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CagePotato PSA: We Need Your Wild-Ass Fight Stories for This Week’s Roundtable

(“You break my high-score on Frogger? I break *you*.”)

We’re going to do something a little different for this week’s installment of the CagePotato Roundtable. Instead of listening to us blowhards pontificate, we’re going to let you guys run the show. The topic is: “What was the most memorable fight you’ve ever been in?”

It could be your first schoolyard scrap, a wild bar brawl when you were old enough to know better, or your first/greatest experience with sanctioned competition. Maybe a simple Halloween visit to Denny’s ended with you having to throw a chair at a bitch. Maybe you insulted Bas Rutten’s wife a few years back and have walked with a limp ever since. As long as your story is entertaining, we’d love to hear it.

Send your stories to by this Thursday night at midnight ET. We’ll pick a handful of the best ones and run ‘em on Friday. Please let us know if you don’t want us to print your names; we know some of you have outstanding warrants. Thanks guys!

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linzhanbz- May 13, 2012 at 1:31 am . . . .
HEY- May 10, 2012 at 7:01 am
One time, I got into this fight, and it was wild-ass. THE END P.S. I won.
2and0- May 9, 2012 at 7:39 pm
I sent one, Nate L. Print my name if you run it. People will lol.
RwilsonR- May 9, 2012 at 4:39 pm
So, are we counting fights on W.O.W.?
linzhanbw- May 9, 2012 at 10:31 am
intercept440- May 9, 2012 at 10:06 am
a guy spit on my so i punched him...he went to sleep.. the end
ArmFarmer- May 9, 2012 at 9:46 am
Oh.. i have some good ones...
MyFightWiffaCheeto- May 9, 2012 at 6:21 am
There is an entire thread of this in the forums.
Lutador Vomitando- May 8, 2012 at 10:31 pm
So I'm the head of my neighborhood watch down in Florida, and we've had a few break-ins lately. So a couple months back, it's getting late and I'm walking through my neighborhood, and I see some skinny little thugged-out black kid wearing a hoodie wandering around like he doesn't belong. So I try to do the right thing, I call the cops, and try to tell them where he's at and they tell me to stop following him. So I head back to my car and this little fucker jumps me and starts smacking me around. He's getting his GnP on, smashing the back of my head against the concrete. So I pull out my nine, bust a few rounds off, and suddenly he's not so tough laying there in the grass.
The police come, see what's up, give me an 'attaboy, and are on their way. Next thing I know, the media's on my doorstep, Al Sharpton is calling for my head, and the DA arrests ME! Can you believe that shit?
Shurgosa- May 8, 2012 at 10:12 pm
I work security and have had a few dust ups with homeless people. They always start trouble because I'm short. Well this one fella was taking a nap in a large fire exit stairwell with his girlfriend and they were not very excited to leave when I found them. Long story short I pestered them enough that he got mad bolted up and got in my face. He was his own cheerleading squad; he just got more and more upset. Then he "man-smacked" me across the face. One of those hard "man-slaps". Well I just freaked out yelling, screaming, calling them BAD words and tossing this guy around like a cabbage patch kid while punching him in the head. I have the WORST cardio on earth. I was born with a hole in my heart and rumour has it was never supposed to even walk or talk. But on my mothers ashes, at the end of it he was in front of me on his knees begging me to stop hitting him. I asked if he wanted another? he said No. He was not hurt beyond bruises but he was good and scared. And that is the story of us. He was marched out of the building by my co-workers 5 minutes later. You could not have taken the smile of my face with dynamite....
linzhanbv- May 8, 2012 at 2:06 pm ... ...
agentsmith- May 8, 2012 at 1:20 pm
Closest I've come to a fight since high school was about 6 years ago when some dirtbag dude challenged me in a Walmart. I'd given him the Stockton Hey-Buddy and a hearty "fuck you" in the parking lot after he nearly ran me over with his beat-up pickup truck and then yelled at me to boot. Later we crossed paths in the shoe aisle, and he decided he needed to put me in my place and show off to his equally scummy woman. I was several inches taller and about 75 pounds (of fat) bigger than him, but I was in literally the worst physical shape of my life at the time, while he had the kind of wiry muscles that come from a lifetime of hard labor and harder living. I realized I was about to get my ass kicked in a Walmart, as proper high-class gentlemen do, but for some reason I didn't care... maybe I was just in a pissy mood, but I decided I wasn't going to put my tail between my legs for this dirtbag loser. So when he asked if I wanted to make something outta this, I just stepped up right close to him and said: "Do you?" We eye-fucked each other for a few seconds that felt like an eternity, until he backed down in the way that guys do when they're trying to not look like a pussy while they're doing it.

