, regicide, redengineicide, et al. Some of us are twisted. Some of us are silly. Some of us are just straight assholes, brah. We are Potato Nation, and we don’t need you, Bloody Elbow, or Brent "Bitchtits" Brookhouse to tell us what’s what.

Now if you want to tone down the "i take this very seriously" and enjoy some humor (and occassional enlightened discussion) about a sport that we all love, then by all means, join us. We don’t care how you found us, or how long you’ve been posting, or even if you’re batshit crazy. We actually are sort of fond of our trolls. If you’re only here on a crusade to bring knowledge to the backwater hicks at CagePotato, then we will tell you in no uncertain terms: go fuck yourself.

We are the Potato Nation, and we are every bit as knowledgable, hardcore, sophisticated, and intelligent as any group of MMA fans anywhere. That we interact differently than you find appropriate is not our problem.

It’s yours.

War Potato, bitch.

-RX

***************

Fortunately, this story has a happy ending — I banned "thisredengine" yesterday, officially for over-spamming of BloodyElbow links, and unofficially because he’s a delusional asshole who’s infecting us with his psycho germs. Good luck finding a welcoming community that finds you as interesting as you think you are, TRE, though I shudder to think what that community would look like. 

I’d also like to shout out two more readers this week: Jimbonics, for providing art to ReX13′s Bellator recap post, and nickslk, for providing the best punchline to the Tito vs. Jenna domestic dust-up

"Like throwin’ a haymaker down a hallway."

If your name has been called, please shoot your real name and address to feedback@cagepotato.com, and we’ll hook you up with a subscription to Fight! Magazine. Your first issue should arrive as soon as next month, and as late as never.

(BG)

Cagepotato Comments

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Jason Statham- August 21, 2011 at 8:44 am
this is really well done, keep it up!
jason statham workout
fatbellyfrank- May 1, 2010 at 4:08 pm
We've had a few over the last few weeks ratel, I seem to recall Cloiselle being quite the dicktard, definite similarities
Ratel- May 1, 2010 at 3:45 pm
That's it - Cloiselle indeed. He's probably related to CAPSLOCKHAL or little red dickhead.
Harry Nips- May 1, 2010 at 2:37 pm
@Ratel- I think his name was Cloiselle? He was claiming that he was going to be fighting in Chicago Golden Gloves this year, but little did he know, they were already over. If I remember correctly they had just ended the day before.
Ratel- May 1, 2010 at 1:33 pm
fagassery! nice one. i'm pretty sure that littlereddouchebag is a short guy. i mean, 5'2", max. the type of sawed off little bastard that tilts his head back to give the illusion that he's looking down from on high.

come to think of it, there was a fuckwad who was talking some shit in the last coupla weeks, and when a few of us who know some things about MMA called him on his bullshit, he started going off about being golden gloves in chicago. that worked for him (!) until somebody pointed out that golden gloves competition in that area was a month away, so who was he trying to fool... remember that guy?
KarmaAteMyCat- May 1, 2010 at 11:34 am
See this is what happens when you buy a five foot three Computer science major drop out a set of boxing gloves and a subscription to Fight Mag. Things get fucking carried away! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! Who even reads the bloody elbow anyway? I have Cagpotato.com and Dictionary.com and 420chan thats it! Nothing more is needed! I really should turn my forum account back on I always miss out on the good stuff. Oh well good job Potato NATION!!!!
dranokills- May 1, 2010 at 7:44 am
robthom Says:
Sat, 05/01/2010 - 07:41

^^
dranospills pretends that it knows bens.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

now now fellow spud, I promised your friend that I would cease and desist on you so don't start it again, or I will Samuel L. Jackson on you soooooo fast.
robthom- May 1, 2010 at 6:29 am
".. fagassery,..."

Big ole words just make all confused in stuff.
AndyInflammatory- May 1, 2010 at 5:28 am
so I fucked this dead kid who died of cancer etc


topical
ghostboner- May 1, 2010 at 4:02 am
On second thought, scrap the commemorative T-shirt idea. I don't want to give any more attention to a banned poopy pants-ed troll.
ghostboner- May 1, 2010 at 3:34 am
Son. Of. A. Bastard. I go play golf for one fucking evening and miss everything a second time! You magnificent assholes! This will be lengthy, and for that I apologize.

