It’s a new year, Potato Nation, and aside from an endless number of Mayan-themed jokes that will undoubtedly punctuate most of our content, we’ve decided to kick off 2012 with you, our esteemed followers, in mind. And while we had more than our fill of exciting brawls in 2011, things like injury curses, excessive title shots, and sudden desires for film careers left us with hunger pains that could only be satiated by the announcement of another marquee match-up. That, or one of your wife’s famous steak sandwiches.
Call us greedy, call us insensitive, but we’re the type of fans that simply must have our every fantasy fulfilled, and it is with that in mind that we ask you, our fellow fanatics, to join us in a discussion of the five fights we NEED to witness this year, if only to end a few of the never ending arguments that constitute the CP comments sections. Here are our picks…
Why?: Because if we have to hear how lucky Silva got one more time, we are going to round up all of our writers and perform a full reenactment of Death of a (Real Estate) Salesman. Goldstein will play Willy Loman, the elderly and dillusional salesman (Obvs.). CrushCo will play Biff, the former football star who yearns for a life as a farmhand, and Seth will play Happy, the slacking womanizer, leaving none other than myself to play Linda. What can I say, it sucks being the new guy.
Why?: Depending on the outcome of Evans/Davis of course, this one needs to happen because 2011 was shockingly absent of, as Rampage would put it, “some black on black crime.” For reals though, if the rivalry between these two was great enough to create a rift in the almighty Team Jackson, then it’s definitely a fight worth seeing.
Why?: Because we need to end this whole “Face of Women’s MMA” debate. And since Ms. Carano seems reluctant to return to the cage, we’d be satisfied if this fight took place at a training facility, in the form of a dance off, or preferably, after a heated game of lingerie SCRABBLE.
Why?: Sorry Carlos, but THIS is the match that MMA fans have been clamoring for. It’s a classic battle of Good vs. Evil, Wealthy vs. Homeless, and Completely Incoherent vs. Sort of Incoherent. And now that one huge PPV draw has moved on to greener, chicken salad filled pastures, this fight would provide a much needed boost in the upcoming lineup, which is a bit stagnant, to be honest.
#1 – Anderson Silva vs. JJ, GSP, JDS…
Why?: Because we NEED an Anderson Silva supermatch. We don’t care who it’s against, we really just need to see Silva step outside of the 185 pound division to fight someone who has more than a Hail Mary’s chance in Hell of beating him. The man is the clean shaven, smirking face of domination, and it’s about time that he showed someone other than Justin Bieber that he can shuck and jive with anyone, and we mean ANYONE, placed before him. Make it happen, DW.
Give us your top five in the comments section below.