I still think I probably got lucky, but it also proved to me that not every asshole who acts like he wants a fight really does, a lot just want to intimidate you without actually doing anything to back it up.
The12ozCurls- May 8, 2012 at 1:56 pm
You should have picked up a size 12 Caterpillar steel-toe work boot and beat him repeatedly about the neck and head area. After he was down, you should have stole his meth and butt-slammed his skank right there in the shoe aisle. You were in WalMart - nobody would have noticed.
Fletch the V Stretch- May 8, 2012 at 12:58 pm
I am half tempted to send something in. But against better judgement, I am going to refrain.
Fletch the V Stretch- May 8, 2012 at 1:27 pm
Who the fack gave me a thumbs down? Show yourself coward and I will make a CP story out of you yet!
Fletch the V Stretch- May 8, 2012 at 2:08 pm
It appears I have a "hater"d
The12ozCurls- May 8, 2012 at 1:51 pm
I believe most of your stories would not fall into the fight category but are most likely classified as hate crimes. lol. And I gave u 2 thumbs up so don't lynch me bro.
Fletch the V Stretch- May 8, 2012 at 2:07 pm
Let it be known, I have NEVER partaken in anything hate crime related. I have however beaten many a ass in my day. Everywhere from the hockey rink, to the gym, to outside bars downtown Athens, GA. I have a fake plastic WRASSLIN belt my friends in college bought for me as their all-time fav downtown brawler. Undefeated, Undisputed.
Dizzlefizz- May 8, 2012 at 12:38 pm
This takes place in a semi small town in Denmark about 5 years ago. I'm a lean 125 pounder,have nada fight experience but watch all the MMA I can, so not a big guy. One night in town some dude was convinced that I had beat up his younger brother the weekend before.
He yelled at me, didn't even have time to turn around before he tackled me to the ground. I was freaking out, he had about 50 pounds on me and I was sure I would get beaten to a pulp. Suddenly I felt this weird calm, and thought "I have seen guys in this situation hundreds of times on the tube get triangle choked, and sure enough wrapped my legs and pulled down on his head and shortly thereafter he was out and I could make my getaway. Funny how just watching MMA all the time can actually help irl.
The12ozCurls- May 8, 2012 at 12:34 pm
Don't post them here - email them to
NastyNate0217- May 8, 2012 at 12:31 pm
OK, but my best story is right when I got out of the Army Rangers. I was going to surprise my pregnant wife, Tricia, with my arrival. She worked at a bar and I went to the bar and got her, but as we were leaving these drunk a-holes came out and started hassling her and me. One cracked me over the head with a bottle, and despite her constant screams to not do anything I had to defend my pregnant wife, so I Army Rangered those motha******* and accidentaly killed one by shoving his nose into his brain with my palm. I was sentenced to 7-10 in a maximum security prison for defending my wife, isn't that some bullshit. That's actually just the beginning of my troubles, but that's another story!
JoeJoe- May 8, 2012 at 3:53 pm
Wait a minute thats from the movie Con Air LOL
Stak40- May 8, 2012 at 12:30 pm
...and let the lying begin!
NastyNate0217- May 8, 2012 at 12:24 pm
My first fight happened when I was 5. I don't remember but my dad and uncle love to talk about it. They were roofing our house and could see us, me (5), my brother (7), and a 9 year old kid from down the street. This kid started making fun of and pushing my brother around, I didn't say anything, walked over to the guy, reached my hand to the ground and floored the kid. The kid fell on his has, grabbed his bloody nose and ran home screaming "mom, mom!"
Viva Hate- May 8, 2012 at 12:02 pm
Wait, does this mean we get to see a cameo appearance by MRuss to tell the story that got him banned from the US.
Ricardo Guitardo- May 8, 2012 at 11:33 am
One time I got in this fight with like.....100 dudes. I won of course but it was close for a little bit.
Fried Taco- May 8, 2012 at 11:26 am
Do internet fights count? Because once there was this idiot named TUF Guy...
Jsak47- May 8, 2012 at 11:16 am
"Wow, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand."