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CagePotato Presents: The Ten Most Ironic Nicknames in MMA

(What?! Every beast needs to take a cat nap every now and again.) 

For reasons we will never truly understand, a lot of emphasis seems to be placed on the monikers designated to a given fighter. For guys like Randy “The Natural” Couture, the nickname often represents an extension of a their personality, or an underlying philosophy that they bring into the cage. Guys like Renato “Babalu” Sobral, on the other hand, carry perhaps the most authentic nicknames of them all; names that, although holding little to no meaning in terms of the fight game, were bestowed upon the fighter as a child and simply stuck. And then there are guys like Justin “The Nsane1″ McCully, whose nicknames were most likely derived from an ill-fated, drunken AOL Instant Messenger conversation at 3 a.m. with the intent of finding something “fresh” and “intimidating” to bring to the table.

But even lower on the nickname totem pole than the Joe Lauzons and the Kendall Groves of the world are the guys whose nicknames completely clash with the public’s perception of who they truly are, their gameplan once they step into the ring, or simply their abilities as a fighter in general. So it is with that in mind that we present you with a brief rundown of the top ten fighters who are in desperate need of a name change if they want to continue to be taken seriously.

#10 - Sam “Hands of Stone” Stout

Not only does Stout have only one knockout to his credit in his 13-fight UFC career, he only has one finish in his UFC career. Granted, the KO he managed to pull off against Yves Edwards at UFC 131 was a freakin’ brilliant one, but you don’t see Chad Mendes calling himself “The Guillotine Machine” because he was able to pull it off once a couple years ago. Perhaps “Hands of Limestone” would be something a little more appropriate.

#9 - Matt “The Immortal” Brown

When your MMA record is just a notch above .500, it might be a little pretentious to refer to yourself as “Immortal.” Not even Superman was immortal, but he could sure as hell defend a guillotine choke when forced to do so. Not that we’re knocking Brown as a fighter, because like Stout, the guy always comes to throw down on fight night, and is one intimidating SOB to boot. Plus, as Jeremy May will surely tell you, pissing off Brown is not something you want to do if you enjoy having all of your teeth in their current location.

#8 - John “The Natural” Alessio

Besides the fact that the nickname already belongs to one of the godfathers of the sport, you shouldn’t be able to call yourself a natural anything when you’ve admitted to steroid use in the past.

#7 - Tito “The People’s Champ” Ortiz

You haven’t held a title in ten years, and you gave yourself a nickname that was both stolen from a professional wrestler and contradicts the heel role you have built your name on for the past fifteen or so years. For shame, Tito. For shame.

#6 - Joe “The Baddest Man on the Planet” Warren

Now, this technically isn’t Warren’s nickname, as it isn’t listed on his fighter profile, but Warren has referred to himself as such on several occasions, and has paid dearly in karma points as a result.

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scotri- June 29, 2012 at 2:12 am

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Mr_Misanthropy- June 26, 2012 at 11:01 pm
Keith "Jimmy Sizzletits" Jardine?
ghostboner- June 26, 2012 at 8:52 pm
Wanderlei "the axe murderer" Silva
Fried Taco- June 27, 2012 at 7:29 am
That's one of those names earned as a kid...
Edith Christ- June 26, 2012 at 4:55 pm
Huh, I hear Matt Brown's changing his nickname to "DILF" anyways.
Clyde- June 26, 2012 at 4:33 pm
Gina "Conviction" Carano
ctastrophe- June 26, 2012 at 3:07 pm
@El Guapo

He now goes by "The Natural Born Kenyan"
The12ozCurls- June 26, 2012 at 2:10 pm
Come on JJ!
Georges "RUSH" St. Pierre? Although I am a total GSP nut-hugger, even I think he is in absolutely NO RUSH to do anything - except maybe hang out with average looking skanks in a hot tub.
Rampages Conscience- June 26, 2012 at 1:43 pm
Did you just make a "What about Bob?" reference. Nice work my friend.
J.Jones- June 26, 2012 at 1:48 pm
*tips hat*
El Guapo- June 26, 2012 at 12:55 pm
Condit should drop that "Natural Born Killer" nonsense after running from Diaz for 5 rounds. If you think he won the fight, fine. But his nickname should be "Buzzkill", 'cause that's all the killing he did that night.
beef_kurtains- June 26, 2012 at 12:07 pm
Blevins was cleared of all charges.

Also, J. Jones and Seth Falvo rape kittens.
Pen Fifteen- June 26, 2012 at 12:00 pm
But seriously, Maurilo "Ninja" Rua. Pretty awful nickname for a guy who has never slipped a punch in his life.
Pen Fifteen- June 26, 2012 at 11:56 am
Tim "I Never Shit My Pants" Sylvia
Fried Taco- June 26, 2012 at 11:47 am
BTW, whenever I hear the word "butterbean", I picture a giant bean covered in butter. And wearing red, white and blue fight shorts. So that kind of works for me.
Fried Taco- June 26, 2012 at 11:45 am
*whew* was afraid I might show up on the list! cuz not only do I not have a taco, but I don't like them fried, either.