@Rex - Congratulations. I am going to swill a bottle of vodka throw back a shot in your honor. You were conspicuously absent, or at least tardy, for a few days, and I was wonderin where you was. I assume you were busy covering Bellator for my reading pleasure. I salute you sir. In a few short days you have: trumped MLK Jr, sent Shreck crying back to the bloodytampon, and authored a respectable article/engaged in coitus with BG. Here's to you, guy who is named after Pantera's bass player. Also, yes I do think CroCop CAN still whoop ass, but I don't think he will unless he sees AA's sports psych.

@Ratel - Thank you for finally helping me to find my new name.... theRatel. Or aRatel. Or slimRATELpleasestandup. I kid, I kid.

@justscrappin - the mental image of your scooby narrative was, in my opinion, very humorous.

@SouthSideEssay - I agree, a T-shirt would be neat. I started learning to photoshop a week or two ago for the poster contest, so I will begin work on some prospective designs. I encourage those of you who actually know how to use Photoshop to act accordingly.

@Charming Charlie - A name change perhaps, involving a 50% reduction in the original number of words? And not the last 50%... Can we not just enjoy this small piece of justice for one damn post? Can we not just imagine for one second that there is a God, and sometimes things do get put right? Too soon amigo. A week from now maybe you could have posted that. But not now. It is like taking a kid's presents away on Christmas morning right after he unwraps them.

@Debacle - tortion = torsion.
Clinch-Smash- May 1, 2010 at 2:34 am
@ HokeyPockey

I went on vacation and didn't have time to get on CP, came back just iching for a good troll bashing (not from me) and he was good, not that i was really pissed but let down that i missed his exit. was he banned or what happened, either way i'm really glad he's gone!

@ Ben LMAO really fuckin hard @ scott blevins ref that guy kills me, i have shared his youtube shit with everyone i know. It kills at parties.
HokeyPokeyLikeAoki- May 1, 2010 at 1:20 am
LOL @ "legendary trolls".

Is it a good thing if you're a CP troll... but you're also legendary? That's like being the best squeegee man in the world.

Which reminds me. What ever happened to UFC fag?
robthom- April 30, 2010 at 9:41 pm
^^
dranospills pretends that it knows bens.
dranokills- April 30, 2010 at 9:29 pm
Now now Ben that's just not nice, what did OBI do to you?
ben- April 30, 2010 at 8:50 pm
 Remember "Old, Bald & Irish"?  Used to write really long comments?  Turned out to be a 13-year-old Puerto Rican girl?
KillDozer- April 30, 2010 at 8:30 pm
man, I miss Tough Guy as well.
KillDozer- April 30, 2010 at 8:29 pm
Orly?? You guys got nothing better to do than prosecute some troll? I wish CAPSLOCKHAL was here to put you little bitches in place.
mt59801- April 30, 2010 at 7:47 pm
I thing rex should be the official "guest relations" officer for us
ben- April 30, 2010 at 7:42 pm
 ^^^He's the Scott Blevins of Internet commenting.@Ninjanate: Oh man, don't you dare bring up COOL!   This site has seen some legendary trolls, and he was by far the worst.
jimbonics- April 30, 2010 at 7:21 pm
I'd bet all my money he's the same dude and we didn't get trolled. He tried way too hard to be accepted in the last thread he was in, acquiescing and such. When that didn't work, he threatens libel or some fagassery, and states is was an impostor.

Dudes got issues.
dumbest fucking poster- April 30, 2010 at 7:20 pm
I'm smarter than charming charlie, he is quite verbose.
and a dick.
Komodo- April 30, 2010 at 6:19 pm
Well done, dudes :)
This has put a big smile on my face.
ItburnswhenIpee- April 30, 2010 at 6:19 pm
Did anyone else get the impression littleredengine was a (slightly) more cultured version of TUFGUY?
Same egomaniacal pompous bullshit, same desperate need to be loved...
cecils_pupils- April 30, 2010 at 5:41 pm
@poop on da wall - Earlier in the week I blasted you 'cuz you were harpin' on Mike Russell... now that I realize it, you were mini-trolling and I get nailed - good on ya.

Lately your posts have been really funny to me. Are you related to pooflinger? I am thinking you are possibly a pair of evil-doing poo twins...

Anyway homie, your humor has grown on me and made me lol today... well done!
CagePotatoMMA